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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Really really unsure!

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Author Topic: Really really unsure!
lollylou
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Hey girls, just need a chat I think.
I began taking the combined BCP in october 2010, but stopped taking it for a month in february/march 2011 (and began taking again mid march)
During this time off, my boyfriend and I got a bit carried away and had several small pregnancy risks -
gentital rubbing/slight penetration for like 2 seconds.
I began taking my BC again when I got my period, and have had all my withdrawal bleeds since at the right time, but lighter than how I remember them from october - feb.
I was very stressed and paranoid about getting pregnant at the time, so took numerous pregnancy tests over the months, all negative...
But I have noticed my stomach grow over the past few months and what I see is a 'bump' and even feel flutters of movement there.
If I was to have conceived in march, I'd be 16-18 weeks gone now, so both of these things are possible but the negative tests and constant periods say otherwise... help?!

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Heather
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A feeling of "fluttering" in the abdomen is most commonly gas, not a pregnancy, which doesn't tend to feel like a flutter. If you're seeing stomach growth, that hearkens even more to having gas or bloating.

You're right, all those tests make very clear you're not pregnant. But it sounds like you're still feeling very worried, so how about just checking in with a doctor?

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lollylou
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I went to the family planning clinic last week to talk about possibly needing plan B - but also mentioned this.
The lady didn't seem concerned as I'd also mentioned periods, so didn't press the issue.
And also saw the GP about two weeks ago for my pill review/repeat prescription and again, we talked about periods so he didn't push it further again.

And just so you know Heather, I am so so much more comfortable and confident with sex and contraception now, it's just these incidents from months ago that had me worried x

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Heather
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Testing for pregnancy is pretty standard in most places when doctors do yearly prescription renews for oral contraceptives. Are you sure they didn't run a pregnancy test then?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lollylou
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Yep, it was a man so I was a bit freaked out by talking to him about it, but he asked about side effects etc, I said that I'd experienced them a lot more the second time round and had thought of pregnancy as a possible explanation but he just asked when my last period was, I answered with 'erm last week' which it was at the time, and he left it at that.
I obviously didn't push the issue as I have trust in the doctor's surgery so...

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Heather
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You know that you always have a right to ask for a doctor of a different gender if you want to, right? Even at public clinics? Mind, they may not always have someone else for you to see, but you can always ask. And if you have a doctor who you feel unable to voice health concerns with, that's a doctor that's pretty useless to you.

So, can you see someone else? It sounds pretty clear to me you are not pregnant, but if you can't let that feeling go and remain super-stressed and concerned, it seems soundest to me to see a doctor who can rule it out for you.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lollylou
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My surgery runs a bit of a silly appointments schedule where you can either book three weeks in advance or just ring up in the morning - I had a day off college that day,it couldn't wait three weeks so I just went with the first doctor they gave me - didn't really see a problem as all but one doctor, they're all really good so as long as I didn't get the one that is a bit iffy, it seemed okay.

Erm, I could go to the FPC again tonight, but I don't really want to go on my own and I'll have a hard job persuading my boyfriend to come.

Heather, is it really that obvious to you that nothing's wrong - as in can you be 100% sure that I did not concieve around march time?

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Heather
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In my opinion, yes, it is very clear. Not only have you had many negative tests, but if you were 18 weeks pregnant, than it would be very unusual if, by now, you were not having a LOT of other things going on with your body.

While how people experience pregnancy can vary a lot from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy, not having a period of a lot of nausea and feeling very tired, having changes with urination and eating, and not having missed a bunch of periods by now would all be awfully typical this late in the game.

Whether or not you go back to the FPC tonight is up to you, but I'd hope that your partner would be supportive if you felt the need to, especially since this is about possible risks you took together, not about something he had nothing to do with.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lollylou
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I don't know - there are little things - the weight gain around my stomach, the fluttering feeling (which is also like a heartbeat kinda twitch there, but only lasts for three or four 'beats'.
I have noticed I wee with less power (ie my bladder holds less), I have been tired but don't know what to compare it too to say if it's significant or not.
But you're right, the obvious signs have all said 'not pregnant' so you'd still say this is okay?

He's just fed up with all this now, it's from months ago and he's had to cope with me wittering.

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lollylou
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I don't know - there are little things - the weight gain around my stomach, the fluttering feeling (which is also like a heartbeat kinda twitch there, but only lasts for three or four 'beats'.
I have noticed I wee with less power (ie my bladder holds less), I have been tired but don't know what to compare it too to say if it's significant or not.
But you're right, the obvious signs have all said 'not pregnant' so you'd still say this is okay?

He's just fed up with all this now, it's from months ago and he's had to cope with me wittering.

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Heather
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To be clear, you can't feel a fetal heartbeat like that. It's common for people freaking out about pregnancy on the internet to talk about that, we've heard it here before, but in reality, that isn't something you can feel or hear without an ultrasound or, much later in pregnancy, sometimes a stethoscope. At 16 weeks, even a doctor sometimes can't detect a fetal heartbeat. What's most likely is that you have gas or are feeling your own heartbeat.

As well, when pregnant, weight gain isn't something that just happens abdominally.

It sounds to me like you really need to tell a doctor about all of these symptoms and your anxieties, okay? I think you'll feel so much better if you do. If your boyfriend won't go with you, then I'd encourage you to go and take care of yourself by yourself in this.

[ 06-21-2011, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lollylou
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Okayyy.

Weight gain hasn't just been abdominally, but my thighs aswell - just that my tummy is taking the shape of a small baby bump.

I honestly am fine about it now.
I'm okay with all recent sex/risks it's just this one time and I know it's just stupid but occasionally I'll just feel a twitch or glance in the mirror and i'll start thinking again, but the majority of the time I'm over it x

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Heather
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The thing is, you're at an age where you're likely to be gaining weight just because of the time of life you're in.

Let's not put words like stupid on this: I don't see any judgments as being helpful.

If you want to do something with all of this besides just trying to forget it -- which clearly isn't working -- I think it's a lot more helpful to try and think about WHY you're still feeling this scared and WHAT is so scary about all of this, you know? Chances are good that if you can come up with some of those answers, not only will you have a better route to feeling better, you might wind up finding some things in your life or relationship or the way you take care of yourself you can do for the better.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Captain Girl
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If you were sixteen weeks pregnant, a doctor could hear a heartbeat on a doppler, no problem. Probably not with a stethoscope though. You wouldn't notice it from outside without special equipment.

The fluttery twitch you're talking about sounds familiar to me, and at least to me, it's never had anything to do with pregnancy (I've been pregnant three times). It's a small muscle spasm. It's often the result of sore or strained muscles, and/or dehydration. The heartbeat thingy is your heartbeat.

All the concrete evidence you have tells you that you aren't pregnant. So I would say you aren't.

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