My friend (we'll call him Henry)identifies as homosexual, and he is going out with another guy from our school (we'll call him Sean). A lot of people at my high school are very homophobic, so Henry and Sean keep their relationship secret. I haven't asked them why they do it, why they don't just show their love, but whatever's best for them... Do any of you hide your relationship with someone of the same sex? Or could you care less about what other people think and show your love for your partner openly? I know some people are ashamed of their sexuality and prefer to hide it from a lot of people, becasue they're afraid that they'll be made fun of or not be accepted. And in some cases, people are abused by their peers becasue of their sexuality. Are you guys open about it? What's your take?
Posts: 500 | From: Ohio, U.S.A. | Registered: Feb 2001
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My girlfriend and I, wonderful as we are together, hide our relationship from our closest group of friends. We go to extreme lengths to hide it, because if we don't, we lose our closest group of friends. If it weren't for a couple of influential people's attitudes in that group (specifically towards me, not her), we could be as open as we want to. Things being as they are, though, I can't even bound up, throw my arms around her and kiss her, and it's sad to think that image my fondest wish right now. We've agonized over this for months now (coming up on 8, actually), and every time, we come up with the same conclusion. Not right now.
Why do we do it? Because we're tired of fighting the battle. It's stupid and weak and pointless of us to just quit, but we have. I just don't feel these people even deserve to know anymore. The two or three that are causing problems, though, would be happy to learn about us and would take great joy in wedging us apart. Right now, we just couldn't handle that.
There are days when all I want is to dance with her. It hurts.
(Writer's note: This post is a little overemotional. I just woke up, and it's one of _those_ days.)
There are two girls at my school who have an open relationship, and while a lot of people say they are "grossed out" by it, I think the girls have guts. I admire their courage to be in an open realtionship in today's society. I am friendly with both of them and they told me how hard it was to be open, but how much better they felt once everyone knew.
So to all you people in an open gay/lesbian relationship, my hats off to you!
------------------ Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseats cause kids! (So be careful!) Luvs to Jeremy! Email me at FlirtieGirlie7@yahoo.com
Posts: 141 | From: The Bolton Ghetto, Mass. :-) | Registered: Jan 2001
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I have yet to be in a serious relationship with a girl (or any at all) but... a.) I highly doubt she'd go to my school b.) I might hide it.
I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, I just feel that it's no one else's bussiness. And for her safety (mental and physical) as well as mine, it would probably be for the better if we didn't have it out in the open. In public places I wouldn't have a problem with it, though.
I do have an incredible fried (whom I have a crush on, so we'll call her Stacy) and we've held hands at are school, I've sat in her lap and given her piggy back rides, she comes up behind me and hugs me and stuff (hmmm, maybe that's why everyone thinks we're lesbians? She actually has a boyfriend). She's just a really friendly person and at first i was a little weird for me, but now I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me.
So yeah, I would keep it in private from my school, but in other places I wouldn't care.
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My girlfriend and I hide out relationship in school. When we were first going out, we agreed on that because we go to a pretty homophobic school but it's kinda funny cuz we're on the same hockey team (along with two other people that go to our school) and our team is very, very, very close. So when we (anyone from our team) see each other in the halls we run over and give them a big ol' hug. I digress.
My best friend knows along with a close friend of my best friend and some of her friends know. But other than that, her mom does (she suspected us and asked her about it) and my best friend's dad (long story).
As odd as it may sound, in hindsight (and given the time period I was in), I might actually have reconsidered how open I was about my same-sex relationships.
I went to a public high school for one year before getting into a performing arts school. At the public high school I was at, suffice it to say (especially in the early eighties) a gal with combat boots and magenta hair and boyfriends and girlfriends caused quite the ruckus. And at the time, I was more than open, I was very in-your-face (I recall one homemade t-shirt of mine which read "I stole your girlfriend" -- yes, I was impetuous and obnoxious once, too).
Again, for me, that was important and I felt strongly about being able to be who I was and with who I was.
But years later, my younger sister -- who is keenly hypersensitive, and always felt a bit like she lived in my shadow -- went to that school, and for the entire first year she was there had a really hard time carving out any identity for herself because I had apparently become something of a legand, and part of that legend was that I was a lesbian. I was bisexual, but when I was there, I never corrected people who made their own assumptions. So, I remember getting very upset phone calls from my younger sister her first year of high school because everywhere she went, she was teased about her "dyke" sister.
At that time too, I thought she was just being oversensitive and should be stronger than that. but the point is, she just wasn't. And in hindsight, while I am glad I was always out, I think given the chance to do it again, I might have opted to be out in a way that was a LITTLE more subtle.
But again, that may simply be a difference in the times...but maybe not. Just thought I'd toss it out there.
Miz Scarlet, I can see where you would have wanted to be less open about being bisexual (or lesbian as some people assumed). But hey, you did what you felt was right at the time... I often feel the need to express myself and not hide who I am.
I'm really suprised as to how many different thoughts there are on this subject! I guess whatever works for you is right for you.
I wanna update you on Henry and Sean (as mentioned in my first post). Well, they were in the boys bathroom together a few days ago during school (or after, I'm not sure)... But to make a long story short, they were caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing at school. So they were both suspended, and word got out and now EVERYONE in the school knows about their relationship. It was the gossip of the week. While I know they had it coming (they shouldn't have been fooling around in PUBLIC if they wanted their relationship to be a secret), I still feel bad about everyone knowing, because the name-calling and jokes have already started behind their backs. ::sigh::. Anyway, it'll be interesting when they come back to school.
Have any of you ever been caught with your partner while you were trying to keep your raltionship secret? (Just thought I'd add to the topic).
------------------ Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes, because then you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes!
hey im not gay or bi im pretty sure im straight(never ruling out the possibility of being gay in the future) but i have two gay uncle and an auntie whos a lesbian and they are really happy wihtthemselves but i get upset when ppl pay out ppl or call them gay or sumthing like cause my mum is a sexual helth doctor and nmost of the ppl she works with are gay and they are all so nce,, cept for the few who just arnt nice ppl. i also have heaps of ppl at my skool that are lesbians(i go to a girls skool) i think tow of them are even engaged and think its sweet. its cool cause at our skool ppl r open bout that. just thought id add it Claire
Posts: 82 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2000
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