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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Did They Take it Out on You?

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Author Topic: Did They Take it Out on You?
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

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Have you ever been abused by someone who has, say, a mood disorder such as anxiety or depression, or a mental illness, and have then been told that the abuser was 'taking it out on you' in a very these-things-happen kind of manner?

I've noticed that this excuse for abuse seems to get trotted out quite a lot, when, needless to say, plenty of people have anxiety or depression, or a mental illness, and don't ever abuse anybody.

It's within the same vein as the Great 'They Just Couldn't Control Themselves' lie.

Have YOU ever had an experience with this one?

'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 46170

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My experience with my ex was actually very much like this, especially in the beginning of our relationship when things were just starting to escalate. He would often cite the impulsiveness that comes with ADHD as a reason for not respecting my boundaries and would insist he was trying to control himself, but that he simply couldn't be held to the same standards as others because of his disorder. In other words he would quite literally use the "couldn't control myself" line and use his ADHD as justification for it.
Posts: 245 | From: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I really hate it when the media uses mental illness as a reason to explain people's actions which were quite probably their own without any help from their illness. I have bi polar and wouldn't harm anyone. I find that people often judge me because of seeing that sort of thing on the news, as though I could be a danger to society.

When I get unwell im not a danger to anyone but myself. I know that sometimes illness does play a role in certain situations unfortunately however the majority of the time I think it's used as an excuse.

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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There's a boy at our high school who constantly gropes or cat calls girls, he's even gone as far as sexual assault and I heard rape too. This has been going on for years and he only ever gets a firm finger shaking because he has "a condition"
Don't even get me started on all the boyfriends who started sleeping around after the whole Tiger Woods scandal, claiming they have "sex addiction" and can't help it.

Posts: 30 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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