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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Best Friends II

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Author Topic: Best Friends II
jazzpenguin
Activist
Member # 5272

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Sorry to write so much. It's a bit difficult at the moment.

There has been a developement. My best friend told me (on the phone) quite frankly that he wanted to keepme as a friend, and that there was no chance of me being his boyfriend. The conversation was really casual, and he said it just to make sure I wouldn't make any advances at him, but it was all a bit jokey.

I'm heart broken

Only now do I realise that I really love him, and how much I wanted to be his boyfriend. (And now I really hate his girlfriend, because I'm jealous, but that's just silly.)

Is there any chance left? Has anyone had this kind of experience before?

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jz


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Actually, I find it makes for far more valuable, earnest relationships when you let go of caring what role someone plays in your life (platoinic friend, boyfriend, etc) and simply appreicate having them in your life in whatever way works best for you both.

In other words, you're banging your head against the wall if you want not only a poartner who already haas one, but a partner whose sexual orientation most likely excludes you as a possible romantic partner.

You ask me, when we "really love people," we love them for who they are, not for what they are.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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John Doe
Activist
Member # 3836

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He is being very clear and honest with you. If he is straight, you are not going to have him as a boyfriend. If you make advances on him, you will probably lose him as a friend. Just enjoy your friendship with him.
Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jazzpenguin
Activist
Member # 5272

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Heather,
Thankyou so much for your advice. I will always keep it in mind. You are completely right. Once again, thanks.

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jz


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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