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Author Topic: Me again...
polkadots92
Neophyte
Member # 96514

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Hi! So my boyfriend and I were having sex and as he finished some of his sperm/semen slipped out of the base of the condom (ie, the "entrance" of the condom) and some of it got on me. I immediately washed myself and didn't see any other traces of it on me. I've been taking birth control pills for the past three months. I'm on time with all of my pills. Should I be worried?
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polkadots92
Neophyte
Member # 96514

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I feel like I'm asking the same questions whenever I write to Scarleteen. I'm just incredibly paranoid about my birth control not working, even though there is no reason for it not to. Do you have an article that explains how birth control pills work? I know that when used perfectly, they have a 99% success rate, but I can't get it in my head that they will protect me and that that's what their meant for.
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Jacob at Scarleteen
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 66249

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Hey Polka dots. Like you say, you do have a lot of these questions. But they don't really describe the real problem which sounds more like what you describe as not being able to accept that you're protected at all by birth control measures.

This isn't about what's 'ok' or what you 'should' feel or think. But could be about what needs you're not meeting that this seeking of answers might come from. Where do you think this might be coming from? Because you've stated that even if we answered this bc question that it wouldn't satisfy your paranoia.

You also actually are having sex... you don't have to if you're really worried. If there's no pleasure then there's no need to continue.

But it's also possible that worrying itself is something that is itself that makes you feel safer. For some people they can't feel they'll be safe unless stress has been involved.

Does any of that feel like it applies to you?

[ 10-09-2012, 07:48 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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To add to what Jacob said about it being okay for you to take a break from this kind of sexual activity, I think it's important to remember that ideally *any* sexual activity needs to feel good before (as in looking forward to it), during, after. With the number of times that you've expressed concern about pregnancy risks it sounds like the "after" isn't feeling so great for you, in general, right now.

That said, here are some articles about birth control pills.

Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)

How do birth control pills really work, even during the placebo period?

Three questions about taking the birth control pill (and plenty of answers)

Please let us know if you have questions about the information in these articles. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

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polkadots92
Neophyte
Member # 96514

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Thank you both so much for your help. I honestly can't tell you how helpful you are to me.
In response to about not having pleasure from sex,I don't think that's the case at all. I love my boyfriend and I've enjoyed having sex with him. From the very beginning he has never pressured me to do anything I was uncomfortable with. I was with him 10 months before we had intercourse. I haven't had these fears every time we've had sex, it's just mostly been where something out of the ordinary happens (like having sex without a condom or what happened last night) that makes me worried.
I think I just need to be better educated on some of these nit picky things for the future so that I know that is something out of what I ordinarily do, I won't have to freak out. I'm in college and I really don't want to get pregnant, which is where a lot of my irrational fear comes from. You both have done a lot to help calm those fears though. So thank you for that. Thank you for the articles too!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Also, sounds like you could improve how you're using condoms.

If semen slipped out, sounds like your boyfriend wasn't holding the base of the condom when he withdrew: does he know now he needs to always do that? Do both you and he feel educated on proper condom use to help you best avoid condom mishaps?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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polkadots92
Neophyte
Member # 96514

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No he wasn't, which he usually does, but for some reason that did not happen :/ From now on it will.
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