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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » I need reasurrance

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Author Topic: I need reasurrance
cavp
Neophyte
Member # 106591

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Here is the deal. I've been dating with this girl for a few months. and things have gotten pretty phisical in the last week or so. I am rather informed on conception and such so I insited that we did not have intercourse unless I used a condom.

Last time we were in this situation I caved in if only for a second, (dry penis) and atempted to penetrate her. I came back to my senses before I did anything and returned my member to my pants. although there was a very brief contact.

after a while she sat on me (she had no panties) so there was my unzipped pants and boxer between us. I did manual sex on her, then ejaculated inside the boxers.

Here is where im freaking out. I was pretty sure there was no seminal fluid/vagina cotact as it only came out once and after I did what I described. also she was sitting on my hand the whole time she was on me.

Still according to some fertility cycles i have checked she was on her 17th day. that is considered pretty fertile still.

Question is. are there any risks involved in my situation? you can bet i will keep condom handy from now on

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Molias
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 101745

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Any time you have direct genital contact, there technically is a pregnancy risk; however, it sounds like the direct contact was pretty brief and didn't involve your ejaculate. So the pregnancy risk here is quite low.

Keep in mind, too, that any direct genital contact also carries the risk of STI transmission; if the two of you aren't up to date on your STI testing or haven't had a discussion about it, now is past time to make that happen.

And honestly, it sounds like you'd both benefit from taking a moment to talk about your expectations around sex, both in terms of protection and around having more of a conscious plan in mind for how to handle the types of sex you want to have. I think both of these articles could have some good jumping-off points for having that discussion with your partner:

When Sex "Just Happened" And How To Make It Happen Instead
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cavp
Neophyte
Member # 106591

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Thanks for the tips. I'm aware of the STI issue, but i'm clean and i'd be her first partner on that sense.

I guess we want the same thing! but i keep forgetting to keep condoms handy.

Thanks again for your assesment. I concur with everything you have said.

On another topic. how do you volunteer for the site? currently i'm coursing through med school and would love to be of use on this site

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi There,

Do you need any help figuring out how to remember to keep condoms around? Maybe this is something you and your partner can talk about and figure out together.

I wanted to also respond to your comment about being "clean". i think you mean that your STI test results have come back negative. Describing this as being "clean," implies that people with STIs are dirty, which is both inaccurate and insulting to folks who have STIs. So, when talking about not having STIs, either here or elsewhere, saying that a person has tested negative for STIs is much nicer and more accurate than saying that they're clean. [Smile]

If you go to the main page of our site: www.scarleteen.com you'll find our application to volunteer at the "volunteer with us" link.

--------------------
Robin

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cavp
Neophyte
Member # 106591

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Indeed it is a very valid point you make, in my native language i wouldnt use the equivalent expression. Blame it on pop culture I guess

On the condom issue, I didnt expect that situation to arise, because in the past i have always abstained from sex. But since this happened I will in fact keep a condom always handy.

Thanks for the replies! they have been more than thoughtful. and I appreciate them very much

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