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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » There's More To Intimacy Than Sex

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Author Topic: There's More To Intimacy Than Sex
Robin Lee
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The word intimacy is frequently used in place of sex. What we know though is that there's a heck of a lot more to intimacy between partners than sexual activity. For one thing, many people have relationships with friends or family members that feel intimate that have nothing to do with sex. For another, well, there's just a whole lot more involved in intimacy than what people choose to do in the bedroom (or elsewhere) and sometimes sexual activity itself doesn't have a whole lot to do with being intimate.

So, what does intimacy mean to you?

If you're in a relationship, what other things besides sex do you do or have you done to increase intimacy with your partner(s)?


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To me being intimate means to share things about yourself that you wouldn't normally share with other people. This includes things like feelings you have, thoughts, wishes, anything that you wouldn't normally share. I would say cuddling and sex are intimate as well as you are sharing your body with someone in a very vulnerable manner.
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Great thread idea Robin!

To me, intimacy means closeness and connectedness. It means trusting a partner, and being trusted in return. It's something kind of indefinable, but, for me, very necessary to a good relationship.

On a related note, last year I took a class on love, and we had to do group presentations on various topics. My group did one on intimacy, and as a starting activity, we asked everyone to write 3-5 words they associate with intimacy on a scrap of paper. I used those words to create a word cloud, and this was the result. I thought it was really interesting to see which words got repeated often (the biggest words), and which were more individual ideas of intimacy.

Edit: Oops, forgot to answer your second question. For me, cuddling is a biggy in terms of increasing intimacy. Being physically close to my partner in that way always makes me feel warm and fuzzy [Smile]

[ 10-01-2012, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: -Firefly- ]

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To me, intimacy is that closeness you foster when you let your guard down and feel safe being vulnerable.

One of my favourite ways to create intimacy with my partner is letting my hair down and being completely goofy. I feel really close to him when we both let each other be totally, embarrassingly silly without judgement.

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I've had a relationship where we did not have sex, but were very physically close to one another - like cuddling and just hanging out. I did let my guard down a few times and be honest with him about different things in my life, so I guess intimacy can truly be about other things besides sex. For instance, letting yourself cry in front of someone, or hugging, are both very intimate things for me.

"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

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Im my opinion intimacy is about knowing allowing another person get so close to you, that you feel like he/she is your "other half" for lack of a better word. It's about trust, friendship, honesty, and love. It has nothimg to do with sex.


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