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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Having a horrible day. Need to vent... (long post sorry)

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Author Topic: Having a horrible day. Need to vent... (long post sorry)
paradijs
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Member # 13854

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Ergh, this is a confusing story so I'll try to make sense.

Last night my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue, no warning or anything. He said that I was too unhappy all of the time and he was tired of seeing me sad and depressed. Now I have clinical depression but I have got so much better in the past few months I feel amazing, I didn't even think I looked or sounded sad anymore (guess I was wrong). Now last week I got a horrible virus that made it very difficult to breathe and whenever I got the least bit nervous or upset, I would hyperventilate (sp). Well, last night when he broke up with me I couldn't breathe and I even had to vomit. So I said bye and hung up the phone quickly to go throw up. A few minutes later he calls and begs for me back, and I said yes. I was really embarrassed because I got so upset and hyperventilating while he wasn't even crying or anything but I took him back. Some history: I used to try and commit suicide/cut every chance I got and my boyfriend knew that, too. Now I'm scared the reason he took me back is because I quickly got off the phone, he probably thought I'd do something bad to myself. And that's my first problem....

On with the second. Tonight we got together with a few of his friends and just hung out in his friend's room. I'm a very plain dresser (jeans and tee shirt kind-of girl) and since we pretty much broke up last night I wanted to look real good for him. I wore a skirt (like almost down to my knees) in front of him and he went bonkers and was all over me, which made me sort of uncomfortable. He started to ride up my skirt and I slapped his hand and told him to stop, but he did a few more times. Finally I laid down on his friend's bed because I've been on my feet all day and I was upset because my grandpa just had a stroke. Well, "J" (boyfriend) comes over behind me (I had my head on a pillow and couldn't see what he was doing) and he lifts up the back of my skirt so gently I couldn't even feel it and he saw EVERYTHING. I am the most modest girl you could come by, so this really hurt me.

Now my third problem. J got mad at me because his friends "flirted" with me. Now I am comfortable with one of his friends "C" because he is my best friend also. C hugged me for a while from behind and had his hands right under my boobs, which made J mad. It was just a hug.... OK. With J's other friend, "M." He had this digital camera and it was C, J, and me goofing around and it turned out that M was taking pictures of my butt and when I wasn't looking, he put the cam. in between my legs and took the damn picture. I ran out of the house and cried, I was the worst thing ever, but J got pissed at C and M and broke the camera so they couldn't see. Are all guys this disgusting?

Sorry, I just had to vent.


Posts: 32 | From: Roanoke, VA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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Do you really think having a Y chromosome makes someone a slimebag? That's not how it works.

If your friends and boyfriend aren't respecting you, don't associate with them. If you're finding yourself upset enough to damage things, get out of the situation. That's all I can really suggest, other than seeking counselling for what are obviously serious problems for you.

Good luck!

------------------
Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, DNFTF, WAOTA

Get your philosophy from a bumper sticker

[This message has been edited by Milke (edited 07-20-2003).]


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tantilizin
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no, not all guys are that discusting.
but it seems that you really need to hang out with new ones! i say dump these losers and find guys who will make you smile instead of cry. no one wants to hang out with people that make them feel like crap!

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baby you're all that i want when your lying here in my arms, i'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven, and love is all that i need and i found it there in your heart, it isn't to hard to see, we're in heaven~


Posts: 43 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cathexis
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About your bioyifriend... have you tried telling him how much better you feel? It was probably hard for him to deal with it too and I think it does make people a little..paranoid over it. So, sometimes even when you're ok, but just quiet... they might think you're depressed again. I think telling him how much better you feel now would be good.
About him just being with you because of depression... I won't say its impossible but since he was all over you and so jealous of you, seems like he DOES care about you. But you still should talk to him about it, tell him how you actually feel instead of just letting him assume things.
About your friends... I don't think they're total slimebags. Maybe they didn't even know what they did would hurt you so bad but not everyone is THAT concerned about other people's feelings. They don't have how to know if you don't tell them. But seems like by now they already know how much you hate this kind of joke. It's up to you to decide whether they deserve a second chance or not.
Good luck ^_^

Posts: 106 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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