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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » making sure she's okay

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Author Topic: making sure she's okay
Paranoia and Poison
Neophyte
Member # 59352

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My girlfriend loves this website and uses it for advice. She gave me her password a long time ago so I can use the site as well.
My girlfriend's abstinate. We never had any type of vaginal intercourse. one day, we were fooling around, and i was wearing a condom. She got up for a minute and i accidently tugged on the condom and it ripped. Her clitoria (is that what you call that?) rubbed against the bare head of my penis, with a very small drop of precum. I had not masturbated or ejaculated before that entire day. is there any risk she could be pregnant from a little precum just brushing her? i dont know if this affects anything, but she told me her period was due the next day or so. Please help. Thank you

Posts: 7 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just FYI, in terms of our site policies, we need you to make your own account, okay? Sharing accounts like this isn't within our guidelines, and can make working with users tougher for us as a staff. Thanks!

Anytime someone with a penis and someone with a vulva have direct genital contact, there is the possibility of risk of STI transmission and pregnancy.

Since you did not ejaculate, the pregnancy risk was likely very low, if present at all, but there may have been one. Is her period late then?

I do think it's probably smart to start talking about the fact that you two are engaging in kinds of sex. In other words, that she's not abstinent if you are doing things like this. It can be a lot harder to make sound sexual choices if and when we're not honest about the fact that we're engaging in sex.

If you want some help with that discussion, maybe you can both come on over here and we can all talk about it together?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Paranoia and Poison
Neophyte
Member # 59352

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Hello Heather, I've very sorry about the account. I told her and she agreed that we only write together so we both know what is being written, im making an account immediately.
Heather, i think there was a misunderstanding, We were not having sex at all. She was sitting on me. We were about to have oral sex, thus the condom. i tugged, it ripped and my penis grazed her gently near her clitoria. her period is irregular and unpredictable, however she's complaining of "period cramps" and fatigue.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No worries, now you know moving forward. But we can't have users sharing accounts, so we do ask you please make your own and post with it to continue this conversation, okay?

Just so we're both on the same page, when I say "sex" I don't mean just intercourse. When I say sex, I mean all the different ways people can be sexual together, like, say, oral sex or dry humping, etc. That's what I mean when I say it's important to recognize that you two are engaging in kinds of sex. Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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ohthehorror
Neophyte
Member # 68286

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tahdah! i made my own account. i'm sorry for my terrible wording, this is my 1st experience talking to a expert about sex.
i fully understand you now. i bugged her to explain, and she explained she isnt abstinent, she just refuses to lose her "vaginal virginity". i dont really know if this clears things up as far as the situation goes, but i want to make it clear we have never had anal or vaginal sex.
but i am quite curious... so if i didnt ejaculate it's a low risk? i wasnt in or quite "near" her vulva, does that lower risk of STDs or Pregancy? Her period is expected some time soon, and she's moaning about lower back and stomach pain, is that period craps? i apologize for asking so many questions, but i really want to clear every doubt in my mind.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Cheers, thanks!

Yes, if you did not ejaculate, it's very low risk. I assumed you were on or near her vulva since you said you had contact with her clitoris (which is part of her vulva). And that's also why I mentioned what I did about being real about being sexual. If you two are, say, rubbing your genitals together when not dressed, it's important you both understand that can present the same risks intercourse can.

I can't say what her symptoms are about, however if she is expecting her period soon, and those are typical PMS symptoms for her, then yes, it's totally possible her period is on its way.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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ohthehorror
Neophyte
Member # 68286

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i have another question heather, (sorry!), my poor girl is complaining of headaches (which she gets when she's stressed). She's been stressed lately, and she gets very paranoid and worries a lot. i told her there is a low risk, but it still frightens her. Does a lot of stress affect a girl's period? Does stress make period arrive later or become more painful?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No trouble, it's always okay to ask more questions.

Stress itself probably does not impact periods. However, how we behave when we're stressed and how we manage (or don't) stress can. For instance, a lot of people don't sleep as well when they're stressed, eat differently, have different levels of activity, etc. And things like that can impact menstrual/fertility cycles.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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