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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » What could this be? Please help

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Author Topic: What could this be? Please help
Jericho
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My girlfriend is having this white/clear discharges and having light abdominal pain her period isn't still due until maybe next week or 10 days or maybe an early period this time?

She had her period on Oct 2 and ended on 8
This just started on the 19th

We had mutual masturbation on the 12 and I'm pretty sure no semen or sperm went inside her or touched her.

Is this ovulation? is this normal?

[ 10-21-2012, 04:58 AM: Message edited by: Jericho ]

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey Jericho,

It just sounds like her period is coming in early, which can happen for almost no reason at all (human bodies are funky like that)... clear discharge is a common part of ovulation, as is the pain. Hopefully the pain isn't too much. I don't hear anything here that sounds like ill health or a major risk!

You're posting on her behalf here, I'm guessing she's concerned herself and you're just posting for her, which is great and supportive. At the same time it's possible, from what you've said that she's not been concerned and this has been just a worry of yours. If so, I think it's really cool you came here to find out, but I hope you've been wary of projecting this worry on her, because it is possible that through knowing her body she may have felt really comfortable with this early period, and it's really worth that being respected while you come here to as for answers. I can't really read which one it is from your question, but that is a common problem that might be an issue for you guys.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/honorably_discharged_a_guide_to_vaginal_secretions
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/on_the_rag_a_guide_to_menstruation

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Jericho
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Thank you so much for the reply [Smile]

She also said that her abdomen is a bit heavy maybe bloated?? is this also normal?

I'm really willing to support my girlfriend in anything :)And we're also abstaining from real sex even though it's hard hehe [Big Grin]

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey again Jericho,

Just before I answer you, your last sentence packs a few things it's really worth digging into...

At scarleteen, and I really believe in this, we aim to be inclusive and actually think of 'sex' as just anything people do to get themselves and each-other off. For different people that can mean different things and some acts, for them, can be more intimate than others. For some people the acts they prefer to do have enough significance for them to be called 'sex' whereas for others it's not the case. So using 'full-sex' to refer to anything is kind of unfair to anyone who doesn't want to do that thing and implies they're not experiencing full sex, and the full pleasure of sex... whereas for me the full pleasure of sex is being able to be what you want and just do the things you enjoy. And if you're having the sex you want to have and not having the sex you don't want to have, and you've found a way for this to be compatible with the right partner(s), that is already the best and fullest sex possible.

The second thing, which is connected to that and is important for me to bring up too (I told you that was a packed sentence!) is actually this whole idea of abstaining from sex. It seems to me that there might be plenty of pressures on you either from your wider communities or just your private intentions to not be having certain types of sex (what you've called 'full sex' and what I definitely don't). That's cool, and something you've every right to react to in yourself, but it can have some problematic implications... the fact is that your mind and body etc are all part of the same organism and while there are some reasons you feel like avoiding sexual acts and reasons that you want to do those same acts, it can be dangerous to explain them as an opposing battle, rather than a balance of factors which collaborate in you to make your decisions.

When you connect these two things together, as you have, it really is a dangerous combination. This is because it really changes your priorities from making sure you healthily enjoy your sex life to instead just doing a certain act eventually. We then have to imagine we would have the sensation of 'fullness' or grandeur when those acts finally happen. In reality, when this usually means penis-in-vagina sex in a heterosexual relationship, it can leave people waiting for it extremely dissatisfying and also mean that emphasis on the other sex you've been having until that point is really doesn't heed that those sorts of things could be what you'll come to enjoy the most.

(The other big point there again is that it excludes a lot of people to say that their sex isn't real, often because they're not straight.)

So I'd put it to you that if there are sorts of sex you don't feel ready for or comfortable with at all and what you are doing sexually feels good to you and your partner. Then in my definition you're already getting the most that anyone could get out of any sort of sex. It might change and even get better or less pleasurable when you feel like you want to try different things, but it doesn't make your sex any more or any less complete. It takes some work to be able to see sex that way and to work on making it good, without relying on some sex-act-of-the-future to be fully-satisfying (which isn't for certain) but I'd recommend it!

I hope that can be helpful! I can try to answer your question now:

So in short this time, feelings of bloated-ness aren't uncommon during ovulation.

The issue with it, and the other symptoms you mentions are mainly the discomfort they can cause... so really the question doesn't really need to be if those things are normal or not, but rather: "Does it hurt too much to bear? Is it a little bit uncomfortable? Is it ok? Or does it feel like a great time to take time off and be relaxed?".

You didn't speak yet about how your girlfriend is feeling, whether she is worried or not, etc? Depending on the quality of healthcare you have access to, if the answer is that she is feeling the pain and discomfort is unbearable then it is worth going to the doctors as they may be able to recommend ways to reduce the pain and feelings of bloatedness... on the other hand if this is just some minor pain and she's worried about what it means. Then like I said, it all sounds like it's part of ovulation and there's no other implications if so. But if she isn't worried about this at all, and given what we've said thus far, it could be cool to hand concerns about her body back over to her, as she may well feel like she's got a fine handle on it already.

This is a lot of information... but it sounds from how you've spoken about things that thinking about it could be really helpful for you. I hope you're ok, your girlfriends menstrual cycle does seem to be worrying you, but it's really great that you've been enquiring somewhere like here for advice. If you think knowing more about the biology there could help you feel more comfortable I really recommend the two articles above and also perhaps this article could be good to read (it's one of my favourites): With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

[ 10-21-2012, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Jericho
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Can't thank you enough for this [Smile]
It changes my view of sex a bit

It's just that I can't handle the fear of making my GF pregnant. The fear of having even a single drop of semen enter her really makes me paranoid. I'm just trying not to be scared again [Smile]

My girlfriend and I are really abstaining from having penis to vagina sex due to the fact that we know the risks of doing it and we have our limitations. We're saving it for marriage someday [Big Grin] and we're still college students( in asia college student are still pretty young I'm 18 and she's 19 [Big Grin] )

So We'll just stick to mutual masturbation for the time being to lower the risk and so that I won't be paranoid of making her pregnant [Smile]

I'm really really paranoid when the thought of my GF getting pregnant enters my mind I just can't handle it and even simple simple signs of her nearing her period scares me because what if this are pregnancy symptopms not period symptoms. those thoughts keep going through my mind and maybe I'm just not really ready for this kind of intimacy [Smile] And My GF is really ok about this she's just worried about my paranoia sometimes it gets to much

Thank you for your very very kind help

P.S
So all of this symptoms are normal? I can relax now?if so when do you think her period will come?

THANK YOU SO MUCH
THIS SITE HAS BEEN A REAL HELP [Big Grin]
THANK GOD I FOUND THIS SITE

[ 10-21-2012, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: Jericho ]

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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I'm glad it helped Jericho.

As per the symptoms etc... we actually don't answer pregnancy risk questions because the information for that is all already on our site. But when this isn't good enough, it is more often because the person asking has other issues so to continue trying to help them with 'facts' about pregnancy won't help them when they need to be talking about their own bodies.

(I also can't predict periods!)

In your case it's not even your own body, though I understand it's still a big deal! But anyway, I was really worried about how you are communicating this paranoia with her, because it sounds as though just as these thoughts feel invasive to you, they could be even more invasive to her. As they are your thoughts projected onto her body. So I'm glad that it sounds like you've spoken about this to her, and that she is rightfully concerned about your paranoia but maybe what you need to be doing is building on your own plans for dealing with yourself.

The first step might be to hold back from seeking reassurance about her body and pregnancy risks, including asking those questions here and leave that up to her.

The second might be to respond to how you're feeling about what you guys are doing sexually. Taking time off from doing stuff that is triggering this paranoia could be really good if you need the space to think about it and to relate to your girlfriend without this quite disproportionate (and potentially controlling) part of your relationship with her.

After that it's more your call to work on this part of yourself, therapy might help, time alone might help, reading, writing, drawing or whatever. But it's got to be working on yourself.

(PS, I don't care how old people are, readiness for sex varies vastly regardless of age. These other factors we're talking about are a much bigger deal than that in my opinion.)

[ 10-21-2012, 10:49 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Jericho
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Thank you again for your very helpful advice

My paranoia is slowly fading away. My GF and I have been talking about this for days now and being open to each other has made us feel better about our relationship and of course helping me clear my paranoia. It's just sometimes fear gets the better of me and I just need something to calm me down.

Don't worry sir everything is fine now

It's just that my nervousness returned when she felt her period pain earlier than expected. I thought it was pain from implantation and you know me being paranoid again [Frown]

But we talked and we got it settled she said everything's fine and there is nothing unusual about her abdominal pains and just right now she's feeling back pains too so her period really is near.

Everything's fine just a bit worried [Smile]
And Really thank you so much sir for the support

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Ok well. It's good that you feel calmed down but I should put to you that how you manage this paranoia and how you feel about this stuff is a long term process, not something that will be 'fine' immediately even if it feels that way. But also, even if it takes a while it's something about you that can and probably will slowly change, you're not stuck in stone. I'm glad that talking through it in your relationship is going well, it's a very good thing to have set up between you. All the best.
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Jericho
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Thank you sir [Smile]

If you mind me just asking 1 more question to help me calm down

So what she's feeling now is normal? This is not implantation pain? just normal pains before her period?

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Karybu
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Implantation, when it happens (and it isn't happening here because there hasn't been a risk of pregnancy) generally isn't noticeable in any way at all. It does indeed sound like she's just having some cramps before her period shows up, which happens and isn't anything to be concerned about.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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