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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Very scared! Please help!

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Author Topic: Very scared! Please help!
Ridleylover0918
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So I had sex 19 days ago, six days after that was my ovulation day. We had protected sex, the condom didn't break and he didn't ejaculate inside me. I have been extremely panicked and stressed. My period is due in four days but my period is also irregular. Do you think that I have anything to worry about? I have noticed my discharge change. Last week it was thick and white, now it's more clear and watery. Does this mean anything? I have some cramping, and my breasts are somewhat tender. This usually happens before my period though. Thanks for the help/advice in advance!
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Patricia H
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Hi Ridleylover0918,

I'm not sure what you are asking about here. Could you be more specific as to what you are stressed out about, and how we can help you?

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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. - Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

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Ridleylover0918
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Well, I guess I'm asking is that is there a chance I could be pregnant? Also if stressing a lot could maybe make me think i have symptoms or make my period late?
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Carpe Diem
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Sounds to me like you used condoms as well as withdrawal for birth control and your period isn't late yet (you said it was due in 4 days) so I don't see what is making you panic.
Discharge changes throughout our cycles so that's nothing to worry about, and you mentioned you are experiencing your normal pre-menstrual symptoms.
All this put together says to me you have nothing to worry about per pregnancy, so are you aware of a certain reason why you're so freaked out?

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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I guess I'm just freaked out because if I were to be pregnant i wouldn't know what to do. My partner and I discussed how much stress I go through after having sex and decided to wait until I'm a bit older. I think mainly why I'm panicked is because I've been over thinking everything, and noticing every little change in my body since I had sex. Then I got around to googling symptoms and alot of pregnancy stuff came up.
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Carpe Diem
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Gotcha. I think it sounds like a wise decision to take any type of sex that could cause pregnancy off the table for now. Once you feel you have a firm grasp of the risks involved and are more secure in undertaking them then you can revisit the subject.
I think it's great that it sounds like you and your partner have an relationship where you can comfortably and openly discuss these things.

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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Thank you for helping me! I didn't have anyone other than my partner to discus it with. It means alot [Smile]
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Carpe Diem
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Your welcome [Smile]
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Ridleylover0918
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This morning I went to the bathroom and there was a bit of blood, so I think this is my period! Or hopefully it is..
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Molias
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Well, since you're expecting your period right now, that seems likely. =)
Do you have a good handle on proper condom use, or want to talk about other forms of birth control that might make you feel less stressed after sex? Also, if you're super-worried about pregnancy in general, it's ok to take the types of sex that are a pregnancy risk off the table for a while.

Because you talked about stress making your period late and about different types of discharge, I wanted to make sure you'd seen these articles:
Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

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Ridleylover0918
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Well I'm not on the pill but I think I'm going to go on it soon. I just don't really know how to bring it up to my parents that I want to be on it
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Carpe Diem
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Well, as a fellow Canadian (oh ya [Smile] ) I can say that if you are over 14 you can go to a clinic to access that sort of sexual health care and not need parental consent.
For example, when I was 14 I went to the Anne Johnston Health Station in Toronto (where I live) for emergency contraception which--along with several months of birth control pills and STI testing--they gave me free of charge. I'm not sure where in Canada you live but similar clinics with sex-positive environments are available throughout the country.
Regardless of that, however, how is your relationship with your parents like in general when it comes to discussing a variety of topics?

[ 07-05-2013, 09:38 PM: Message edited by: Carpe Diem ]

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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I'm from the maritimes, but my relationship with my parents are okay. I lived with my dad ever since I was eight, so I'm pretty comfortable talking about stuff like period supplies and stuff. We've talked a little bit before about birth control and he said that whenever I wanted to go on it, then we would go to my doctor and find out which kinds there are and all that stuff. I think my biggest problem is just how to bring it up. I don't really want to come out and say " I'm having sex and want birth control pills" I think that would be a bit awkward.
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Ridleylover0918
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And also I think he might want to bring it up with my step mother, which is something I'm very uncomfortable with.
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Carpe Diem
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Well, it seems like you and your dad already have a strong foundation for an open dialogue about stuff like your sexual health, since he already told you to let him know when you felt you wanted to start birth control.
It's too bad you don't feel comfortable with your step-mother being involved with the whole subject (which sucks, and I've had times in my life where I can relate to what you're saying. Plus, the whole thing is totally personal, which I completely empathize with).
What do you think would happen if you were to ask for a bit of discretion from your dad on the matter?

--------------------
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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I think he'd respect that and most likely just tell my step mother what I was doing rather than being there whenever I actually asked about the pill
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Carpe Diem
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Ok then, so at this point do you feel comfortable bringing up the subject with your dad?
Do you need any tips?
Or do you feel the best method is to go to a clinic where you can get what you need annonomosly?
Really any decision is perfectly alright and up to you.

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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I think I might need some tips on what to say to him
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Robin Lee
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Hi Ridleylover0918,

Well, since he's told you before that you could ask him to help when you wanted birth control, maybe you could start with that. You could ask him if you two could talk privately, then say something like:

"Hey Dad, remember when you said that I could talk to you when I wanted to start birth control? wel, I'm ready to find out about it. Can you help me make an appointment with the doctor?"

I'm a little unsure about what it is you don't want your step-mother to know. That is, are you wanting to not have to talk to her about it, or do you not want her to know at all? Depending on which one it is, do you feel like you need some help figuring out how to talk to your dad about that as well?

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Robin

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Carpe Diem
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Also, why not check out this article and see what you think? http://m.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/about_that_talk_with_your_parents

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Ridleylover0918
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I wouldn't mind her knowing but having the talk with her and my dad would be uncomfortable because we are not close at all. And the article gave me some good tips. Thanks for all the help [Smile]
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