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Author Topic: I need your help!
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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For the upcoming benefit in Minneapolis for Scarleteen, at least once or twice during the evening, I'll need to go up on stage and explain to the general audience what this site is for, how it works, and what value it has to our users.

I hate public speaking, I really do. You think at my age I'd be down with it by now, but alas, it still makes me queasy. It'd rock to have some of YOUR words to read, instead of my incessant babble. Even if that were NOT the case, it'd be really helpful to have some words from some of YOU about the value this site has to read out loud, maybe even to print out with some of the other materials we'll be circulating.

So, might some of you do a lady a favor and just write a paragraph for me here about when and why you first came to Scarleteen, what you needed/were looking for, what you feel is unique about Scarleteen, why you stick around, how we've helped you out, how what we do here has changed things for you, and so forth? Including your age and location would be really nice.

Thanks so much!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67055 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faifai
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17971

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(sorry, it's kind of long [Smile] )

When and why I first came to Scarleteen
--I accidentally landed here while doing a Google search about STI testing. This was in…May 2004.

What you needed when you came
--I came because I needed information about STI testing—more specifically, I needed proof on why my boyfriend absolutely needed to be tested.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen
--Scarleteen does not “dumb down” its information. It provides straightforward information about nearly everything sexuality-related, knowing that its target audience is at an age where they will need the information and they will be sexually active regardless of what misinformation they are told about how sex is harmful, dangerous, emotionally draining, whatever. It takes the “shame” out of sex, which is what most kids get out of their sex ed. It is also comprehensive sex ed, and presents both sides of issues—regardless of whether you’re sexually active, abstinent, or something in-between, you can find what you’re looking for here.

Why do I stick around?
--I stick around because people need support. On the boards especially, we’re all here to support and help out one another. That, and as I am addicted to the Internet, I am virtually always online and available to answer questions if I can.

How have I helped out?
--Well, after about a year and a half of drifting around on the boards, the Miz asked me if I’d like to mod and I said yes. Now I help moderate the Health and Nutrition and Relationships sections of the boards.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
--In just about every way. I don’t feel like I’m talking nonsense if people ask me my opinions about many sexuality-related issues. I have information at the ready for people who are uncomfortable talking about sex, but need to know. I give advice to my friends and they know they can come to me anytime if they want frank, sound advice. That, and I learned to balance my personal beliefs with my duties as a mod—it doesn’t matter whether I agree with someone’s choices or not, but I will never lie to them or otherwise try and sway them with what I think they ought to do.

--------------------
disconnect and let me drift/until my upside down is right side *in*

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Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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When/why I first came to Scarleteen:
I hadn't gotten my period for 3 months and I was looking for reasons to explain this to avoid going to the doctor. (Silly me, I know.) That was in....January 2004. I just poked around the site; I finally registered in September 2004.

What you needed when you came:
Some sort of explanation of what could cause a missed period for a few months, besides pregnancy.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen:
The information presented is straightforward and detailed, but easy to understand at the same time. There's no judgement of anyone who asks a question, just a simple, straightforward answer.

Why do you stick around?
I really enjoy being able to help people, and it's great to know that if I ever had a problem, people would be willing to help me out as well.

How have I helped out?
I recently became a moderator, and now I help moderate the Sex Basics and Sexual Health forum.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
It's pretty much affected my whole life. I feel like I know how to take care of my sexual health, and I've developed a very clear idea of my boundaries and limits when it comes to any sort of sexual activity. I've also become the person that most of my friends come to for advice, and I like that I can give them unbiased information.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Nailo
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Member # 26390

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I first came to Scarleteen in December 2005. My boyfriend and I had just decided we were ready to begin engaging in sexual intercourse,and knew it would be happening some time the following week. I had no idea what to do, or what to expect, so I typed in my queries in google. The first site I visited was a lot of people saying how to give blow jobs and "what men like". I admit, I was naive, and advice on performance was what I was looking for.

Then I found Scarleteen, and I realized how wrong I was. I realized I didn't need to hear what individual people liked. What I needed was real sexual education, and Scarleteen provided that in a larger quantity than I had ever seen. Unlike many websites adressing sex, Scarleteen has founded information that teens can rely on. Another plus is that it not only adresses sex, it gives people the opportunity to talk about problems with abuse, relationships,and body image.

I have no intention of leaving this site. It provides a positive environment, and without fail, it has answered every question I've needed an answer to. This site has helped me fully come to terms with my troubles with prior sexual abuse, and put me on the path to recovery. It also has helped me when I've had trouble with people who I thought were my friends, providing supportive, quick advice that made me feel a lot better about my situation. In addition, I know that if I ever have a question about sex, I'll get a good, educated response.

I'd like to say I'm not from the United States. I'm a 16 year old from Costa Rica. This only comes to show how wide Scarleteen's influence has come. Though I don't have access to money I can donate, I would love to one day, because this site is truly worthwhile.

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Thanks so much, you three!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Ecofem
Activist
Member # 13388

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OK, I meant to really think this out and spend time on this, but instead of writing an unfinished essay, I'll just give the short answers that come to mind at first. [Wink]

When and why I first came to Scarleteen
--In the summer of 2003, I had been looking for at-home cures for seemingly chronic BV, if I remember correctly. (The reply was quick and helpful, and the problem has been gone since then.)

What you needed when you came
--Please see above. I read the articles and then posted my question on the Board.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen
--The articles aren't just informative, but really fun to read. The advice is straightforward, non-judgemental and personal. The right to choose has always been a very important issue to me, and I like how this view is not up for debate here. And things like, "If you're feeling sexually frustrated, then masturbate!" are so right on, yet so few people are willing to say it!

I'd listen to Loveline on the radio starting at age 13, almost ten years ago; even then I was frustrated with how sexist, inaccurate or conservatively-biased the responses were. Yet it was a key source of information for many teens who didn't have many other options. I'm glad Scarleteen is available as a much better alternative.

My mom, whom I would describe as very open-minded and feminist but also the product of pre-baby boomer upbringing, once excitedly told me about the site, which she had happened to run across. She hadn't known about my involvement yet, and she asked: "Have you seen this site, Scarleteen? It's great, like they have this wonderful checklist!" She's pretty critical, so that's a big deal coming from her!

Why do I stick around?
--ST feels like a nice, welcoming and helpful environment of people (I mean all posters) with different backgrounds helping each other. Scarleteen makes sex ed fun!

How have I helped out?
--I answered posts for awhile and then was more recently made to be a volunteer; I moderate the Support Groups; Orientation and Identity; and Parents, Teens and Adults forums. I went through some pretty traumatic stuff relating to relationships, sex and sexuality in high school, which I pretty much had to go through alone with the help of my best friend; I feel an huge need and desire to give back and help others in such tough situations. Sexuality is such an important part of us, yet it is becoming even more increasingly taboo to even discuss; at Scarleteen, I can help with sex education without being restricted or censored to the point of absurdity.

I'm also working on an article for the site, and I'm someone my friends and family can always go to for related information.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
--In my profile I say: “Scarleteen completely revolutionized the way I view sex and sexuality." And I truly mean it. I was raised in a quite liberal household, but a lot was missing, especially after getting out an abusive relationship and questioning my sexual orientation.

I feel very empowered by the knowledge I've accquired: if only everyone could feel as informed and in control of their sexuality and sex lives, I really think the world would be a better place!

Unfulfilling sexual experiences aren't exactly on the same level as world hunger or global subjugation of women (although they certainly are related), but it makes me very, very sad that so many people are having such bad experiences. And often just because they aren't informed of STI risks, comfortable with their own bodies or empowered enough to set and stick to their own boundaries.

So thank you, Heather, and Scarleteen. [Smile]

[ 03-18-2006, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

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feefiefofemme
Activist
Member # 23917

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen

I came to Scarleteen in... I believe it was April or May of 2005, though I didn't register right off. I stumbled upon the site while looking for a reliable source of information regarding homo- and bisexuality.

What you needed when you came

I was just feeling generally lost and confused about my sexual orientation. Things weren't going so great for me and I was under a lot of stress from school and stuff. I needed someone supportive to talk to.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen

Scarleteen is unique because it doesn't condone abstinence-only, "if you have sex you'll die" programs, and gives people reliable, useful information about sex, STDs, and general body and soul related stuff. All the stuff you don't (but should) get in schools. Also, Scarleteen doesn't just focus on the physical aspects of sex. Here you can get help with emotional stuff too, which is great.

Why do I stick around?

I stick around because there's this wonderful, supportive environment that's set up here, and I really trust the volunteers to give helpful answers to questions I might have.

How have I helped out?

I answer posts if I can. I'm always willing to help out other users, when possible.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?

Scarleteen has been with me through everything. Here I've gone through accepting my sexuality, dealing with my crushes, same and opposite sex, coming out to my parents, and the beginnings of what will hopefully be the ending of my depression and OCPD. I've become so much more comfortable with myself since I first came here, and I give Scarleteen at the very least half credit for that. Plus I know so much more about safe sex (physically and otherwise) than I did before. Scarleteen is just a good place.

[ 03-18-2006, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: BiGoddess ]

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summergoddess
Activist
Member # 11352

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen
I checked out Scarleteen in late 2002, but i finally registered in January 2003. Scarleteen was mentioned at another board that used to be around, Teenage Chicken Soup or in short TCS. Sex and other sexual related issues have been one of my favorite topics to talk about and discuss with people, and i'm very comfortable on the subject. Scarleteen had those subjects and about relationships and etc.

What you needed when you came
I didn't really need anything at the time. Honest. I basically just wanted a board that was as comfortable as I was about things. So i got that.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen
Scarleteen is really unique for giving very very straight and reliable answers about sex, sexuality, and the like. Scarleteen gives the sexual education that you should be getting in school, but sadly the schools do not teach the right things. Scarleteen does not judge anyone at all. It's very open minded.

Why do I stick around?
I stick around for the reasons stated above, and I love helping people when I can.

How have I helped out?
I have helped out when I can by answering posts, sharing experiences, and etc.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
Scarleteen has continued to impact me to continue being the open minded person I am and being non-judgemental of people that I come aross online and in real life. I've acquired more information/knowledge on sex, sexuality and other things with the info that I had before coming to Scarleteen. I also continue to learn and also teach to others and be of support.

Thank you Scarleteen and Heather for being you always and please continue to do so!

--------------------
~Jules

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new_england04
Neophyte
Member # 31262

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hi im wondering if it is wrong to look at models like maxim and stuff like that but not naked
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.:LaSmiley:.
Neophyte
Member # 31207

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen?
OKay so i just joined this site this same month of October 2006.I'm new here but i really like it.

What I was looking for when i came here?
I was doing a yahoo search on Pregnancy. Because i was curious as to if i was pregnant and pregnancy symptoms and all that. Then i just landed here on this site.I'm glad i did.

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen
I like the way this site gives real information as if actually caring for it's user's health and their opinions thoughts, etc.. Other sites just give the main information but don't support what they say or tell the people. Scarlteen has helped me alot in physical and healthful ways.

Why do I stick around?
I stick around because i like it of course!!!.lol. if not why would i be here doing this. I really enjoy the people. And how when someone has a problem or a thought people answer with unique and mature answers. Not by a critsism like other sites i have been to.

How have I helped out?
As i been here i think i've posted like 3 posts so far.lol. i know it's not enough but it was over people that were concerned or hada problem. and i feel like i helped them in some way.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
It's impacted me in many ways. If i have a question i always find the answer here. I also love the fact that this site talks about everything not just one topic. You know?. i have no intention of leavign this website becasue i enjoy been here the short time i been here. [Razz]

[ 10-28-2006, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: .:LaSmiley:. ]

--------------------
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

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James the Dark
Activist
Member # 32379

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen
--I accidentally came across this site while looking for pictures of a gothic model a few months ago.

What you needed when you came
-- Technically, I didn't, at the time, need anything. My coming here was pure chance. However, the site proved to be a treasure trove of information I found quite enlightening. While I had what could be considered a fairly advanced education in the area of sex and intimacy before coming here, what I've found here has humbled my previous assertions. At least now I have proper knowledge to match my hubris [Big Grin]

What you feel is unique about Scarleteen
-- It's frank, clear, and has no bias toward the prevalent 'Don't Do It!' trend which I found in most other sexual information sites. Well, American ones, anyway. It also carries pretty much any kind of information I feel I could need in one place, rather than having me search about to find something.

Why do I stick around?
-- I'm curious. I want to know. Everything. So I stick around and try to learn from what others discuss, in the off chance that something I read might become important at some unforeseen time in the future. That, and I'm curious. Didn't I mention I was curious?

How have I helped out?
-- It gave me a place to vent, basically dispensing everything that had gone wrong in my life up to that point in a single venue. Such expression, I find, is catharcic in its own right, and as I said, it offers a playground for the hyperactive monkey that is my curiosity.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?
-- Not an easy question to answer. I'm still pretty much the same person I was before, albeit fairly better informed. The information will probably protect me from unnecessary hardship, if my own over-cautious nature doesn't, and it gave me a place to vent.
Also, I figured out why my memory is so shoddy. So... I guess that's something kinda important. And finally, by reading accounts of the other survivors of abuse, it lets me know that there are others who had it a lot worse, and they're still going. So that'd make me a bit of a wimp if I couldn't keep going my own self, eh?

--------------------
"And you're really asking me if I prefer injury to embarrassment? That's not even a choice. I don't know anybody who's literally died of embarrassment."

People are annoying sometimes.

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not_a_hobgoblin
Activist
Member # 29206

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen: I came here... about a year ago? because I was beginning to feel pretty sure that I was either bi or a lesbian, and I had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

What I needed when I came: I had so many questions. How would I ask girls out? How did two girls even have sex? Once I came here, I realized how much I hadn't even known that I didn't know; it was like having the answers to life, the universe, and everything (sexual, that is) laid out before me.

What I feel is unique about Scarleteen: It's for us. It's for teenagers. The articles are not just informative, they're fun to read, in our kind of language. Adults here treat us with respect for our own intelligence and independance.

Why do I stick aroud?:I love this place. I like it that I can help other people like me. I like having this place to be someone that can make a difference. I feel like I have a stake in this, more than any other kind of social outreach opportunities available to me. Plus, I will probably never run out of questions. [Razz]

How have I helped out?: I try to answer questions intelligently and honestly. I also recommend the site to friends. And if I had money, in some future in which I have money, I will certainly pour some in.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?: Wow. I am so much more confident than I used to be, about anything. I feel in control of myself and my sexuality. I feel like I can take the kinds of challenges that will come at me as I come out to people. And I feel like I can help people.

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

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MsJinnyLi
Neophyte
Member # 46254

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Funny! Where in Minneapolis are you doing the benefit? Because I live in Minneapolis and I would be ecstatic to come see you speak!


I was looking for a website that could just give me straight answers without all of the myths and still be reasonably logic. Scarleteen has confirmed my answers in more ways then one and it continues to astound me since it promotes SAFE SEX and openness. The uniqueness of Scarleteen has brought forth the questions and answers that most schools that teaches SEX ED don't. I love how Scarleteen has very knowledgeable AND diverse Staff Members. They give all they can with high hopes that their readers will listen and make a better choice. There is one article that I have read "Give'em Some Lip: Labia That Clearly Ain't Minor" has made me even more proud to have a labia. I have had my ups and downs with my Labia because I was self-conscious of how different it looked from the only source of "pussy" I have ever seen and that was pornography. Due to my self-consciousness, I was never open to the wonders of cunnilingus until I met a very special person who told me lips are beautiful in every shape and form. That article has completely solidified my love for my body. Thank you for that. [Smile]

Julie, 20
Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Jenny: alas, you'll see that the initial date of this post was in 2006: the benefit has come and gone, and I also no longer live in Minneapolis. Lived there for six years, but moved on. Sorry!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Serenaa
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Member # 44887

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When and why I first came to Scarleteen?

I came to Scarleteen about i think a year ago? because i found this site so useful since my boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship, and questions i needed to ask i couldnt ask anyone else, Or when my boyfriend and I would talk about sex.

What I was looking for when i came here?

Dry sex,what are the risks of that?
Anal Sex, Waxing your vagina, shaving.
and alot more.
Scarleteen has helped me so much, and gave me everything i needed to know. [Smile]


What you feel is unique about Scarleteen

The articles have so much information, it just caught my eye and everyday i'd read the articles that im interested which would help me in the future. Especially asking questions here that i knew i couldnt ask anyone else.

Why do I stick around?

I stick around because im still 15, and i need to know all this stuff about sex, safe sex, the vagina, dry sex, anal. All the things i do with my boyfriend or tend to do i come here and see what the risks are. This site has helped me so much in talking about sex.


How have I helped out?

I'm always willing to help people, when i can.

How has Scarleteen impacted me?

I'm stil the same person but i feel so much smarter, i just feel proud that i now know some things about sex, safe sex and so on.

Thank you so much Heather and Scarleteen! [Smile]

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WesLuck
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Member # 56822

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Heather, Djuna needs your help! Zie is really down on hirself at the moment, and feeling suicidal. Can you please reply on hir thread?

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.<a class="inlineAdmedialink" href="#">php</a>?/ubb/get_topic/f/25/t/000493/p/3.html#000101

[ 07-23-2012, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey Wes: first up, your email for your account bounces, so seems you might need to update it.

Second, we're on this, and thanks for caring (I've contacted Djuna privately, and zie's doing okay). But in the future, if you could please use the "notify moderator" option on every thread with something like this? That way, when I'm doing other work -- and there's always a ton -- all the mods for a given forum will get a notice and hop to.

Thanks.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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WesLuck
Activist
Member # 56822

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I think the email server I use for this board is down, or else I might not have used it enough.

Where is the Notify Moderator button? I'm pretty sure it is not Report Post. I can't find it on this particular page, so if you can tell me where it is that would be great. [Smile]

It's funny that anonymity normally makes people more uncaring, but on this site it's the opposite, supported strongly of course by the way the site is run, and the policies for anonymous names and no private message contact between forum users.

I think that sexuality-related discussions benefit greatly from anonymity, since a lot of the stuff talked about is not particularly "mainstream" (whatever that means [Razz] ).

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Alice
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

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The Notify Moderator button is indeed "Report Post." When you click that there'll be an area for you to explain why you're notifying us and that will be delivered to the email of whomever moderates that area of the board.

Having an active email address is very helpful in cases like these so please update your email, if you haven't already. If you're having trouble doing so, just go ahead and email me alice@scarleteen.com and I'll manually update it.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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WesLuck
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Member # 56822

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Can you check it again? I think it went inactive because I hadn't logged in for 60 days. I just logged in now and it didn't have any messages.
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Alice
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 28346

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Yep, just sent you a testing email.

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moonlight bouncing off water
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I just wanted to note, Wesluck, that while I'm not certain that Djuna want to be called "she" that zie probably doesn't want to be called "he" as ze does not identify as male,

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WesLuck
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Oops! I'm dreadfully sorry. Can the administrator edit my post so it has the best word? That would be great. Is "ze" or "zie" the best word to use in future?
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WesLuck
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I have asked the administrator/moderator to correct my post, as I think it's important. I did not wish to cause ze pain or discomfort, but I'll need to write correctly a few times to get over the error, and part of that is not getting confused by the above post. [Smile]
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WesLuck
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Well, I would like it if you corrected my above post, but if you are really busy and short-staffed then I understand if I can't do that just yet. Do you think you will be able to do that some time in the future?
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moonlight bouncing off water
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Wesluck why don't you just correct it? Or have you been timed out of doing that?

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WesLuck
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Yes, it timed out way back. I think you only get a few hours at most.
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WesLuck
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So, admin guys and gals and every other gender who is an admin on this forum, would you be able to change http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/14/t/000224/p/1.html#000015

?

That would be great if you could at some stage soon! [Smile]

[ 07-23-2012, 02:05 PM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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