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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » I'm pregnant

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Author Topic: I'm pregnant
Yorkie
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I'm 12 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is in rehab for a drug problem he doesn't know I'm pregnant I couldn't find the right time or the right words to tell him. The fact he would just flip over the slightest thing I was scared. I want to say he's never hurt me but I'm lying. He's pretty much ruined my whole life he sold everything worth having and my home isn't even safe to be around any more. I'm living on sofas taking whatever help I can. Doing any work I'm given. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I'm really scared.
Posts: 6 | From: Oxford (uk) | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Sounds like you are in a really tough position.

Have you been to a doctor yet to have the pregnancy confirmed?

If yes, the next step would be making a decision regarding whether you wish to remain pregnant. We would be happy to provide you with any information you may need, and answer any questions you might have.

And if there is anything else you need from us, just let us know.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Yorkie
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Yeah I had an appointment earlier in the week. I really don't know if abortion is best. How can I raise a child with a drug addict. Even if he does clean up what says he won't fall straight back to it, I don't know. I was so against abortion but I don't know.
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September
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So, let's talk about your options. They are: remaining pregnant, or having an abortion. If you chose to remain pregnant, you still have the choice between adoption and parenting.

If I can make a suggestion, I'd say that you'll want to make your choice with the assumption that the father won't be in the picture. Statistically speaking, most teen fathers do not stick around. Not to mention that, from what you have said, it does not sound like he is a very safe person to be around anyway.

Do you want to talk why you were/are against abortion? Is there anything about the process of abortion we can clarify for you?

If you are thinking about parenting, important factors to consider would be whether you can provide a safe home, whether you have the funds to provide for a child, and whether you have a good support system. Do you feel that you can provide that, or that you will be able to make the changes in your life necessary to provide that?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Yorkie
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My mum always says she wanted to abort me. Wishes she had. If she had I wouldn't be here and that really stings. The thought of doing that to another person, Makes me feel nasty.
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September
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I'm so sorry to hear what your mother said to you. She should not have said that. I hope you know that your mother's baggage surrounding her choice is just that - her baggage. It has nothing to do with you, and it's unfortunate that she chose to unload it on you regardless.

Another thing to consider is that when someone has an abortion, it's not a person they are aborting. It's a fetus growing inside of them, wholly dependent on them. So, the only one in that equation who is a person is the one who is pregnant.

If you want to do some more reading on abortion, you can take a look at this article: All About Abortion

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Yorkie
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Hmm thanks
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September
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I get that this is a pretty overwhelming situation, so I don't want to pile on more solicited advice. If you need to take some time for yourself to mull things over, please take that time. But we're also here if you have any further questions, or just want to think out loud, okay?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just checking in with you, Yorkie. Want to see how you're doing, and if you either need any help making your choice, or need to know where you can go in-person to get that help and information.

You might also find this workbook helpful: it's designed to value all possible choices, but to help you clarify which is most likely to be the most right, and feel the most right, for you: http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnant.htm

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Yorkie
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I can't have an abortion, whether it's a fetus or a baby it deserves a chance. Soul or no soul, name or No name it had a heart beat and I don't think it should be me who should end it. I'll find a way to cope. It's never going to be the end of the world.
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Heather
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If you know abortion isn't the right choice for you, do you want to talk about your other two options, then: about parenting or adoption?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Yorkie
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Member # 61848

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I was thinking about maybe keeping the baby, no adoption just me
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Heather
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Okay.

Do you know what/where your local resources are in terms of getting started with pre-natal care, talking to someone about financial assistance, etc?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67994 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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