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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » freaking out need help

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Author Topic: freaking out need help
Member # 58263

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so im freaking out a bit and made a terrible decision. i had sex with my ex and am worried about pregnancy and std's. i know she was clean last spring for a random reason of hiv and all. i was also tested last spring as well so i know im clean since then at least. then this weekend i made the worst decision ever and had sex with her. only once, used a condom. it didnt break and there were no leaks i checked it by filling it with water at the end. however i did notice at one point during sex the condom towards teh top seemed loose, i adjusted it, and i had to pull the condom off forcefully after the act was over. so i dont think it slipped? during the act i did not orgasm, she gave me oral to finish, so i think im ok as far as pregnancy goes? but im still concerned about std's. i know i wore a condom but i still cant help but worry. for some reason im terrified of having HIV i dont know why but i just am. im not sure how many partners she had in the last few months but i dont think it was that many, i hope.

so my questions are

the condom appeared to be loose at the top, but i had to pull it off at the end and did not ejaculate during sex? am i likely good on no pregnancy?

as far as HIV goes should i be ok?

and finally what about other std's?

so nervous would love some help.

Posts: 6 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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So, here's the scoop with STI testing.

Ideally, we simply want to be regularly tested. Trying to get tested per-risk isn't really such a sound or workable plan, especially since it takes most infections a while to show up on tests if and when we have them.

If you were tested last spring, and the only other partner you have had since is the same partner you'd had then, then you can probably wait another six months for a new round of tests: once a year is a sound, basic schedule of testing for people who have been sexually active and who only have one or two partners during that time.

It also sounds like you have no reason to think your condom failed here (which doesn't give 100% protection against STIs regardless, but when, in a single use, it hasn't slipped off or broken, you can know did its job per pregnancy prevention). Filling condoms with water really isn't needed: when a condom breaks, you'll know. The notion of micro-tears no one can see is based in misinformation, mostly from abstinence-only agendas.

Per HIV specifically, that one is spread by fluids. So, if you had protection from her vaginal fluids and blood for all the kinds of sex you had -- your condom, unless there were other activities you didn't use one for -- you can know you were good there, too.

But again, being tested again right now wouldn't make sense either way: you'd still want to wait a couple months for another round of tests should you decide you don't want to wait until next spring to test again.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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