Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » My friend.

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: My friend.
~KandyKiss69~
Activist
Member # 3052

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ~KandyKiss69~     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just found out one of my best friends hates homosexual people. I think it's totally unfair that he hates them. It really upsets me, and I need to explain to him that he should not hate gay people. Could you guys help me out and give me some pointers as to how to explain this to him?

------------------
Shine, make em wonder whatcha got!-Newsboys
(((Kristine)))


Posts: 66 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, you can take a look at the Gaydar section of the site for starters: http://www.scarleteen.com/gaydar/

And the best tack to take with something like this is to simply ask someone WHY. Most people "hate" something or someone out of fear. Bigotry in general is all about fear, and because someone assumes that any omne group of people can be a threat to another's value.

So, just asking WHY he feels the way he does may be illuminating for you both. Since things like this usually aren't well-thought-out, but are knee-jerk reactions, often based in fear or ignorance, getting your friend to THINK about them is good no matter what he eventually ends up feeling.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~KandyKiss69~
Activist
Member # 3052

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ~KandyKiss69~     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I asked him why, he answered, it's just not right.

------------------
Shine, make em wonder whatcha got!-Newsboys
(((Kristine)))


Posts: 66 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mary
Activist
Member # 2769

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mary     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, Kandy. I've had this discussion with A LOT of people.

"I don't think gays are right," they say.

"Why not?"

"It's just gross. I hate gays."

What I've found is that some people don't think of homosexuals as "people". They're just "gays". I try to tell people this, and sometimes it gets through to them, but somtimes it doesn't. I know with my friend Bill (name changed for personal reasons), it took him meeting a "person" that he learned to respect and love and then finding out they were gay to accept gay people. It took him a while, but Bill suddenly realized that people are people, no matter who they sleep with. I would definately take to heart what Miz Scarlet said. Just get him to think about it... Maybe the right answer will come to him in time.

------------------
"Straight it boring," ~Loreal Le Grande Curl commercial


Posts: 500 | From: Ohio, U.S.A. | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
$uMMeR
Activist
Member # 2658

Icon 1 posted      Profile for $uMMeR     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey Kandy,

I hope what I'm about to say will not sound discouraging, but you often cannot change the way a person feels about one particular thing.

Maybe it's just my experience, but I'll give you an example: my mom.

She didn't know about homosexuals until she was in university. She's friends with several homosexuals, but last night, when I asked her if she'd have a problem if she found out one of her children were gay, she replied, "Yes. It's just too close for me."

Sure, she's more acceptable of gay people than she was 20 or more years back - but it's not something she would be able to handle if it were one of her children that were gay.

------------------
*Read my diary

*Read my page

*And...alwayz :)


Posts: 194 | From: city of Anghelz | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
Activist
Member # 2748

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DrQuack5     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, here's what my friends are thinking for me to do: Come out to everyone so people can see that being gay doesn't make you a different person.

I wish it were that easy. But it's not. People aren't going to be swayed just because someone that they love is gay. I questioned the logic and my best friend said, "Well, when they find out they'll think, 'hey, maybe it isn't so bad cuz she's gay and everyone loves her'" And my rebut was, "It may work for some people ... but not a lot if it's what they were taught and firmly believe in."

If it's his religious belief,though, it's probably not very likely that his point of view would change.


Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3