My boyfriend has a 4-year old son with an ex-girlfriend of his. He doesn't get to see him much, but when he does he always invites me to come with them when they go out and do things together. I love my boyfriend and his child, but I don't quite know how to act when it comes to his son. His child's mother immensely dislikes me and I don't want to upset her more by trying to "be a mother" to her son. When I'm with my boyfriend and his son I try and be as involved in what they're doing as possible, but I'm always a bit unsure as to how I'm supposed to act with him. My boyfriend always tells me I'll make a perfect step-mom to his child one day, but up until that is official and legal, where are the points where I should step in or step back when it comes to his son?
Posts: 63 | From: America | Registered: Jul 2010
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Hi Alaskagirl. I'm afraid we can't really give you a concrete answer around this, as it's going to be really individual. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this and asked him how involved he thinks you should be, and what kind of situations he'd prefer you step away? It's also of course up to you, and how involved you're comfortable being. If there are some situations where you feel you'd just be overstepping, let your boyfriend know and the two of you can make sure to work around those situations so you don't feel uncomfortable. Does that sound good to you? Do you want any help figuring out how to talk to your boyfriend about this?
Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008
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