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Author Topic: Confused...So Confused
sobeys_gurl
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Member # 10247

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I went out with this guy for over a year, and as far as i knew everything was fine... Then his little brother passed away, and we all changed. It hit me so hard i wasn't sure what to do, how to feel, which way to act... Then my bf broke up with me.. And now i feel like my entire world is coming crashing down on me. My ex told me that he still loves me, and nothing will change that. He broke up with me so that i can focus more on my life then on him.. Which I think it was for the better, I'm moving on with my life, going back to school and bettering my education, but i miss him so much i want him back! We talk every now and then, get together when we have time and he told me that last time he was over, that he misses me and he does wanna get back together but he's not sure if its the right thing. I'm soo confused, I mean i love this guy so so much and i wanna be with him, but... there's another guy, lets call him Mike. I've known him since before I met my ex. amd we' ve always been like the best of friends, when my ex's brother passed away, Mike was there for me regardless of how i acted.. He held my hand through the wake and the funeral, he was by my side when i closed the casket and said my final good-bye before dropping to my knees in tears, He was there for me even when my ex wasn't. and for that i love him. He's been my big fluffy teddy bear for ages. Lately we've been spending alot of time together and i think i might actually be falling for him. I guess my main question is; should i try and give it another go with the man that I'm positive I'm supposed to be with, or should I speak to Mike and see how he feels with giving us a shot. I dunno if a change would be the right thing. I know you can't tell me what to do. I just need some guidance, some advice from someone who may have been in the same bost as me.. Thanks alot in advance. Love Mandii
Posts: 11 | From: New Lowell | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hehe
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Member # 5505

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talk to the both of them and tell them whats on your mind. you love this guy and he knows that but he's still greiving and doesnt want to have you interfer with that. maybe you should try it with mike for a while,then you'll know whats meant to be and not mean to be. being with someone new could be what you need. just remeber sometimes when messing friendships with relationships they dont end to pretty. you might just be lonley for love and your tryin to make mike into something he isnt nessicarily. talk it over and see where it takes you. good luck*
Posts: 36 | From: Houston, TX USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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Member # 3072

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quote:
Originally posted by sobeys_gurl:
should i try and give it another go with the man that I'm positive I'm supposed to be with, or should I speak to Mike and see how he feels with giving us a shot.

Let me give you a hint, darling Mandii...if you are positive you are supposed to be with someone, you will not feel the urge to try out someone else.

I will admit, sometimes I have to shake my head a bit when I see things like this because it just doesn't seem to make sense. If you're after your ex, go after him. If you're after Mike, go after him. But don't jump into something with one while keeping your eye on the other. Not only is it rather unkind to them, it ends up hosing you in the process.

You see, having feelings for someone means that you want to spend more and more time with them. It does not mean you want to spend more and more time with them while you case the joint looking for someone else to be with; or while you become more and more enamored to a friend whose shoulder you've cried on.

I know you know this, and I think it's more likely that your words just came out wrong. (It happens to the best of us!) But either way, the fact remains that you should pick what you think is best for you, and do one thing at a time. If you really think you're "supposed" to be with your ex, now would be a good time to start making that happen. On the other hand if you feel like now would be a good time to test the waters with someone else and see if they're better for you, you might want to ask Mike out and see if he's interested.

But for the love of brie, keep it simple. Balancing two guys is a lot like running through a hallway with a carton of eggs. You trip up once and the whole thing becomes a mess.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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