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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » I guess it could be considered anal? Could I get pregnant from this?

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Author Topic: I guess it could be considered anal? Could I get pregnant from this?
cherishbaby
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My bf and I were making out in the car, and at one point, he takes out his penis and starts stroking it with the tips of his fingers. He did not actually touch the head of his penis though. Anyway, he never touched my vagina and my jeans NEVER came off, but at one point he put a hand down the back of my jeans and squeezed my left butt cheek ( but his hand never touched my butt crack or inside my butt crack, it was strictly just my left butt cheek). Now I'm freaking out that any microscopic amount of pre-ejaculation could have touched my butt cheek, slid down and made me pregnant. Im pretty sure he touched his hand on the seat or even on the outside of my jeans first since he only touched his penis with the tips of his fingers. Am I thinking too hard and being paranoid or is it true?

I have read the other articles on this site, but I am still wondering because it said you need direct semen-to-genital contact and I don't know if one can consider touching my butt cheek with a hand that could have had a microscopic amount of pre-ejaculation on the tips of the fingers as that type of contact. Help please? It also was not in the example scenarios on ways that you cannot get pregnant on the site.

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Heather
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cherishbaby: I'm concerned that you and your boyfriend keep choosing to engage in things you obviously really do not feel okay about after you're finished with them.

As we've talked with you about before, when your pants are on and have not come off, and your partner hasn't done anything INSIDE your pants that involves direct contact your genitals, there are not risks of pregnancy posed. I do not see these risks here.

But what I DO see is a repeated pattern of engaging in things I think you know you can't handle at this point. So, since you keep coming here with this, I think the only truly productive conversation we could have at this point, and the very best way we could earnestly help you, is to help you sort out how to make different choices right now so you don't keep landing in this spot feeling this way, okay?

Up for that?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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But that's the thing, his hand DID go inside my pants and touched my buttcheek. Is there still any risk after he touched his penis?

And yes, I am up for that. The other night, I thought he was going to leave me when I told him again I didn't want to do things, and he got angry and defensive and said he could "always find another girl" and he doesn't "care if he has to do that". That hurt beyond belief that I could lose him because I'm not satisfying his needs.

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Heather
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You buttocks are not your genitals. When we're talking about genitals, we're talking about your vulva, vagina, perineum or anus.

I'm really glad you're willing to talk more about the bigger stuff here. I certainly would prefer you not keep feeling like you have been, and I'm sure you would, too. But that's not likely to change if we just perpetuate a cycle of trying to manage your panic after-the-fact.

The way your boyfriend was talking about this and treating this the other night: would you say that's typical? Has that kind of talk and pressuring been going on before now?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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It's only gotten typical in the last month or so of our relationship. It's like he expects it of me, and my psychologist said I should try and refrain from that type of activity. So when I tell him that, I always feel like I'm put in a difficult spot because I don't want to (I find myself happier when I don't get scared and I can honestly live without that type of sexual contact) but he gets so upset and asks why I can't give him that and that I make him feel like he "has no game".
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Heather
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Okay. So, one BIG thing that's likely here is that some of this worry and anxiety is happening, or betting worse, because this kind of pressure is NOT indicative of a healthy sexual relationship. And you've clearly internalized it, like when you say, "That hurt beyond belief that I could lose him because I'm not satisfying his needs."

In other words, you're taking in the pressure and have been convinced this is about you and something you're not doing. Unfortunately, this is what happens when someone has been coerced: they effectively believe the pitch of the person doing the coercing.

By all means, if your boyfriend wants a sexual relationship right now, you're not a sound person for him to seek that out with, because it's very clearly not right for you. In fact, it obviously stands counter to your mental health, and that's big, serious stuff.

But it's then on HIM to make a choice to choose to instead seek out a partner who does want that now and can handle that, not to pressure you with threats to do so. That's unhealthy and emotionally abusive.

Too, sex shouldn't be something anyone does in a healthy relationship to try and keep a partner. That's just not what healthy sexual relationships are about.

Lastly, it may be that you could be involved with someone who wants a relationship with you that does include sex, but recognizes that right now, that's not an option for you and is counter to your mental health (and also isn't likely to be something where you feel good, which is part of the deal when we're engaging in sex of any kind with someone else vs. masturbating or looking to do so). With someone who wanted a relationship that was not JUST sexual, they could understand and respect that, and may well choose to hold off on sex because they feel they enjoy their bigger relationship with you enough that that isn't a big deal. They also may care about you enough not to try and push for what they want at your expense, or to coerce you into sex.

But this doesn't sound like someone like that at all.

Know what I mean?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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Yeah, i know what you're saying. As we speak, he and I just got into an argument.

My boyfriend told me today that my best friend came by his work to buy food on her break at school (he works at a fast food restaurant near me and my best friend's university) while she was working on a project. I asked him how his day at work was, and that i hope he had a good day today and he texted and said:

"____ came by work to buy food. I asked her if you were with her, and don't get mad but I wish I could f*ck her. It's not like i will so don't get all mad"

then i replied saying "Okay, I found that very disrespectful. I will just talk to you some other day and leave you to think about that"

and then he replies saying "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so sensitive to that stuff. Actually don't even bother talking to me any day, I'm fine".

Am I overreacting? I find this so utterly disrespectful to say that to his GIRLFRIEND and then twist it around on me like i'm the one that's psycho. Feedback please?

I hate how EVERY TIME i get upset at something, he always makes me feel like it's my fault and how he always twists it around on me. And it gets to a point of where i never know if I'm just overreacting and then he makes me be the one to crawl back. This is so frustrating.

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moonlight bouncing off water
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I agree with Heather that this sounds like an incredibly unsound relationship and the issue you just mentioned furthers my conviction that that is true.

You're right, texting you that was an incredible rude, careless and insensitive thing that he did. Not only was the text incredibly rude, it really has no place in a relationship if you don't want it to be. Furthermore his conduct after was totally unfair.

You are not over-reacting, this is a situation created by him, not you. You say he always makes you go crawling back, how would you feel about not doing this that time, how would you feel about not contacting him again?

This relationship dynamic is unhealthy, and this guy doesn't seem like he would put any work in to get it to where it needs to get to be healthy.

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

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WesLuck
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You deserve better, and know that there *are* people out there who will respect your wishes and your boundaries, but you need to value yourself highly and end this unsuitable and unhealthy relationship in the safest and healthiest way possible. In your heart of hearts, does he really make you feel good? My guess, based on what you've written, is that he doesn't. You need to take it from there, but know that you are totally worth it and there are plenty of kind, sensitive and caring people out there! [Smile]

[ 02-07-2012, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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Heather
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cherishbaby, sorry to have dropped out of our conversation the other day, I lost internet here Sunday and just got it back. So, I'm trying to catch up.

That excahnge you described? It's a very typical dynamic in abusive or controlling relationships. That thing where you say "EVERY TIME i [express] upset at something [he has done], he always makes me feel like it's my fault and how he always twists it around on me. And it gets to a point of where i never know if I'm just overreacting and then he makes me be the one to crawl back. This is so frustrating."

There's a term for that, and it's called "gaslighting." This article does a decent job talking about that: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted

In a word, gaslighting is when someone does exactly this: they refuse responsibility for their own behavior -- after all, he chose to text what he did, you expressed a very diplomatic, calm upset without any drama or unhealthy dynamics, and he refused to deal with what you were voicing -- and try to (or succeed at) flip it around so the person voicing the upset or objection feels like it's their fault, so that person doesn't have to take responsibility. It is a very, very effective way to manipulate or control people.

Like I said earlier, you being in an unhealthy relationship makes a LOT of sense of your fears you have been having to me, for a lot of reasons. Even if some of those fears are about underlying anxiety, they're actually very valid in this context. For instance, becoming pregnant when we don't want to is scary already, but becoming so in the context of coerced sex and an unhealthy, controlling relationship is even scarier, because a pregnancy can really tie us - and then, potentially, a kid, too -- to that unhealthy person and relationship. Also, I suspect you not feeling right around sex probably has way more to do with the pressuring and coercion than pregnancy. It makes sense NOT to feel right about sex that is forced or coerced: not feeling right is the cue our hearts and minds are trying to give us that we are not safe and need to try and get away.

[ 02-07-2012, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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I'm sorry i dropped out of this conversation as well for a few days. I had midterms this last week and kind of just refused to let myself be distracted with the internet. I see what you all are saying. As for an update, he apologized repeatedly after. Keep leaving boundless text messages, voicemails, telling me how sorry he was and how he didn't think before he texted that and he never meant it and by saying that, he only meant to say my best friend was "pretty". I called him a few nights ago, and I ended the relationship. He was not very happy about it, and still continues to make numerous phone calls and text messages to talk to him. Sometimes, I can see the "gaslighting" theory in play when he text messages me saying "So what? You're just going to end things like this? Not talk about it? Whos overreacting now. You stress me out" and it's really not something I need. Of course, I find it very difficult because he was part of my daily routine, but all I tell myself is that if this is the price to pay to get rid of my anxiety and not be scared between periods, it's well worth it. I just didn't realize how abusive it was beginning to get. Of course, I just scratched the surface here in the discussions about how he would act towards me, but of course, it gets much worse than that and that is what scared me; the fact that you all could see how abusive it was getting with just 2 or 3 stories.

I want to thank you all, especially Heather, for your support. I have honestly been on Yahoo Answers and have received such negativity for my anxiety when all I was seeking was knowledge and reassurance. I'm very happy you created this website; it's like a support group to gain more knowledge about sex and to talk to people who understand. Thank you [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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Yay! What a strong, decisive way to take care of yourself. I can imagine it is tough, since being with him was such a part of your routine. It's natural to have regrets or feel bad in general. Just remember that you're taking care of yourself and having someone in your life who's not willing to help you with your anxiety and who is contrinbuting to it isn't part of tthis kind of self-care. No one needs to deal with that! [Smile]

Again, yay for you for taking such a big step.

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Robin

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Robin Lee
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For many women the Pill is effective within seven days, sometimes fewer. To be on the safe side we do recommend using a backup method for an entire cycle.

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Robin

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cherishbaby
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I'm so sorry to be posting another post on here, but I just did not know where else to post.

About 2 days ago (feb 11), my now exbf and I decided to meet up to give each other back our things (things I had left at his place, things he had left at mine when he would come over and watch movies, etc). My car has currently been at a Honda dealership because there was something wrong with it. So i told him he could just come over and pick up his things. I didn't want him in my house so I went outside to give him his things in his car. I went inside his car to get my things, and he just started driving off. I started freaking out and asking him where we were going and he said we were going to coffee, but he drove to a remote area under a local bridge and got me into the backseat. He went on top of me and pretended to thrust into me/rubbed his penis on my vagina BUT HIS SWEATPANTS AND UNDERWEAR WERE STILL ON AND MY LEGGINGS AND UNDERWEAR WERE STILL ON COMPLETELY. WE WERE BOTH FULLY CLOTHED. At another point right after, he got me lying on my back and he was on top straddling me right below my breasts, aka nowhere near my lower half of my body. He kind of shoved his penis into my mouth and ejaculated on my face and partially on the top of my bra and my shoulder. I was fully clothed the entire time. He My leggings NEVER came off and he NEVER fingered me. He just rubbed my vagina on the OUTSIDE of my leggings and underwear.

I know there is no risk of pregnancy due to the fact he did not ejaculate anywhere near my vagina and the fact that my clothes were completely on validates that. However, I just feel so confused right now. I repeatedly said no and tried to get him off, i HONESTLY did, but he literally was on top of me, straddling me and I could not get him off. I would try pushing his hands away, and the only thing he ever said was "You like it rough, huh? Remember, no means yes". When he finished i just got out of the car, while he kept offering to take me home, and i just told him to stay away from me. I called my best friend and asked her to pick me up and told her i didn't want to talk about it. I feel so angry, and i feel so disrespected. I know I'm being a baby about it, but I just didn't know where else to talk about it without my therapist seeing my face or anyone else knowing it was my story. I just needed input, please?

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Robin Lee
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You're not being a baby about this. This guy assaulted you! You said no and he didn't listen; that's assault.

I am very sorry this happened to you.

You're not the one who did something wrong. Do you have friends you trust with whom you can share this? You shouldn't have to go through it alone.

Here's some reading material when you're ready for it, and please let us know what we can do to support you.

Blinders Off:Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

Dealing With Rape

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Robin

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Heather
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I also want to check in to make sure that you are now safely away fro, this person and able to stay away.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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Yes, I am away from him now. I know he is incredibly upset with me for taking sexual activity away from him and then breaking up with him but I felt like his true colors started coming out when the sexual stuff was taken out of the picture. I mean, I'm a person. My emotional and mental needs have to be dealt with first, and I have the right to say no. He told me that I owed him "my body" because we'd been together for almost 8 months. I don't agree with his point of view. Now I'm stressing until my next period.

My next period should come in about a week and a half and all I've thought about everything he and I have done since my last period (I wrote down every detail after each incident on my iPhone notes so I can refer back and calm myself down). Since my last period, all he's done is finger me through my leggings after touching his penis a few times with his fingertips (maybe he got precum on them and then fingered me through my leggings) but I'm sure he would have touched something else in the car or my back, thigh or arm beforehand. That, and when he ejaculated on my face, top of my right breast and shoulder when I was lying on my back in his car when he straddled me (refer back to story up there in the discussion). I guess I just got nervous because I read on a forum on the Internet that if I was really wet and my leggings and underwear got moist, then sperm could swim through from the precum through my leggings. Is that true??? And when he ejaculated on my face and shoulder and top of my boob, is there any way ejaculation could have flown backwards through air or gravity and land on my leggings? All times ALL my clothes were completely on and he has never directly touched my vagina since my last period. I'm just nervous about what I read on an Internet forum. Is that true? :/

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WesLuck
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Gee, what an absolutely horrible person!
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cherishbaby
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I'm sorry for asking again, but it's just that I read somewhere on the internet that clothing is very porous and it can very well go through clothing. I am just very nervous right now reading all these different forums on the internet. Please help?!?!
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September
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Yes, but what happens is that fabric soaks up fluids. And sperm need the environment of the ejaculatory fluid to travel in. So once that gets soaked up by the fabric, they are stuck and can't go anywhere.

But also, looking back at your post, we are also not talking about him ejaculating on your genital area, but about him touching you with possible traces of precum on his hands? If so, we're talking about even less fluid to begin with, not to mention that there is no risk from transferring pre-ejaculate that way, anyway.

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Johanna
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cherishbaby
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Thank you for cancelling that worry out of my mind. But when he was straddling me while I was lying on my back (sorry for the detail, tmi), he ejaculated onto my bra, shoulder of my jacket and on my face, is there any way the sperm and semen could have been shot and splashed backwards around him or underneath him and onto my vaginal area on top of my leggings (i was wearing them)? That's the only thing left that I'm worried about. I think what made me wake up and worry this morning was that I was possibly ovulating that day or the day before. That, and now that my bf and I broke up, it scares me to think that if I got pregnant, he's leaving for India in 2 weeks and we're broken up (anxiety disorder). My younger sister (yes, I asked a 15 year old for advice; in my defense, my younger sister is a very smart 15 year old! haha) said that there is no way in hell that sperm could have flown around his torso/body all the way down to my vaginal area, and even if it had gone under the space between my ribs and his body (he wasn't completely crushing me) it would have hit my tank top first, and i checked my tank top, and there was no trace of ejaculation. Are there any risks posed?

...I really do need to get off wikianswers and places like that =/

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Robin Lee
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No, there are no pregnancy risks posed by any of what you describe.

I would like to ask you something, though. You went through something (your ex attacking you) that was very traumatic. It is very easy sometimes to substitute one anxiety for another. How are you feeling emotionally after the assault? Have you been able to get support from friends and family?

It sounds like the wiki answers is making you more anxious. Can you make it a self-care goal to stay off of there?

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Robin

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cherishbaby
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I still haven't told anybody. I refuse to tell my family because they're a very traditional Filipino family, and they would either disown me or kick me out of my house i was engaging in any type of sexual activity (they did not know I had a boyfriend this entire time; they don't want me to have a boyfriend until I am 25 - the only reason my younger sister told me advice was because I complained about a "friend" who didn't know if she was pregnant or not), and I don't know how my friends will react. It bothers me a lot. I feel like someone took the trust I invested in them and shattered it. I feel like someone did not respect my needs and issues and still decided to do what they wanted, and that's what hurts the most is that i thought he would have at least respected me enough and cared for me enough as a person not to do that.
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cherishbaby
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What do you guys think of my anxiety? From your point of views, where do you think it is stemming from?
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Saffron Raymie
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Assault isn't sexual activity, it's assault. Even before when he was guilt tripping you into doing what he said? That was abuse, not sex. Sex is something people do together, willingly and with free choice.

What you're saying about trust there is very common for an abuse survivor, and very understandable. We're here to talk as long as you need.

Would you like a councellor to talk to about the tramua you've been through recently? I can have a look what there is in your area if you'd like to post your postal or zip code. If you feel more comfortable, you can email it to me at raeATscarleteenDOTcom.

About your anxiety, I'd agree with what Heather said above:

"Like I said earlier, you being in an unhealthy relationship makes a LOT of sense of your fears you have been having to me, for a lot of reasons. Even if some of those fears are about underlying anxiety, they're actually very valid in this context. For instance, becoming pregnant when we don't want to is scary already, but becoming so in the context of coerced sex and an unhealthy, controlling relationship is even scarier, because a pregnancy can really tie us - and then, potentially, a kid, too -- to that unhealthy person and relationship. Also, I suspect you not feeling right around sex probably has way more to do with the pressuring and coercion than pregnancy. It makes sense NOT to feel right about sex that is forced or coerced: not feeling right is the cue our hearts and minds are trying to give us that we are not safe and need to try and get away."

Being in a coercive, unhealthy relationship and then being assaulted is likely where your anxiety around pregnancy comes from. It's common for sexual abuse suvivors to feel so traumatised that they feel they have no control over their bodies. The abuse you've been through may feel so traumatizing that those feelings are attaching themselves to impossible situations involving pregnancy. Even through you're now staying away from this person, what you've been through is very stressful, and it's so common to feel stressed and panicked after sexual abuse. It's likely that these feelings are just coming out and presenting themselves as impossible pregnancy scares.

[ 02-16-2012, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Saffron Reimi ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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cherishbaby
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My ex bf just texted me last night, and said this.

We had gotten into an argument on valentines day because I didn't want to see him because we had already broken up. Here is how the conversation went on text 2 days later:


Him: Sorry, just wanted to let you know you've been replaced.

Me: What? In that little time, you replaced me? You don't mean that, you're just mad.

Him: No, I did. I can and I did. I have 3 new girls I'm talking to right now.

Me: So what, we get into an argument and break up because of YOUR wrongdoing and you go running to them? You're just angry at me right now.

Him: No. That's how it is. End of discussion. Nothing to talk about.

Me: Well, how could you replace me in such little time? Thanks.

Him: If I had the money and time, I'd f**k a different girl every night. That's how I am.

Me: You're just being this mean because you're lashing out at me. You're only mean when you're mad. You're mad because I walked out of the car on you because you knew I got upset with you. You abused me. Emotionally. Physically. Stay away from me. Don't text me again.

Him: First off I'm not mad. I'm never mad. Just not feeling it. I don't care. And I never abused you. I treated you like a princess. It's your fault youre getting hell for ******* up.

Me: We were great up until the last month. Your true colours came out. I'm just in shock.

Him: Yeah, and you lose the feeling just like that. I did, and that's how I feel.

Me: Whatever.

Him: Why should i want to? I wanted pussy and you never gave it to me.

Me: 8 months and that's all you've been trying to work for?

Him: I don't mean to sound rude, but yeah. I'm surprised I even stayed that long. It's always your effin way when you don't want to do anything. If you weren't so pretty, you wouldn't have been worth waiting so long. You're lucky I even went for a Filipino. All of you look like nannies. If you weren't so light-skinned and look like a half-mixed girl, I wouldn't have even given you the time of day. Why did you always expect so much?

Me: First off, don't you dare insult my culture and ethnicity. We are good people, and you have no right to say that. I don't disrespect the Indian culture, so grow up. And second, i actually try and have fun without doing anything.

Him: How are we going to have fun without doing anything?

Me: Seriously?

Him: You started getting mad when I would ditch you on plans and check out other girls. I can hit on whoever I want and you shouldn't be so sensitive. Can't deal with your bs. Like that time i told you I wanted to fuckk your friend Sarah after she came to my work to get food. I still wanted you, but you got mad at that. Didn't know I wasn't allowed to speak my mind. You shouldn't get mad if your friends are hot.

Me: Okay, first thing. I will NEVER belittle the beauty of my friends. If they are beautiful, pretty, hot, cute, whatever, I accept it and actually elaborate on the subject because I'm not gonna take away the fact if they're beautiful. But you crossed a line. You don't tell the girl you're seeing that you wanna f**k one of her best friends.

Him: Don't give me that shit. I never married you.

Me: Don't go all ninth grade on me. We were dating.

Him: Don't give a fuckk, didn't mean shit. I wanted pussy, you were being selfish. You wouldn't even see me on valentines day, and you walked out of the car and acted like a bitch after we fooled around.

Me: BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO. I'm not a selfish person. I'm a caring person. I get angry because I know how a woman should be treated, and it should at least be with respect.

Him: I do respect you. You're just annoying. Don't wanna work it out. It's over like you said, but if you want friends with benefits, I'm down. You call me and I'll be there if you need something, you be there if I call you and need something, but that's it.

Me: No. When you decide to actually become a normal human being and have a normal mentality towards people, you give me a call. Your mother raised you better than this. Go back and ask her for a few more tips. This is how you were in high school? No wonder your longest relationship was 4 months. You complained about all the dysfunction with the girl. No, we're not the one with the problem. You're the one with the dysfunctional problem.

Him: Call me or text me if you wanna get fingered or get eaten out, cool? That's all I wanted from you was sex. That's what i still want. But you're so selfish you can't think about anyone's needs but your own.

And that was it. I feel so betrayed, so lied to. I couldn't sleep last night and I'm so angry, sad and confused at the same time. I start crying at the thought of everything he said, I feel so disrespected and I feel so degraded and belittled and I can't even describe it and fathom how someone could be so mean because i refused to see him on valentines day. Opinions please?

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Heather
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I don't think you need anyone to tell you how horribly abusive this was. It's clear you know. And of course you feel like you're feeling.

That said, in looking at this, I see you handled it really well. You called it out. You held your lines. You were, in my book, a totally righteous badass with this, and I hope you can feel good about that. That's a big, big deal. It's also really hard to do in this kind of exchange.

I'd first suggest you do yourself a favor and block his number, okay? I don't think you probably want to have another exchange like this with him, or leave yourself open to this again, yeah?

Can you also maybe recognize that the person who is small here isn't you? Look at how he's talking and what's he's saying. Look at how you are and what you're saying. I think it's pretty clear the person who is behaving in a way that belittles their value as a person isn't you, it's him.

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Heather
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Also? If it's helpful, I think it's very telling that one of the themes of what he's saying is that your only value to him is or was sexual: that all you're for is sex. Because when you really look at that, and that way he's talking, I think what he's actually making clear is that sex is all HE has to give.

In other words, I think what he was saying was about you is much more about him and his limitations or limited value, not yours.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Saffron Raymie
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Wow, Cherishbaby; I agree with Heather. You did awesome with that!

He was so mean about Valentines' day because that's what abusive people are like; they don't let us make any of our own decisions and don't respect those decisions at all when we do make them - like you did with Valnetines and the safe and sound choice not to see him. They keep pushing our boundaries.

I'm sorry, on his behalf, you've experienced such racism and other horrible abuses from him.

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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