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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » my bi (ex)boyfriend

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Author Topic: my bi (ex)boyfriend
Member # 6638

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i'm sure there's probably a post on here already about this, but i can't seem to find it. anyway, my dilema is this: last year i had a fabulous relationship with a guy. a little too fabulous actually, and it scared me how quickly things were going. so at the end of the school year i went back home, and then broke up with him, just wanting to have a nice, carefree summer. when we got back to school in the fall he told me he was still interested in having a relationship, and i was feeling a little more mature and a little more prepared, so i agreed and we got back together. things were more fabulous than fabulous and i was truly happy, until one day he decided to tell me what he'd done with his summer. when i'd broken up with him he'd been pretty destroyed, and he decided to explore his sexual identity. he'd been with a couple of guys, to try and figure out what he really wanted. i was fine with this, knowing didn't change anything for me, he was still the same great person. it wasn't okay for him though, and few days later he decided he had more exploring to do, and that we needed to take a break. it was my turn to be destroyed, but i did have the hope that he'd come back. since then our relationship has been pretty rocky, sometimes it's like we never broke up, sometimes we're not even friends. we've been on a particularly downward spiral lately. i guess the reason for this post is just to see if anyone else has really experienced this, and maybe could help me a little with what he's thinking, and what i could expect?
Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5460

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It sounds to me like he's very confused, and trying to sort out his sexual orientation by experimenting with other people, which in and of itself is a sticky situation. If he has internet access, you might consider pointing him to this site -- we have some excellent articles about sexual orientation.


As for figuring out what's going on in his head, well, hon, there's really only one way to find out -- talk to him. Communication is absolutely the best way to figure out what's going on with a partner. Ask him where he thinks your relationship is going, what he's feeling about his sexuality, what he really wants to do. Talk about how you're feeling too -- if you're concerned about anything he's doing, how you felt when he broke up with you, whatever's on your mind.

And of course, if either of you have multiple sexual partners, you both need to be even more diligent about safer sex practices, okay? Safe, Sound & Sexy ? A Safer Sex How-To


Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform."
-- Alfred Kinsey

Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6638

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communication is a problem, but not from a lack of trying on my part. originally when he decided to take a break he told me to come to him with anything i needed to talk about or ask. it then turned into him saying "i don't want to talk about this" every time i tried, and even "i don't want to talk to you at all" for a bit. every conversation turns into him getting mad and reiterating how hard everything is for him, but i don't think he understands how hard it is for me too. it's especially hard when he doesn't give me any insight into whether he has plans of coming back or how long this whole exploring thing is going to take.
sorry, i know this is just a big rant and probably doesn't belong here, but he doesn't want me to tell people about this yet. keeping it to myself doesn't make things any better....

Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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