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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Always paranoid I'm pregnant!

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Author Topic: Always paranoid I'm pregnant!
spongebubsgrannypants
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I'm 19 and haven't been sexually active for that long really. I lost my virginity at 16 in a previous relationship and the guy's infidelity showed up pretty soon after, so that first time was the only time. After it, I was convinced I was pregnant, even though we used a condom which didn't break or anything. I even had a test done at the doctors, which was of course negative. Now 3 years later I have a new relationship, and for the past 3 weeks I've been having sex with my partner. We've used condoms every time and none have broke or gave us any cause for concern. My periods are very irregular (think 32-34 day cycle) and I'm currently about a week late. I knew deep down it wasn't anything to freak out over, and I did a test today which was negative. I have anxiety on top of it all, and I just can't stand the thought of worrying every month! Even now after a negative test reading (from Clearblue, a brand which says it's over 99% accurate and can tell from 4 days before your period, so pretty reliable results) I'm still feeling a little on edge. I think I just need someone to say "no, you're not pregnant" haha.. goodness me, if my partner didn't know I'm neurotic he does now. I think I'm mainly anxious for my period so I can start the pill, which I obtained last week. I don't know.. used protection successfully, false pregnancy test, this is just my body flipping out, right? Hormones and stuff? Or just my worries making me feel sick and pushing my period back. Oh dear. Reassurance please! [Frown]
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BrightStar171
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A negative pregnancy test means you can be certain that you are not pregnant, especially if you didn't experience condom failure. If you're still feeling anxious you could certainly test again to put your mind at ease.

It sounds like it's a good idea for you to get the pill- if you back up your condom use with another form of birth control it should help you be less anxious.

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Redskies
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Hi, spongebubsgrannypants, and welcome to Scarleteen!

In addition to what BrightStar said, do you feel like you have good information already on how contraceptives work and how effective they are, and how your body works and any variations you might experience? There are a number of articles on this site with lots of information about that, if you'd like links to them, if you feel that that's something that might help you. Sometimes, not having good enough information can contribute to us worrying when we don't really need to.

You say that you have anxiety - for sure, that can also manifest in anxiety about possible pregnancy. Have you/are you receiving treatment/help for your anxiety?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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spongebubsgrannypants
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I've always thought I'm quite clued up on contraceptives, I've researched if not all then most methods and also read the articles on this site. I'm not sure what the problem is, why I continuously expect the worst for no reason. I saw my doctor about my anxiety a year or so ago and spent a bit of time on medication but I didn't like being on tablets and didn't continue it. It's probably something I should look into again though, to save my sanity
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Robin Lee
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Hi spongebubsgrannypants,

As someone who used to have really long cycles, I can sympathise personally on the "when the heck is my period going to arrive" thought process.

Given what you know about contraceptives, do you think that going on the pill will give you more peace of mind? Using the birth control pill *and* condoms gives you a really high level of protection. When engaging in sexual activities that could lead to pregnancy, no contraception is 100%, but that combination is pretty darn close.

It sounds like it might also be worth checking back in with your doctor about the anxiety. Know that you can share your uncertainties about taking medication for it and see what your doctor has to say about that.

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Robin

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Redskies
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"Continuously expect the worst" - yep, that's one of those not-fun things anxiety can do to us.

Can I just check in with you about something? It sounds like the first relationship where you had intercourse became something not-positive pretty soon after that intercourse. Do you mind if I ask if the intercourse you had felt like a positive and supported experience at the time?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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spongebubsgrannypants
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Robin - the pill should really help my mind but I've got concerns that even two methods of birth control won't be enough to stop me worrying every month [Frown]

Red - it wasn't really. He didn't force me into it but I was so uncomfortable and shy in his company, I hardly spoke to him or truly knew him. I didn't really think about whether I actually wanted to have sex or not - it hadn't even crossed my mind. Overall it was a pretty bad relationship and experience, I was 16, knew a lot less than I do now, and thought I was in love. I just remember feeling bad after that first time, being down, but I never thought it was the act that made me feel that way

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Redskies
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Mhm. That doesn't sound like a great experience all round.

Sometimes, not feeling completely comfortable with or ready for a particular kind of sex can contribute to or even outright cause anxieties or worries around it, including pregnancy worries. If we just feel generally unsure of doing that with out body, or if it's more intimacy than we feel ready for generally or with that person, or if we don't feel like we have enough information or opportunity to protect ourself from unwanted pregnancy or STIs, or if we don't feel properly secure or respected - those sorts of things can make us feel unsure or not quite in charge of our own body, and sometimes, that can contribute to anxiety.

You say that you have some anxiety anyway, so this is just a possibility.

Would it be helpful to you or would you like to talk about that experience more?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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spongebubsgrannypants
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I really do feel my discomfort and unhappiness could have led to the anxiety those years ago, but it's happening again and the relationship I have now is great. I have a great, understanding partner who encourages me to go at my own pace, and I feel ready for these things now. Yet I still worry! Even now after that negative test I'm still paranoid. I just keep thinking where is my period, why isn't it here. I can't stop thinking that maybe the test was negative because I'd be so early along, but the test is designed to detect the pregnancy hormone even before your period is due. But I could only have gotten pregnant in the last 4 weeks. I don't know, I think I'm over-thinking it all slightly, haha. I think I'll just panic until I get my period, but the panicking is delaying it. I can't win either way really. Just wish it would come already [Frown]
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Onionpie
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Hi spongebubsgrannypants (great name, by the way!) I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this and I missed it, but I was wondering if you are currently getting any help/treatment for your anxiety? A lot of people find that sex/sexuality is a big trigger for their anxieties, and seeing a counsellor really helps them work out their fears around this a whole lot. So if you aren't currently seeing a counsellor, I'd really recommend you look into that. And if you already are, then I think this is definitely something your counsellor should hear about, as they'll be able to help you learn to cope with your anxiety around all of this. What do you think; does that sound like something that would help you with this?
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spongebubsgrannypants
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It's definitely something I would consider, but I work nights and have irregular shifts (so, not always the same day off every week etc) so I'm not sure how I could work around it. Planning sessions would be very difficult. I definitely need to do something though, somehow
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Robin Lee
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Hi There,

If you feel as if using two reliable methods of birth control might not alleviate your fears, then that's an excellent indicator that it's good to handle this on the anxiety level.

Your work schedule doesn't necessarily make counselling a no-go. Many counsllors and counselling services are able to accomodate people with different schedules, and that's something you could talk to them about right off the bat.

It sounds too like it might be a good idea to take a break from sexual activity that can lead to pregnancy, since even with the condoms you're still having this high level of anxiety.

What do you think?

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Robin

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spongebubsgrannypants
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It's definitely something I would consider, but I work nights and have irregular shifts (so, not always the same day off every week etc) so I'm not sure how I could work around it. Planning sessions would be very difficult. I definitely need to do something though, somehow
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Robin Lee
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How about starting then with seing your doctor? That's only one appointment you have to schedule, and you can discuss your anxiety then.

And again, what do you think about changing things up with your sexual activity so that there's lesss anxiety around pregnancy risks? Do you think that would help?

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Robin

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spongebubsgrannypants
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It's definitely something I would consider, but I work nights and have irregular shifts (so, not always the same day off every week etc) so I'm not sure how I could work around it. Planning sessions would be very difficult. I definitely need to do something though, somehow
Posts: 7 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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