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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Pregnancy phobia making me scared to exercise again? Help pls!

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Author Topic: Pregnancy phobia making me scared to exercise again? Help pls!
cherishbaby
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I am 20 years old and my friends think I have an anxiety disorder and an extreme fear of getting pregnant.

My doctor feels that my anxiety originated from when my mother almost unexpectedly passed away in November. He said that what had happened was that I developed high levels of anxiety that were never dealt with, and then 2 weeks later, when I engaged in fooling around with my boyfriend for the first time in my life, it "latched onto" the next stressful situation and it let's itself out through my scares (we've never had sexual intercourse nor has he ever ejaculated near or on my vagina. The first time my anxiety was ever triggered was when he fingered me for the first time and I got so scared I went and took plan b after). I stressed myself to the point where my period was delayed by 2 weeks in December, so my period was on dec 27 and the last one was on jan 26 and it lasted until yesterday (jan 29) so its back to normal. We don't fool around where he fingers me anymore and my pants never come down and he never directly touches my vagina anymore.

My period ended yesterday and today he rubbed my vagina outside my yoga pants and underwear. But he put his hand down the back of my pants and touched my right buttcheek and the top of my buttcrack with his hand and I got scared. I know there's nothing to worry about because even if any microscopic piece of pre ejaculation had been on his hand (his hands were dry I remember) my fertile week/ovulation doesn't start until around feb6-feb12 anyway plus that's just not how ppl reproduce but as you can see my mind goes crazy.

Anyway, I plan to stop all sexual activity with my bf now that my period ended and I know im not pregnant, but I want to start exercising 5 days a week and eating healthy again like how I used to before my anxiety kicked in in november but im scared bcuz I know exercise delays period and I don't want my mind to freak out over nothing again. Has my fear gone to the extremes? What should I do? And just to reassure me, does any of today's activities pose a pregnancy risk?

Posts: 26 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.

I think your doctor has made some very sound observations here that strike me as very likely. Has that doctor talked with you at all about ways to manage your anxiety and also your grief? medications, counseling, including grief counseling, etc?

It sounds to me like your genitals were the only ones that got touched here today: there is no possibility of pregnancy there.

Exercise also doesn't delay periods. OVER exercise and lots of hard training can, but moderate activity and healthy eating tends to regulate cycles better, not make them out-of-whack.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cherishbaby
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Thank you, but my mother didn't pass away. She almost did. Had an unexpected heart attack and they didn't think she was going to make it. I was at the mall when I called home to ask my mom if she wanted me to bring home any groceries, and she never answered the house phone, so I called my sister's cell cuz she was home with her, and when she picked up, I remember hearing my sister screaming and panicking cuz she found my mom on the floor when she went looking for her in the house. Most dreadful day of my life.
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cherishbaby
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And yes, my genitals OUTSIDE my pants were touched. The only time he ever touched my actual skin was when he touched my buttcheek/crack but I remember his hands were dry. Then at the very end, I gave him "head" and he finished in my mouth completely and then we both sanitized our hands after and washed several times IMMEDIATELY right after inside the mall (we were inside my car in the mall parking lot before he started work). There's no risk of pregnancy right? Especially since I just ended my period yesterday and won't start my ovulating week until feb 6 aka 7 days from now?
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Heather
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I'm sorry I misread that, but also glad your mother pulled through!

Again, not seeing any pregnancy risks here. If the oral sex was unprotected, potential STI risks, but not pregnancy.

But again, have you talked with your doctor about managing this anxiety and your options? Because it seems clear to me that's what you need help with, as it's not likely to just go away or be taken care of with answers like this.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cherishbaby
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My doctor suggested I see a psychologist. I think I might, because I feel like I can't live my life properly anymore. Even something as simple as wiping my vagina with toilet paper after urinating scares me that I might get pregnant. And I wash my hands 5 times plus hand sanitize twice all the time and now I'm even scared to start exercising again. I used to be so carefree and I just don't want my life to be like this. Anxiety doesn't sound too bad but trust me, when you're actually living life with it, it's so difficult because there's nothing more difficult than having to fight your own mind.
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Robin Lee
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It sounds like seeing a psychologist would be a very good idea.

Anxiety is a really tough thing to deal with, and when we start believing things we know logically aren't true it gets even harder. Nothing you've described here is a pregnancy risk. It sounds like your anxious feelings and thoughts are increasing in intensity and it can be hard (not to mention really uncomfortable) to deal with that sort of thing on your own.

Is your doctor able to help you find a specific psychologist.

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Robin

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Redskies
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cherishbaby,

I hope you can get some help with your anxiety. I do understand how very, very debilitating anxiety can be.

Aside from the anxiety, have you had good support for you, your own personal feelings and reactions, around what happened with your mother? When I was 20, my mother had a stroke. I remember how terrible that day was for me too. Afterwards, people asked me how my mother was, and said how happy they were that she was getting better. I don't think anyone said to me, "you know, that's some Really tough s* you just went through, and nearly anyone would be struggling. Do you need to talk about how You're doing?" I think I was traumatised about it for quite a long time, and trying to go on as if I wasn't traumatised really didn't help.

If you feel like it would help you to talk about what happened with your mother or you'd like to talk about it, I'd be happy to talk with you as someone who has some idea of the kind of experience you went through. (If you did want to talk about that specifically, perhaps the "body and soul" or "support groups" boards would be appropriate?)

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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