Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » General "first time" questions

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: General "first time" questions
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok Here Goes...

I'm a 22 year old girl studying abroad in spain for one semester. I've never had any long relationships or anything so I'm still a virgin, and I've never gone to the gynecologist. This is because according to my mom I shouldn't go unless I'm about to get married, this is in my interpretation her way of telling me she's expecting me to start my sex life after I'm married.
Anyway, I am here in Spain now and everything is moving really fast, I've been already fingered by 3 different guys and I was given oral sex by one of them, another one of them was with me in bed (boxers on) and just some intense handjobs.
So generally I'm starting to see that my sex life has actually started (duh), so I now want to go to a gynecologist, problem is, I'm still living of my parents money and I don't think I have enough to pay for one, and I don't know if I should ask my mother to send some because maybe she will be really angry at my "irresponsability" and whatnot. I was also wondering what kind of diseases could I have contracted from these guys! Well I actually have loads of more questions but so far this are the basic two problems.

Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In terms of STIs, manual sex, especially if you and/or they washed their hands, is very low risk when it comes to them. General bacterial infections are the main risk.

Unprotected oral sex can put people at potential risk of most STIs, just like unprotected intercourse can. It's lower risk than with intercourse, but those risks are still there, so with new partners, or longtime partners where things aren't exclusive or people haven't been tested, it's ideal to protect yourselves with condoms or dental dams.

I'm afraid I don't know what the system in like in Spain when it comes to women's sexual healthcare, but I'm willing to bet you can find a way to start seeing a provider (which you'd have wanted to do even without any sexual activity: pap smears should start by age 21 or after a year or two of sexual activity, whichever comes first) without asking your mother. But, since the guidelines also are different for your health than her ideas of when to see a GYN, you also have the option of just telling her about those health guidelines without disclosing your sexual activity if that's what you'd prefer.

However, since it seems like you're in a study program, do you have an advisor or any paperwork which can detail your healthcare options? I'm willing to bet you can get seen there without having to involve your mother at all if that's not something you want to do.

[ 03-22-2012, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm ashamed to say that none of us washed our hands, we were a little drunk and the manual sex happened while at the club and the morning after in my home. Then while the oral sex he didn't clean his mouth, and he had smoked cigarrettes and drank, as far as I can tell.

About the GYN, I'm going to ask a friend who lives here how does that work, I have an insurance policy but I'm not sure if it covers OB/GYN expenses, I'll have to look into that.

So let's suppose that I have the chance to go to one, which tests should I take? How much they cost, and what kind of STI's could I have already? I'm a little scared, I didn't know that oral sex could get me so much diseases :S

Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
HI There,

I can understand how this is scary. Seeing a gynecologist is really just part of routine health care.

Asking your friend for resources is a great idea.

It's also a good idea, depending on coverage and funding, to get a complete STI screening.


You may find this information on STIs and STI testing helpful.


[/url]

[url=http://www.scarleteen.com/article/infection/testing_testing]Testing, Testing...


--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So how much aprox is the whole test? And how much could I possibly know from a standard GYN revision?
Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's really hard to say how much the tests will cost. It all depends on where you have the tests, if and how much your insurance covers, etc.

Gynecologists don't usually perform STI testing unless it comes up in discussion with the patient; that is, unless it's asked for. Gynecologists assess pelvic health, look for infections, and conduct Pap smears; they take cells from the cervix for testing to see if they're normal or abnormal. Abnormal cells can mean a lot of different things and a doctor would follow up with you on that.

Your First Gynecologist Visit

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, I have a Groupon offer for the following: GYN revision with Ecography, do you think this will be enough?
Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh I'm actually afraid of all the diseases I could have now D:
Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Saffron Raymie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey whathappensinspain, it's okay; we're here to talk you through this. It's not a high risk for STIs to be the person with a vulva in vulva-to-mouth contact. Oral sex is more of an STI risk for the person with the mouth than the genitals; and it's less likely that anything will be transmitted if you have a vulva than if you have a penis.

I'm afraid I'm not sure how things work over there, but can you post your postal or zip code (or email it to me at raeATscarleteenDOTcom) and I can have a look to see if there's anywhere that tests for STIs near you, and then look into any possible costs for a full test.

Just for your info, it's actually a good thing that the person who's mouth it was in the mouth-to-vulva contact didn't brush his teeth or mouth beforehand in terms of STIs.

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
whathappensinspain
Neophyte
Member # 95344

Icon 1 posted      Profile for whathappensinspain     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok some good news sound so refreshing, thank you, I just want to take the tests, even if there is low risk [Big Grin] . Thank you again for the support. I will mail you my zip code!

This week I haven't had any kind of sexual encounters, good thing is that I got my period and everything seems normal, I have noticed though, when I got to Spain, my periods have been less intense than when I was in my country, is this normal?

Posts: 15 | From: Spain | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Saffron Raymie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah, it's always a sound idea to test fully when we're engaging in any kind of sex, at any time. It's very likely that your periods seem different because of changes in your lifestyle when you're in Spain as opposed to the country you were in before; changes to your diet, rest and sleep patterns, hydration, and general big changes of spending all your time in another country since then. I don't see a cause for concern. [Smile]

I did find somewhere; let me know if it's no good or doesn't test for all STIs (and sorry about the mix of languages here!):

Center for AIDS Information and Prevention (CIPS)
San Lázaro s/n San Lazaro s / n (In the hospital - Doctor Peset).
46017 Valencia
Tel. 963 170 440
Hours: 9:00 to 14:30. Solicitar cita previa. Request appointment.

Tel. gratuito de información sobre sida: 900 702 020 (ámbito comunitario) (translation: Toll-free information on AIDS: 900,702,020 (community level)).

From what I could tell, it seemed that there may not be a cost, but it might be best to give them a call and check that.

Just in case you need it, here's the Spanish for "I would like to be tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections. Please may I have some information on how much this will cost me?"

"Me gustaría hacerse la prueba de Infecciones de Transmisión Sexual. Por favor, es posible que tenga alguna información sobre lo mucho que esto me va a costar?"

I know it's unlikely you needed that, but I had it to hand, so! [Smile] Good luck calling them up, whathappensinspain.

[ 03-25-2012, 05:20 AM: Message edited by: Saffron Reimi ]

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen