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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Help me get over this scare :(

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Author Topic: Help me get over this scare :(
Mimiko
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Here goes, hello scarleteen!

I'm 16 and I can't seem to get over pregnancy scares. I'm a virgin and I've been scared since January, and I always re-read your posts to get this scare out of my mind which seems to help but it just suddenly returns [Frown] I don't know what to do about it anymore. I want to be able to return to the way I was before, it's been affecting me and I'm showing signs of OCD .
I have got to get away from wiki answers and yahoo answers [Frown]

So my question is, what can I do?

And has anyone, anybody in history who got pregnant by manual (fingering) and/or dry sex

Thank you!

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Recovering :)

Posts: 17 | From: Philippines | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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First off, have you read our Pregnancy Scared? article? You might find this one useful too: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

Secondly, what about making a promise to yourself that you'll try to stay away from wiki answers and yahoo answers? Maybe coming up with a list of things you can do to distract yourself when you want to look at those sites could be helpful. With the level of anxiety you have, it would also be a good idea to look into getting some counseling to help you with it as well. Is that an option for you?

In terms of the ways pregnancy happens, there's no record of every pregnancy ever and how it happened. But, as the Pregnancy Scared article states, pregnancy generally happens because of genital contact.

[ 03-28-2013, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Mimiko
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Dear Karybu,

Thank you! And yes, I've read every pregnancy related article on scarleteen [Smile]

And I promise to try my very best to get away from those sites, as for the counseling, I would like to but I live in a family where my actions are watched. Every move. So it's kind of hard to know who could I talk to that why I can't go to a counselor as much as I want to and instead, ive made researches on my own and surely, yahoo and wiki answers didnt help my anxiety and I ended up discovering scarleteen [Smile]

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Recovering :)

Posts: 17 | From: Philippines | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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I'm glad you've found the articles and information here helpful. [Smile]

Are you in school at all? Sometimes school counselors can be a good place to start, if your school or university has one. Unfortunately I am not at all familiar with the options for counseling or the healthcare system in the Philippines, but I can do some looking for you if you like.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Mimiko
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Unfortunately, it's summer time here so no school for me [Smile]

Oh! Just to be very sure, why do some sites state that when semen (not really from ejaculating if that helps) seeps through let's say, volleyball shorts and panties that there is a chance though unlikely and that it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg, but it still needs many helpers to break the corona right?

How tough is the corona actually? And by chance, can a super sperm break it on its own?

And let's say.. My scare happened on March 26 and for example ill ovulate on April 4-5, is there anyway that they can survive?


I know it sounds silly but but been doing some research, mostly from scarleteen and I think it's Kinda helping me [Smile]

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Recovering :)

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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I'd guess those sites are just being innacurate.

Let's not forget a human ejaculate contains millions of sperm cells and a load of extra liquid. If one cell could do the job that easilly we probably wouldn't have even needed to evolve genitals nor be producing so many cells. And you're right, getting through the corona radiata takes more than one sperm cell anyway... and also getting there is another matter. Fertilisation ain't no picnic! Unfortunately there's also no such thing as super sperm.

In terms of how long between ovulation and the sperm being in the body... that time period would likely be a little too long (but you never know).

But if your concerns are driven by anxiety answers from us about fertility could easilly never be enough to satisfy that anxiety which could be coming from somewhere deeper than being misinformed.

If school is closed do you think there's anywhere else you could seek help from? Would you like any help finding resources?

[ 03-30-2013, 07:55 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Mimiko
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Jacob,

Thank you for answering! It's a fortunate thing for me that there is no super sperm! [Smile]

As for the help, I've attempted really, but something always pulls me back, like what if they judge me or something I guess.

My mind has the tendency to over-think situations. Probably from reading from inaccurate websites before [Frown] and the stress that comes from my family, I just don't want to disappoint them and we are migrating. Ever since, I don't even know what to do with my life anymore!

But if ever I decide to ask for help, who do you think is a better choice, an ob or a physiologist ?

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Recovering :)

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Migrating sounds like it would be really stressful. To feel pressure from your family on top of that must be awful.

Do you have anyone you feel relaxed with, who you can turn to for support, like a friend etc?

It sounds like working on how you can improve relations with your family or how you're dealing with migration might help a lot with these pregnancy scares.

I'm also not sure what sort of practitioner I would recommend, it's probably something I don't know so much about.

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Mimiko
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My boyfriend is my best friend and only the two of us (besides scarleteen) knows about these problems. So I'll be away from him 30 days from now and that feeling where you know you know can at least get through the day because you can always talk to him will be gone. It's really tough for me [Frown]


I would want to talk to a girl who is experiencing or had some experiences regarding this matter. It's hard to open up to a family member as much as I would want to. And you can't easily find a friend that you're sure that she will not tell it to anyone (I've experienced those thing in the past wherein my friends talk about their friends' secrets behind their back and I just don't know how I can entrust my secret to them)

Thank you for listening to me, it really helps [Smile]

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Recovering :)

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Aw, this sounds really difficult Mimiko, I'm glad I'm able to help.

It takes time to build trust with new friends and moving places can only make it harder. I'm sorry too that you'll loose the ability to rely on your boyfriend for that support you need.

At the same time, you sound like you have held up remarkably well in a difficult situation so far, and you may surprise yourself with how resilient you are actually able to be. Not only that but although it takes time you can (and likely will!) make new friends which is it's own ongoing process.

Where are you moving to, by the way?

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Mimiko
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We are moving to Canada and the time difference is just hard to manage and although I'd like to make new friends I'm the shy type of person so it may take a while [Smile] [Frown]

And wow, I thought I was one of those worst cases! 4 months of researching and only relying on my period for reassurance and after my period the anxiety all goes back [Frown]

Do you know anyone here who can help me with an ovulation question? [Smile]

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Recovering :)

Posts: 17 | From: Philippines | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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