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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » STD Sufferers (Page 1)

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Author Topic: STD Sufferers
Heather
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Do you currently have or carry a sexually transmitted disease?

You aren't a leper, you're just someone with an illness like any other. Find others dealing with what you are here, and work out your issues without shame or stigma.


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GothGirl
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I was just diagnosed with herpes simplex about 3 weeks ago. It was so devistating, because I know that I am going to carry it with me for the rest of my life. I feel so embarassed and ashamed of myself. It is no one's fault bu myself, I was the one who was careless, and it is just so hard now to look myself in the mirror and not break down and cry.
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punky_brewster
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I have herpes also. It was the most devistating thing that I had to go through in my life. I thought that I had fallen in love with a man who told me he was 25 (he was really 27). He was from Alabama, and every girl thought he was hot. I thought him and I had something special. I thought we were in love with each other. He had met him family, and they loved him. He even stayed with us for Thanksgiving. Him and I slept together. He was my third lover and I thought that if I slept with him he's love me even more. We spent the night together and in the morning he left. After that nightt we got into several fights and we broke up. I remember people telling me afterwards that he had been cheating on me the whole time we had been together. I was so depressed I thought about taking my own life more than a few times. Finally I told my mother everything that had happened. She was very supportive. She told me that since I was now sexually active I should go in to get a pap smear and birth control. we went to the doctor's together. i was tested for common STD's and AIDS. I found out about a month later that I did not have AIDS, but I did have herpes. I was more depressed than I had ever been in my life. This man that I thought I was in love with had totally ruined me. I wanted to die. I stayed in my room and cired forever. I finally educated myself on the disease more and i found that there was no way to cure it. i wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead. I would have stopped at nothing to kill that man. He moved away, and I never saw him again. He lied to me about everything. He charmed and romantced me. He broke my heart. I had only one friend whom I could talk to and she helped me a lot. I remember when I told her she cried and I cried and she just held me. I will never forget how much she really cared. The pain did not end there though. I told another person whom I thought was a good and trusted friend, stupidly and she ended up telling everyone at school. no one would even talk to me, i had the image of the school slut... and guys feared even being around me. People also thought that I had AIDS and they looked at me like I was a freak. I was in a LOT OF INNER PAIN. I was depressed beyond beleif. I was stupid enough to let these peoples words get to me. I felt hated and ugly inside and out. I started throwing myself at men. I always used a condom, but now I regret every night i was with men.... I despise the thought of it all. I hated myself. I hated men. I was a big mess. Finally I stopped abusing myself and letting men abuse me when I met the love of my life.... and I have never been happier with myself or loved myself more than I do now. I have told him about my STD and he loves me regardless. We are not sexually active and he is a virgin. I am still working through all of this trauma, but I am getting better... one step at a time. I just wanted to post this on here to let any of you women out there that have herpes, or any other STD to realize that it is not your fault, you are not dirty.. and that your life does not have to end... be strong, and remember that you are beautiful and worth everything in the world. Do not let men destroy you.... love yourself, be proud of who you are. There is always time to change...
with deep love and sympathy to all of you...
-punky-
if any of you have any questions or anything PLEASE feel free to write me at -- EDITED: according to our guidelines, email addresses and other contact information can not be posted on these boards --
i know your pain, you are not alone...

[This message has been edited by kythryne (edited 10-30-2001).]


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Beautiful day
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I havnt been diagnosed witha sivere STD.. but i am afraid i might have something.. I am getting checked next week. But i wanted to say.. i am glad to see this post up here for support it makes me feel at ease that im not the only one...
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kythryne
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I'm tossing this one back up to the top, because I think it's really good to have a topic like this going for those who need it.

My ex did the infamous "oh, don't worry, I'm clean" routine -- and me being the naieve young thing that I was, I bought it. Long story short, I now have herpes. It devastated me at first, but now it's just another one of those annoying things I have to deal with occasionally, like being dependent on glasses or contacts to be able to see past the end of my nose. Granted, it adds a bit of a complication to pre-sex negotiations with a new partner, but it's definitely not the end of the world.

I do wish I'd known better, and had the sense and the courage to insist on STD tests before getting involved with my ex, but that's water under the bridge now.

Kyth

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Kythryne
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey


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kythryne
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bumpity bump!
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vibrant
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I went out to a party about a month ago with a bunch of my friends, I had been drinking so I didn't want to drive. I went to this party with one of my good guy friends, who I thought cared about me! The party was a blast, and I danced the whole night away, but eventually it was time to go; and since he was my ride I left my friends and left with him. But, he didn't take me home! Instead he took me to his house, and I was too wasted to object, all I could think about was sleeping. The next morning when I awoke he wanted to have sex; I really didn't want to but I didn't object simply because we had engaged in casually sex in the past. A few days later I started noticing symptoms of an STD. In the back of my mind I knew exactly what it was, but I was in denial! School started that following Monday, so I went to the Student Health Center to get checked out, and a couple days later I was diagnosed with oral herpes. I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt ashamed, dirty, and ugly! I knew that I was now a carrier for life, and I was more afraid that no one will ever accept me for me! Better yet, I just wanted to roll over, go to sleep, and never wake up. I was so angry, and I still am. I have to go see a psychologist once a week, because it's been a little less than a month; and I'm still having troubles accepting myself! I have told two of my closest friends, which they have been very supoortive, but I feel like they will never understand what I am going through. I just hope that I will one day be able to accept what I have...

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Taking it day by day


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Cutechick235
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I went to the doctors yesterday and I now know that I have genital warts. I suppose Ive known for about 5 weeks now but I was just hoping that if I ignored then they would go away, but of course they didnt. It really hit me when I got diagnosed, I didn't stop crying all last night. I feel so worhless and pathetic at the moment.
What makes it worse is that I have started going out with this boy. He is so sweet and lovely and he says he wasnts to be with me for ages. He isn't like most boys as he hasnt tried anything on yet and I think he really likes me, I love him really, Ive liked him for ages. But since this has happened I know I can never tell him as no way on this earth do I want anyone to know about it. I think im going to have to finish with him because there is no way I want to risk giving him an STI. It seems unfair to ask him to stay with me but without ever having sex. It is going to break my heart and his but I have no choice.
I hate the way this is all because I got drunk at one stupid house party and had unprotected sex, I wih I could go back in time so much!

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Heather
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Cute, did you read the reply I gave you here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000295.html?

Can you perhaps read this part again?

quote:
Can you have sex again? Yes, you can. At least one-third of all sexually active young adults right now have HPV. It's not just you, but that is a wake-up call to take safer sex seriously: and that includes not just condom, dam and glove use, but testing as well. You should also make a point right now of contacting your previous partners to inform them of this so they too can be tested.

The risk of giving it to others is high, but it is decreased dramatically via women when you keep check of your sexual health, get any active warts taken care of promptly, and use safer sex practices: again, namely condoms, gloves and dental dams and testing. You can find out about all of that right here: Safe, Sound & Sexy – A Safer Sex How-To.

So, you have a new person you're dating. The way to start this right is to make sure that before you start progressing to sexual activities, you are comfortable enough with him to tell him you have HPV, tell him what his risks are, and talk about safer sex with him. if you can't do that -- for people with or without an STD or STI -- you shouldn't be sexually active. Those discussions and practices are necessary for everyone right now to have sex reponsibly whether they have an STI or not.


The truth of the matter is that when any of us are sexually active right now, we risk infection or disease. And if we can't talk to a partner about those risks -- whether we have an STI or not -- it isn't about the STI. It's about us simply not being ready for what a healthy sexual relationship requires, or about us not having the trust and openness yet with a given partner to take that step.

Wishing to turn back time isn't productive. learning from what's occurred -- namely that these risks are all too real and that we ALL need to not dramatize this, but deal with these things realistically and honestly -- is.


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anna1112
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I'm petrified. What I thought was an abrasion from rough handling hurts more today, and I think I can see bumps. I'm making a doctor's appointment, but I have no idea what I'm going to do if I have herpes/warts. Can anyone give me some advice on what I can do to prepare myself? I've been reading up on STDs all day, but if I turn out to have something I'm afraid I'm just going to collapse, and now is a bad time for collapsing (I'm about to take my finals at a university that's VERY far away from my home and family). How do you steel yourself for this sort of thing? Would it make more sense to just try to calm down? How have you guys dealt with this as time's gone on?

Thanks so much.

Editing to say, I've been rereading some of the posts on this thread, and I'm sorry if this sounds a little melodramatic. I'm just frightened - nothing of this sort has happened to me before, and I've always, always used condoms etc., so it's a bit of a bolt from the blue.

[This message has been edited by sirbmckenzie (edited 01-11-2005).]


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Gumdrop Girl
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while having an STD isn't a cakewalk, many of them can be managed enough such that your life will not be ruined.

In the case of herpes and warts, did you know some of the biggest problems with those aren't physical, but MENTAL? yes, when people find out they have herpes or warts, they tend to freak out, feel like pariahs, and have all sorts of psychosocial issues. These are the toughest things to deal with.

But as far as the body itself? warts can be removed surgically. And herpes can be controlled with medications.

The rest is up to you to handle. you can seek support from support groups. I don't know what they've got in the UK (you didn't say where you were from, but you spell stuff with extra 'U's, so I figure...). But in the States, there's HerpesHELP http://www.herpes.com/supportgroups.shtml

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LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


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anna1112
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Considering the amount of freak-outage I've already done before knowing anything conclusive, what you've said makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much for the reply and resources.
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spinnersis
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I've had oral herpes for my entire life. The theory is that I got it from a kiss from my grandma.

It was never a big deal (although I do have a school picture where my chin is all broken out). Mostly I just have to remember not to share straws or cups or silverware when I've got a break out. (Here! Have a bite of this cheesecake, it's really good!) I also make sure that nobody tries to share my lipstick. It goes without saying that I avoid kissing people when I've got a break out.

I usually only get sores when I'm really stressed out or after I've been sick and my immune system is low. When I was younger eating too much chocolate would do it too, fortunately that seems to have gone away.

I just thought I'd post my experiences with oral herpes to let people know that it's not an end of the world sort of situation. It's a bit of an irritation occasionally but that's it, so don't worry about it. I hope this is helpful.

-Anna


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celery
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Hey.. I just read spinnersis' post and I have the exact same thing.

I in fact have a cold sore right now [blaming stress!] and I also think I got it from my grandma when I was little, because I've also had it all my life.

It sucks because I get one probably every 2 months. And they're painful and big and I've had like 3 at one time!
Also have the pictures with the chin breakout.. not fun!

Just thought I'd rant a little, still trying to find a good rememdy =\


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wobblyheadedjane
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I had a cold sore breakout when I was at the dentist once, and they proscribed me Zoivorax which helps quell the breakouts. I used it the next time I got a sore, and the time after that, it was much faster healing time. If I get on it quick enough when I feel that cold sore 'tingly' feeling, I can pretty much avoid it erupting at all, though I'm very careful still not to share glasses or kiss anyone for a few days afterwards.

I also take extra zinc when I have a breakout to boost my immune system and use suncreen lipbalm to keep from getting breakouts from overexposure to the sun. Just some small tips I found helpful.


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Lady Bird
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I get alot of coldsores, usually in the cold weather (but i'm always careful with my boyfriend!), is it normal to get them just on the inside of your nose? Thats the only place I seem to get them... I can only remember once where I had them on the side of my mouth as a breakout and that was years ago.
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wobblyheadedjane
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Do the bump.
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Gumdrop Girl
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bumped for StarHallie. join the party, dear.

in fact, if you could, cut and paste your new thread into this one.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


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StarHallie
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(Thanks so much Gumdrop Girl You guys are great.)

Okay, so I just diagnosed with high-risk HPV two days ago. Today I had a biopsy.
I know this isn't a terribly risky STD but it's still a serious one, and I can't help but feel weird about it. I was a virgin before my current boyfriend (whom I chose REALLY wisely...but unfortunately his testing didn't reveal that he was carrying this virus), and I don't regret anything, because I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Anyways, I am kind of shocked, confused, and scared about what exactly to expect from this whole thing...and I need to talk to some other girls who feel weird that they have this.

I read somewhere that three in four sexually active people will get this in their life...so since it's extremely common, there has to be some people out there that are just as worried as I am about it.

I'm having some emotional concerns about my sex life. Is this going to change anything? Has it worsened anyone's sex life in terms of "knowing" you're sexually infected?

Im just so shocked...,and it's not going away. Thanks you guys. I'd love some company right now.


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Gwaihir
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Just some advice for herpes sufferers I hope helps. .

I just found out recently that my mother has herpes simplex and she claims that taking lots of lysine tablets helps lessen outbreaks. Also, if you want to go the herbal route, I've read that lemon balm is an excellent herb for combatting the herpes virus. (Of course, before trying to use any herb you should always talk to a qualified herbalist.)

Personally, there's always a dim fear that I have it too, that maybe my mother wasn't as careful not to spread it to me during my childhood as she thought but I can't let it eat at me.
I do get small ulcer-like sores occassionally, but only inside my mouth, so they might just be canker sores, but I don't know.


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BiLLaBaBy017
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I was diagnosed with low risk HPV a few weeks ago, but I still have yet to have my biopsy. I'm scheduled to have it on the 27th of this month. I'm really scared because I don't know what to expect, someone said that it hurt a lot when she had it done, then I heard it won't hurt at all. I've heard many things, but I'll have to wait and see for myself. Me and my husband had started to have sex without condoms when we startd dating, but I had used condoms 95% of the time with my previous boyfriends, so I was pretty shocked when I found out I had it too.

Virgins can also get it, so I guess it sounds like a somewhat normal thing. HPV isn't serious I think, it's just a way of life. Don't take that the wrong way, I just mean that I can happen to anyone, sexually active or not.

I am nervous to have it done, but at least I'll know if it's cancer or not


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StarHallie
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Well, for me...the biopsy was weird. My doctor used a tool that kind of snips off little peices of tissue on the cervix...I guess. At least that's how he explained it. It was more like a little pinch than anything. The problem for me was that he was concerned about not one....not two... but THREE areas. So I got snipped thrice. Fun stuff. I guess the best advice I could give you is: just TRY to relax. Because that's what someone told me- if you aren't mentally freaking out, it wont be so physically freaky for you.

I'd say, at least you have low-risk...I'm quite a bit more prone to cervical cancer. I just want the results back. I'm so scared...I hope I don't have to get any of those scary procedures done. I just take such good care of myself: I have such a healthy lifestyle, how could something so scary intrude my body. It's not fair.

When I got diagnosed with this...I was just like... "this is not me. i do not have an std! I have only been with one guy in my entire life. I am healthy! Young! Vital!" I was so shocked, I totally know how you feel. It's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one out there who is totally freaked by this infection.

From what I've read, this thing is not going to take over our lives. I think we have control here. I'm glad for that


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StarHallie
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Has anyone had a cone biopsy for HPV treatment? I found out that I have areas on my cervix that are at high risk of becoming cancerous and must be removed via a cone biopsy. I'm really freaked out about it.

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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Heather
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Aw, Hallie. Sorry this is getting more complicated for you.

I've never had to have one myself, but I both have friends who have, and I can point you to some decent online information about what to expect if you need it:

• http://www.stjohnsmercy.org/healthinfo/test/gyn/TP106.asp

Just be sure, after you have this done to NOT put ANYTHING into your vagina for a few weeks afterward: four to six weeks is the standard suggestion. That means tampons, that means intercourse, fingers, the works. And also be sure to give yourself a few days to rest as well.

You're not having to still be secretive about this per your family, are you? If so, please do NOT let that keep you from taking care of yourself.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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StarHallie
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Of course...my number one concern is my health. I am taking good care of myself. But I see no need as of yet to bring this all into the picture with my family. It's better for my health NOT to. It's REALLY complicated.

I feel comfortable keeping it between my boyfriend and I. That isn't what's stressing me out. It's the fact that there is material in my body that could be cancerous or could be cancerous later. It's just that this all happened so fast. How can something like this happen in 6 months time total? I'm so scared.

I cried so much after hearing the stuff about pregnancy. I'm crying just writing this now. It's such a horrible feeling. But seriously, thank you for being here to give me information. You've done all you can short of making the cells disappear from my cervix. -_- I really appreciate it.

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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Heather
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Well, if it's any consolation, a friend of mine who was in the same boat as you, nearly identically, a few years back is the mama of a totally healthy, completely awesome one-year-old daughter.

[Smile]

Just be sure the secrecy doesn't keep you from being able to recover well, okay?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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StarHallie
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Okay. [Smile] I'm trying to keep my head up. And no, I won't let anything get in the way of my health. I'll get through this. My boyfriend said just push through it, you're stronger than it, and you're going to come out even stronger after this is all over. I think he's right, and I'm trying to live by that right now. :-)

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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StarHallie
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My pre-surgery consult is in a week. My boyfriend is traveling here to be with me for it. I'm afraid I'm going to break down during the consult, and I had a nightmare about it last night. It's not even the PROCEDURE and I'm already having nightmares. I really don't know what to do. I've been trying to stay occupied and busy to keep it off my mind. But I think I'm more scared about getting prepped for the procedure than for the actual procedure itself. I'm having unrealistic nightmares of having massive bleeding. My boyfriend assured me that he would be holding my hand when I wake up. That's the only comfort I have.

What's wrong with me? What can I do to stop myself from having these terrible, LUCID dreams about failed surgery? Does this happen to anyone else? DID this happen to anyone else?

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
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Heather
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I've never personally had this procedure done.

But I have personally had massive reconstructive surgery on my hand following a truly nasty accident, and I've also had my stomach cut open to get rid of two organs that ruptured and would have killed me within days. Both are far, far more invasive, risky procedures than what you've got scheduled. I've also had a gnarly, painful surgery for a wisdom tooth root that decided it wanted to lock itself to my jaw, and have had a tooth pulled with no anesthetic whatsoever. I lived through all of it, and none of them haunt me, none of them are anything I even recall all that much. With all of them -- save the endless reconstruction on my hand -- the pain and discomfort were very, very short lived.

I say that as some form of comfort, because for the most part, both were also totally painless, and without any complications. Chances are very good the same will be the case with you. You having massive bleeding while being prepped is totally unlikely.

If you've never had any sort of surgery before, surgery can be a really scary prospect. I grew up in hospitals, and even then, my early surgeries were scary. Being scared is normal, and it doesn't mean you're being a freak.

You CAN call your doctor or nurse and ask them to explain the procedure again, you can ask about risks, about how often complications happen, the works. Sometimes just having the information helps.

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StarHallie
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Thats the weird thing- I've had four surgeries on a skin defect when I was young, and I had a surgery to get a wisdom tooth dislodged from inside my nasal cavity. So surgery to me is like...a childhood trauma. That may be contributing to all of this fear. You've had it far worse than me...I should be greatful that I haven't had to experience the things you have. I totally feel the same way about how scary surgery is. I hate the paper clothes they make you wear, I hate the sterile room, I hate the uniformity: the people all wearing the same scrubs with the same shoes and the same fake "it's going to be okay" smile. I hate all of it.

I also think I'm so scared because it has to do with my reproductive organs.

I was thinking about bringing questions in with me to the consult? Do you think that would keep me from falling apart? I feel like if I play the "im responsible, I have all these questions" part, I'll be able to mentally transform myself into that person, thus not completely losing it in the office? (And getting questions answered, of course) I just don't want to lose it in front of my boyfriend. It will just make him feel terrible. I don't want to make him feel any more terrible than he already does about this entire situation.

Thanks so much for the quick reply. I have days where I don't think about it at all, but then I have days where it's all that's on my mind and there doesn't ever seem to be a happy medium. Today is one of latter, unfortunately. So thanks for being there for advice. [Frown]

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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Heather
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I think bring in questions is a perfectly sound idea. And like I said, it IS also okay to call before then: doctors and surgeons are used to patients having anxiety, and to doing what they can to quell it and allay fears.

It is also a special kind of scary when it's to do with reproductive organs. I can speak for that even from the perspective of abortion. It can make you feel an extra level of vulnerable, an extra level of exposed, and it can make the sterility of the whole experience feel extra out-of-place.

Per your partner though, you know, this is your partner. You're the one with the big risks here, you're the one with the surgery. If you need to cry, if you're scared, this is an apporpriate time to lean on a partner, and a partner should be able to step up for the occasion and deal with their own -- far smaller - stuff. So, do yourself a favor and in a situation like this, do what you need to for you. Someone who loves you would want to do that, and probably feel even crappier if they knew you weren't to spare their feelings.

One last idea: you can ask if there is anything that you can do or can be done to make the experience more comfortable for you, like having a headset on with a favorite CD, for instance.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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StarHallie
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Well....the consultation was great. It went very well. My boyfriend came along and we got all questions answered, and I felt really good about it. I really love my OBGYN. He's very intelligent and kind. A week after my consult I got a call saying that my doctor couldnt do my procedure because my insurance didn't cover the hospital that he was going to do it in. So...I had to find another OBGYN in order to get the biopsy done as soon as possible. This OBGYN was going to do the procedure in the office. At first I thought that was weird, but I was assured that it would be completely safe. So this next doctor...not so great. The consult was okay with him...but he talked a lot about himself...which was really weird to me.

Anyways, today was the procedure. (Hence my laying in bed on the computer all night). It went well, my boyfriend held my hand through the entire thing and helped me breathe while he was actually doing the LEEP. It was very scary, I was very sensitive, and I cried so much. The doctor seemed very insensitive throughout. Which bothered me quite a bit.

My boyfriend tried to comfort me toward the end of the procedure by saying "the next time you'll be on a table like this is when you're in labor"...and the doctor, without hesitation, piped in with "well, I wouldnt say that...she'll be in for lots of pap smears until then". I thought that was really rude. Really rude. And especially considering that I was laying there after having tissue razored off of my cervix...and my boyfriend was only saying that to comfort me.

After I was all ready to go and the OBGYN left the room so I could dress myself...my boyfriend said to me, "do you want to see something that kind of bothered me?" And of course, I said, yes. He opened a drawer that the doctor had been working out of that contained bottles labeled with things like "poison". Maybe this is normal...maybe it's not. Besides that, the drawer was FILTHY. Coated with iodine (that yellowish color), what looked like blood...which really concerned me...and it was just full of bottles coated with gross gunk and it was just SCARY! I didn't know what to think about it...but I took some pictures of it on my camera phone...in case I end up with some infection from dirty materials. All the materials he used were in those sterile bags....but he also used some of the iodine solution in that drawer. I'm a little worried.

Before the procedure, I had to sign a sheet which waived my right to file malpractice. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. This is all worrying me a great deal. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

I called my old OBGYN and asked him if I could do my followups with HIM. And he said, BY ALL MEANS. Which makes me feel better about this whole thing. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? I feel like I wasn't taken care of as well as I could have been, and I'm a little uneasy. Any thoughts are highly appreciated!

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Heather
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Well, it sounds like you didn't have a doctor with the best bedside manner in the world, to say the least. I'm so sorry he made all of this harder on you, Hallie.

But I wouldn't worry about that drawer. Was the room you were in clean? Did you see a nice row of shiny, sterile instruments? Was your doctor gloved? If so, it's unlikely your health was put at risk. Iodine is messy stuff and hard to keep pristine, and likely it was all in that drawer with other liquid items that can be equally unweildly for that reason.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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(Hallie, is everything okay? You healing up alright? Just thought about you and wanted to check in.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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StarHallie
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Thanks so much for being here for me and always having an answer for me. :-)

Mentally, I'm wonderful. I'm swollen though in my lower abdomen, perhaps from the trauma that went on in there. My quads are sore (it's hard for me to climb stairs) because of all the tensing I did during the procedure. My boyfriend kept telling me to try to relax my muscles but all I could do the entire time was squeeze his hand as hard as I could! Also, my discharge actually has a burnt smell...it's horrible. Other than that, I'm pretty much all better. I'm just glad to have the scary part over with.

I'm due to see my OLD OBGYN in about two weeks and I wrote him a thank you card for being so supportive and nurturing to me. Seriously, those guys don't get thanked enough.

That drawer was gross, but I'm glad I shouldn't be worrying about it. That freaked me out. My boyfriend also brought up something else that bothered him: even though the doctor was gloved and everything was clean that he was putting into me...he was putting a lot of things away with his gloves still on (that were coated with my blood). Even though he didn't touch anything gross and then touch me, he touched me and then touched equipment like the cover to the surgical light, etc. It was really kind of unsanitary. But hey...that's what I get for my insurance not covering it to be performed in the hospital.

On a side note...I've gained 15 pounds since this whole ordeal began. I chalked it up to stress at first, but I talked to my doctor and I believe it may be the birth control pills. I have never gained weight this fast and NOT been able to lose it. And I have a really healthy diet. I want to just stop taking the pills. I'm in the middle of the pack, and im not sure if that would prompt an early period or not....but I really just want to stop taking them tonight. I can't have sex for a while anyways...and I was thinking about going on the Ring when I'm all healed up. My friend uses it and really likes it (the pill made her gain weight like a horse too).

What do you think?

Thanks for the support/guidance. :-)

Love Hallie

[ 04-09-2006, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: StarHallie ]

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