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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » pregnant and scared

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Author Topic: pregnant and scared
rawrrr
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A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were have sex when our condom broke. He had definitely ejaculated inside of me and I knew that I was ovulating around that time (extremely regular cycles). I took plan B the next morning and thought nothing of the incident. I've also since started birth control pills (microgestin).

Period was, in theory, due to start last week. I was a week into the pills at that point so figured it may or may not actually come. Took a pregnancy test a day after I should have started. Extremely faint positive line. Took another the next day, same deal. Took a digital test, said pregnant. Took another brand of non-dig and was negative.

Boobs hurt, lower belly is crampy and bloated feeling. Vagina seems to be less lubricated than usual (tmi? sorry). I'm exhausted all the time.

At this point, I'm assuming I'm pregnant given the positive tests (unless there's any reason plan b + birth control pills could give a false positive?). I'm in no way ready to carry a child (25 years old, applying to grad school, poor) and my boyfriend is in the same boat--hence our use of protection and the plan b when the protection failed.

I'm only considering abortion at this point--I know what the other options are but they aren't ones that fit my lifestyle at this time. I've made an appointment with Planned Parenthood but they won't see me until I'm 6 weeks since my last period (I have a short 22 day cycle; I'm about 4 weeks now). In the mean time, I've been going back and forth on medical vs. surgical and I guess am looking for insight on that?

Thanks.

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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Hi Rawrrr,

The first thing they'll do at your appointment at the clinic is give you a pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy. if the result comes up positive, they'll then discuss your options with you.

The healthcare provider you see will also talk with you about the pros and cons of medical versus surgical abortion, and they'll be the best person to talk to about which one is best for you as they'll be able to give you specific advice based on your health, medical history, et cetera.


That said, here is some information:

All About Abortion

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Robin

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Rawrrr: I'm also happy to talk with you about the two options with abortion in advance of your appointment if you'd like to do that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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rawrrr
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Thanks.

I think my biggest concern is getting back to life as normal after the procedure. I'm scheduled to take the GREs (4.5 hr test) a week later and want to be as comfortable as possible at that point. I was leaning in the direction of medical for the at home/private aspect of it but the possibility of severe cramping and bleeding for weeks after are making me reconsider. Since it'd be early, a surgical seems less scary than I've heard from a friend who had it (she was 12+ weeks) but, so far, I haven't really found anything that seems to go into the after effects of that in terms of what to expect physically other than to say its usually shorter than a medical procedure (which makes it appealing to me).

Emotionally, I feel well prepared--I'm more stressed now at the idea of being pregnant than I am at the idea of an abortion. I just want it done and over with. I have a good support system (best friend has already offered to come take me to the appointment and then stay with me for a day or two if I need it; boyfriend is also wonderfully supportive but he's respecting my desire to have a girl there with me) in place.

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Heather
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Okay.

So, the after-time with a surgical is often quicker per feeling back to yourself than with a medical. With a surgical, you will generally feel pretty back-to-normal within just a couple of days.

That can happen with a medical too, but is a bit less likely.

Personally, I don't think of surgicals anytime up to the legal limit as being scary. By all means, once someone is into the second-trimester, you're adding, usually, a second day and something else to the works -- cervical dilators -- and, of course, getting "back to normal" is going to take longer, not because of the procedure, but just because a person has been pregnant for a longer period of time, and the body always has to shift in a lot of ways from being pregnant to being not-pregnant.

Also, if you want help looking into your options per clinics -- basically, if you want more than one option, should there be other options besides PP where you are -- just give a shout, happy to do that legwork for you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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rawrrr
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Thanks Heather.

I'd love help looking for other options--googling abortion clinics turns up all sorts of things that who knows if they're legit or not.

I'm in Boston-ish. Big plus if they'd do it before 6 weeks also (if for no other reason than that my boobs are absolutely killing me!)

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rawrrr
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also, do I continue taking my birth control in the mean time? I know I can't get anymore pregnant than I already am but in terms of preventing a lapse in protection after?
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Robin Lee
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Hi Rawrrr,

Heather is taking a little time off, so I hope you don't mind if I step in here? [Smile]

I'd be happy to help you see if there are other clinics. To narrow down the search, would you be comfortable posting your zipcode? If you're not comfortable posting that here, you can send it to robin at scarleteen dot com.

In terms of whether you should continue taking your birth control pill, I don't, off the top of my head, know the answer to that. I'll do some digging around and see what I can find out.

Know that you'll need to, regardless of whether you choose a medical or surgical abortion, abstain from genital sex for a couple of weeks after the procedure. So, continuity of protection from the pill isn't as essential as it might otherwise be.

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Robin

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rawrrr
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Thanks!

My zip code is 02134

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Robin Lee
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Hi Rawrrr,

I found a couple of clinics for you to start with. Neither of them makes clear on their site whether they will make an appointment before six weeks but that can be determined by calling them.


here are the links.

http://womenshealthservice.com/our-services/

http://www.abortion-clinic-boston.com/about-us.php

If neither of these works for you per the services they offer or where they're located, please let us know and we'll work to find something else.

How are you doing today mentally/emotionally?

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Robin

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rawrrr
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Thanks Robin, I'll look into those clinics to see if they can do it sooner.

Mentally/Emotionally, I'm doing okay still. I think my boyfriend is more distraught than I am and I feel bad about that. As I said before, it's the idea that I'm actually pregnant that's the most upsetting/disturbing/stressful to me. And really feeling like we did everything that we were supposed to do--we were using a condom that wasn't expired, that was kept in a box on my dresser, and it broke; I took Plan B the next day, well within the 72hr window and it failed. I really just want it done and over with as soon as possible.

My body just also doesn't feel good. I'm crampy. My boobs hurt. I'm bloated. I'm straight up exhausted all the time. I'm hungry but then get nauseous. Ughhhhhh

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Robin Lee
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Hi Rawrrr,

Good luck with those clinics. if you'd like, let us know how it goes.

I very much hear you on the frustration and disorientation that come with having done everything you could to prevent this from happening and having that not work.

Do you have any other support with this besides your boyfriend and talking to us here?

--------------------
Robin

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rawrrr
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My best friend (who I consider to be more like a sister than anything) is totally there for me with this. She's the one that will be accompanying me for the procedure. She's great and amazing and "gets it" so to speak.
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Robin Lee
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Yay! I'm so glad to hear you have that kind of support. Hoping that calling the clinics today yields results you're looking for.

--------------------
Robin

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rawrrr
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Ok, I had the medical procedure last Tuesday. I was exactly 6 weeks at the time, they told me that based on the ultrasound, it didn't look like there'd be much to pass and the process should be fairly quick.

After taking the second set of pills (the next morning after the first in the clinic--so about 18 hours), had horrible cramps and heavy bleeding as expected. By that evening (so Wednesday night), the bleeding/cramping had basically stopped. It returned Thursday afternoon and has been, by my definition, heavy with lots of small clots and moderate cramping.

I have a number to call if the bleeding gets heavy, which they defined as soaking through 2+ pads in less than an hour. I'm definitely not bleeding that much now but it's much heavier than I'm accustomed to (my period is 3-4 days of what amounts to heavy spotting) and I was under the impression that I probably wouldn't even bleed that much.

I'm assuming that this is just part of the process but any insight on if I should be concerned? Or anything I can be doing to speed the process along and just empty myself out for once and for all?

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Robin Lee
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Hi Rawrrr,

it sounds like this bleeding is making you uncomfortable and nervous, and I certainly understand you wanting to have this over and done with as soon as possible.


There's really nothing to do to speed this process along. if there were, I suspect the clinic would have told you.



Did the clinic give you a sense for how long you could expect bleeding to last?

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Robin

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rawrrr
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They had said that the average was 1-2 weeks but had given me the impression that based on being early in the pregnancy (6 weeks vs 7,8, or 9) and things generally seeming pretty un-developed on the ultrasound, that I could expect less than that.
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Robin Lee
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Nodding...Since they can't actually predict what your unique body will do, and since bleeding for one to two weeks is expected,it sounds as if you're still well within the limits of what is expected after a medical abortion. You do have the option of calling the clinic if you're concerned and need reassurance. You could call during regular hours, rather than calling the emergency number.

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Robin

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rawrrr
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Okay. So started back on the pill (I take microgestin Fe 1/20) the Friday following the procedure (so 3 days later), as that was when, based on my previous pack, I should start. The nurse that I saw at PP said that this is what I should do.

Just finished up my placebo week and never got my period. I've had my follow-up at PP two weeks after and everything seemed good; have also taken several pregnancy tests over the course of last week and, with exception of the first, they have all been very much negative. The first one I took was only faintly positive and I've since read that it's fairly normal for pregnancy tests to continue to be positive for up to 6 weeks following an abortion, particularly one in early pregnancy where hCG levels are so high. The next three tests I've taken have all been negative.

Obviously, I will likely follow up with my provider but, for my own peace of mind in the meanwhile, it's fairly safe to assume that I am not pregnant, right?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Yep.

I'd advise backing up pills with condoms, just as a general rule, and just because it sure sounds like you could use the peace of mind, but not because I see any reason to think you are now pregnant.

It can take a while for periods to get back on track after a termination, AND it can take a while for them to get on track when just starting or restarting the pill, too.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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