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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » ex-boyfriend sorry for not respecting my sexualboundaries

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Author Topic: ex-boyfriend sorry for not respecting my sexualboundaries
cool87
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You know the 31 years-old boyfriend I had that wanted me to go sleep at his house and was kinda pressuring me into sex. We broke up but he keeps calling me since to say how sorry he is for not respecting my boundaries and the fact that I didn't want to have sex. And he seems really sorry. He asked me if we could meet together in private the two of us alone to talk about things, like at his house. I just want to have your opinion about that. He seems really sorry but do you think a guy can change from one minute to the other ?

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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The people who helped you on that thread were all really glad to hear that you'd given this guy the boot. Furthermore, this was the last post you made in that thread:

quote:
This guy is so wrong. He is now bragging about having taken my virginity to all his friends which he totally didn't. He says that I'm a really easy girl and he seems so proud of that. But I just choose to ignore him. He didn't want to break up so maybe that's kind of his revange.
Do you honestly want to give in to him again? After he not only disrespected your boundaries, but went on to spread malicious words about you to other people?

Look, it's obvious that this guy, for his age, has some serious maturity issues. He may be 31, but he's acting no better than a child. In short, stand your ground. You're better off with him gone.

(By the way, it's still a really good idea to take a break from relationships altogether until you can learn to assert yourself and develop better trust in people.)

[ 06-26-2006, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

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joyfulgirl
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if he specifically asked to meet with you alone, i'd be careful. i'm not sure how well you know or trust him, but it would definately be safer to meet in a public place, if you're going to meet with him at all.

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logic_grrl
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Words are easy, and this guy's already shown that he's willing to say whatever he thinks you want to hear.

He probably thinks he can manipulate you into getting back together again and then push you into sex.

I would say: don't under any circumstances meet with him alone. The fact that he's insisting on meeting in private sets off a lot of alarm bells for me.

And given how badly he's acted - including spreading lying rumors about you - I'd say you're better off without this guy in your life, full stop.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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cool87
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Why? Do you think if I meet him alone he's gonna have a move on me ?

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helpimconfuzzled
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To be honest? Yes, you said hes been telling all his mates that he took your virginity, and he didnt. Now hes saying he should have respected your boundaries, which is nice to say but does he mean it? I wouldnt see him on his own just in case he tried to pressure you. But hey, this is just my opinion.
x x

Posts: 91 | From: uk | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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