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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » It doesnt fit

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Author Topic: It doesnt fit
skinny noir
Neophyte
Member # 97667

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Hi I was wondering if you could help me out, I don't know if this is an unusual situation or not, but my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and both want to have intercourse it will be his second time and my first, but the problem is his penis doesn't seem to be able to fit inside me, it eier literally doesnt go in or it slides past my hole, we have tried 5/6 times now and it doesn't work. And because of it hes finding it hard to keep a full hard on can't keep a full hard on, we don't do oral before and just try and go straight into it, is this the problem? Are there any particular positions that we could try out to help this problem? Thanks! Liv [Smile]

[ 10-07-2012, 04:03 PM: Message edited by: skinny noir ]

Posts: 3 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 66249

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Hey liv, sorry to hear you're having problems...

A few things: If oral sex is something that does help and that you both enjoy, why not try it, as it sounds like you feel it could help?

It's not a problem to try sex the way you are, but for you (and actually plenty of others), it isn't working and there's no reason to just assume that it should be... you're both just finding out what you enjoy. No need to keep watering a dying plant that might just be in need of more sunlight instead.

Also, lube is the best thing ever (almost). If you're not using it already, I'd say that could really help things 'fit' and feel comfortable. Using it to help you both get arroused first can be fun, and then when you do try the penis-in-vagina sex, it can feel a lot better and pleasurable than trying to force bits of your bodies to do stuff that they don't like. That sounds like it could have been painful and it makes sense that he looses an erection, it can be quite uncomfortable.

Finally, what about you?... you don't mention how arroused you are and whether this is something you think you'll enjoy or not. Maybe trying to focus on your pleasure more (if you're not already) could help you both, whether it's through oral sex or fingering or whatever works. It could take the pressure off him to keep arroused, as it won't be all about his body, and maybe it'd take the pressure off you both to have your sex life revolve around that one act, and furthermore when you do try it, you being fully arroused means more lubrication, more relaxed muscles and hopefully also more of a turned-on him.

It must have been so stressful, but I hope this helps.

Good luck (and sunlight)!

From Ow to Wow by Heather, really covers all of this if you want to read in more depth: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/from_ow_to_wow_demystifying_painful_intercourse

[ 10-08-2012, 06:54 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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skinny noir
Neophyte
Member # 97667

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Thanks a lot Jacob your advice has been really helpful, x

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Snoir

Posts: 3 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Making sure one is physically and emotionally aroused before intercourse can be a huge help.

One thing I'd like to add to Jacob's suggestions, somethin that is mentioned in this article
First Intercourse 101
is to know that for most people having intercourse, the penis does not just go into the vagina by itself. It often needs to be guided by one partner or the other. I know this may sound simple, but I wanted to mention it just in case it could help.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
skinny noir
Neophyte
Member # 97667

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Thank you!!

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Snoir

Posts: 3 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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