First, welcome to Scarleteen. *Does the Scarleteen welcome dance.*
Second, I am, perhaps, in a very similar situation.
I soooo have a crush on this guy at school, but I am not going to tell him that because something bad might happen. I doubt it would, but it could happen all the same. On the other hand, if I don't find out I'm going to explode. I too am only out to a few of my best friends.
There are two ways to look at it. Okay, so there are a million ways to look at it, but I only have time for the two that I'm considering. I can do the whole admire-him-secretly-for-all-of-high-school-and-never-find-out-if-something-could-happen-thing, or I could ask him if he's gay/bi/just interested in a relationship with me and deal with the truth. I am probably going to go with the admire him secretly plan, but that's only because I think the crush is more fun than the really big probability that he's completely straight and I have no chance. Oh well. It seems like it's a really big deal right now, and maybe for the next two or three weeks/months/years, but it won't be such a big deal in the big scheme of things. Now what kind of weird-o's scheme involves playing with my love life?
I am not who I appear to be.
Gaffer--from under the moon backstage