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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Parents, Adults and Teens » very troubled teen

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Author Topic: very troubled teen
justwondering001
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Member # 27914

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hi-
I would like your evaluation of a very troubled young woman (just turned 17) whose lifestyle used to have me only worried but now i am truely terrified for her.

she currently lives in a verbally abusive home and was the subject of non-physical sexual abuse from a teacher in 8th grade, which culminated in a suicide attempt and hospitalization. she is now attending a special needs high school, which she rarely attends because of her habitual and almost drug-like dependence on chattin/meeting/having sex with men she meets online. this has been going on steadily for about 18mo and it has consumed her life. she specifically targets adult male "role models" for what she describes as "trauma re-enactment" and says that the sex is incidental. she arranges meetings with them in motels, and even allows them to take photographs. she is obsessed with growing older and feels tat she has to see as many men as possible before she turns 18. she has never had a steady boyfriend and she is not involved to any real extent in scholastic or extracurricular activities and views her sexual habits as an addiction that offers her relief from her emotional pain, which evidently is incessant. She is also a "cutter", and has been causing self-injury for the last 18mo. her legs/arms are scarred from cuts and burns.

she is highly intellegent and gifted, yet she is throwing her life away, almost knowingly. is there anyway out for her in this tragic story? she wants desparately to leave home and live with a more distance relative or friend, but i doubt this is the best course. What advice woulid you give her, her parents, or even her therapist, who knows all the details but is prohibited from sharing them with her parents.

Posts: 3 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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What is your connection to her?

It's hard for anyone to advise you on what you can do to help without knowing what your role in all this is.

In your previous post, you mentioned having a forty-something friend, so I'm not sure whether you are a peer of this girl, an adult, a family member, or what.

--------------------
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
justwondering001
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Member # 27914

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the 40-something friend of mine is one of the men she has "met". he told me her story and he is no longer seeing her, but is understandably concerned. her parents are clueless, but at some point, i wonder if it would even be good if they ever found out. perhaps asking for advice/opinions here was a bad idea, but i wanted some perspective.
Posts: 3 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Logic just asked that because it would make a difference in how one would answer.

To be frank, I don't see why this guy has any reason to be coincerned, since he was one of the people likely exploiting her.

With someone like this you aren't close to, in all honesty, the best bet would be to call your local department of children and family services and file a report. If her home isn't a suitable place for her, they could assist her in alternate living arrangements, as well as in getting some help AND some extra protections from folks like your "friend."

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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