posted
I just found out one of my best friends hates homosexual people. I think it's totally unfair that he hates them. It really upsets me, and I need to explain to him that he should not hate gay people. Could you guys help me out and give me some pointers as to how to explain this to him?
------------------ Shine, make em wonder whatcha got!-Newsboys (((Kristine)))
And the best tack to take with something like this is to simply ask someone WHY. Most people "hate" something or someone out of fear. Bigotry in general is all about fear, and because someone assumes that any omne group of people can be a threat to another's value.
So, just asking WHY he feels the way he does may be illuminating for you both. Since things like this usually aren't well-thought-out, but are knee-jerk reactions, often based in fear or ignorance, getting your friend to THINK about them is good no matter what he eventually ends up feeling.
------------------ Heather Corinna Editor and Founder, Scarleteen
"If you're a bird, be an early early bird -- But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein
Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Hey, Kandy. I've had this discussion with A LOT of people.
"I don't think gays are right," they say.
"Why not?"
"It's just gross. I hate gays."
What I've found is that some people don't think of homosexuals as "people". They're just "gays". I try to tell people this, and sometimes it gets through to them, but somtimes it doesn't. I know with my friend Bill (name changed for personal reasons), it took him meeting a "person" that he learned to respect and love and then finding out they were gay to accept gay people. It took him a while, but Bill suddenly realized that people are people, no matter who they sleep with. I would definately take to heart what Miz Scarlet said. Just get him to think about it... Maybe the right answer will come to him in time.
------------------ "Straight it boring," ~Loreal Le Grande Curl commercial
I hope what I'm about to say will not sound discouraging, but you often cannot change the way a person feels about one particular thing.
Maybe it's just my experience, but I'll give you an example: my mom.
She didn't know about homosexuals until she was in university. She's friends with several homosexuals, but last night, when I asked her if she'd have a problem if she found out one of her children were gay, she replied, "Yes. It's just too close for me."
Sure, she's more acceptable of gay people than she was 20 or more years back - but it's not something she would be able to handle if it were one of her children that were gay.
posted
Ok, here's what my friends are thinking for me to do: Come out to everyone so people can see that being gay doesn't make you a different person.
I wish it were that easy. But it's not. People aren't going to be swayed just because someone that they love is gay. I questioned the logic and my best friend said, "Well, when they find out they'll think, 'hey, maybe it isn't so bad cuz she's gay and everyone loves her'" And my rebut was, "It may work for some people ... but not a lot if it's what they were taught and firmly believe in."
If it's his religious belief,though, it's probably not very likely that his point of view would change.
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