Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Pain instead of orgasm?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Pain instead of orgasm?
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 8 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Has anyone ever heard of having pain when you expect to have an orgasm? This happens to me every time and I don't understand why or how. I suspect that I suffer from sexual anhedonia, or something, because I've heard about guys ejaculating without any associated pleasure, and I'm wondering if girls can get the same thing? I would really appreciate your input, this is really frustrating.
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Can you fill us in a bit more with some specifics? here is the pain, for instance, and are you also experiencing pleasure up to that point?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well... I used to be able to get aroused very easily, and I still do to a point but it's different. I used to get that fire in your belly kind of feeling and the pleasure would be all over. Now it feels localized to my genitals, like even though I feel turned on it's the lowest level of "turned on" possible, like it's mostly just my body that's turned on and I very very rarely feel incredibly turned on anymore.

The pain is in the clit- not a stinging or burning but it just gets so sensitive and then my muscles contract and everything and even the slightest touch (just there) is painful. It feels just like I'm having an orgasm, except without all that pleasure, because I feel almost depressed afterwards, more or less normal save for feeling completely dissatisfied. ALL the pleasure is gone once the pain or I should say sensitivity starts, even if I decide not to touch it at that point. I read that when you're turned on you have an surge of dopamine and that when you have an orgasm, you have a surge of prolactin, which I think causes the down time after an orgasm- it feels like that.

This happens whether it's me or anyone else touching it, and it's not because they're being too rough, not at all. But if I have sex with someone and don't stimulate the clit, the pain never occurs but I can still be turned on. I know if I could touch it during sex it would be a lot better, but then I would have the pain!

It's driving me nuts. I read about guys experiencing the same thing if they had sexual anhedonia, that they could have an orgasm and not feel pleasure from it but I'm 19 I shouldn't be experiencing a lack of arousal when I was fine before! I've had an orgasm only once before, a long time ago. Is it possible I have this?

[ 05-20-2010, 10:08 AM: Message edited by: SushinCoke ]

Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, is all of this happening during all kinds of sex, including masturbation, or just with some kinds of sex or only partnered sex?

Orgasm is a whole-body event that's mostly in and centered around our central nervous system: we feel some effects of it genitally, but it's not focused just on genitals. Do you know what I mean? Have you had orgasm before where you felt it whole body, instead of just having pleasure raise then seem to peak with nothing but clitoral pain?

Also, HAVE you had kinds of sex that are about mostly clitoral touch the whole time? If so, was it painful throughout? If so, when you felt lie you peaked (if you did), and you had you or your partner stop clitoral stimulus, did it hurt then? One reason I ask that is because of all the nerve endings in the clitoral shaft it is common for people to find that after orgasm, it's very hypersensitive and stimulus right after CAN feel like too much, or be uncomfortable.

(I do want to make clear that the idea that there are normal and not normal ages to have issues with orgasm is a false idea. There's no "normal" age to have issues or an age when it isn't normal because of someone's age.)

[ 05-20-2010, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, it happens during any kind of sex that stimulates the clit. I gave myself an orgasm once before, and that was definitely a whole body experience. But I haven't been able to make that happen since. I have had sex focused on the clitoris, and it never hurts until the end, it feels fine until the pain starts.

What happens is that I can feel myself peaking in a way, but really I can just feel the pain coming on, like a train or something. It gets somewhat more pleasurable, and then the pain starts. I usually stop them before the pain hits me, and if I don't it hurts a lot.

[ 05-20-2010, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: SushinCoke ]

Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, that helped to fill me in. Thanks. [Smile]

So, first things first: have you started by seeing a gynecologist to make sure that physically, everything is okay? Because it's so sensitive, for instance, even a minor infection or a small, hidden bartholin's cyst could be contributing to this.

[ 05-20-2010, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, I've seen my gyno twice in the last year, and everything is perfectly normal. The only thing thats odd to me is my periods are slightly abnormal, but she said its normal to not get it every month.
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't mean to be redundant, but you told her about this pain, and she did what seemed like a thorough investigation to you? Did she have anything at all to say about it?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I actually didn't talk to her about it, I wanted to ask her but I wasn't sure how to bring it up because I wasn't sure if it's okay to talk to your GYN about a lack of orgasms. I know I should have just asked but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable if this isn't a normal thing to do.
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay. So, unless you brought it up and she did examinations about this, then it really wasn't addressed. Women asking about genital pain with any kind of sex is absolutely something women talk to OB/GYNs about: it's more than okay. You could certainly also ask about a lack of orgasm, but since that's mostly about the brain and central nervous system, not the genitals, that's not likely a gynecological issue EXCEPT if the pain and discomfort is keeping you from orgasm, which is certainly could be, both in the experience of it and the anticipation of that pain. The pain seems to be the real ish for your GYN, here.

Can you get in and see her again? Because if there is something physical underlying all of this, my ruminating or talking with you as if there isn't just isn't going to be useful to you. Of course, if there's something physical that needs treatment, not being seen for this and us gabbing as if there isn't also could keep you from treatment you may need.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, I can try to see her sometime in the next few weeks. Thank you so much for your response! I know that it's hard for me now to get turned on because I expect pain instead of pleasure, maybe that's partly why I can't get turned on much anymore. I just have no idea why this pain occurs, none of my friends have ever experienced or heard of this.
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Pain like you're describing is not something new to me, but there can just be so many different reasons for it when omen experience it.

So, it'd be great if you could get in to see her again and give her all this info and let her look and see what she does. In the meantime, my best suggestion is to both avoid anything that causes you pain, but also not to engage in sex or masturbation when you are NOT feeling very aroused or turned on, which all by itself, can potentially cause pain instead of pleasure.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SushinCoke
Neophyte
Member # 44472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SushinCoke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'll definitely try to see her soon, then. Thank you so much! [Smile]
Posts: 8 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Of course. If she does NOT find anything in her examination, please feel free to come on back, and we can then address the other possibilities with you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just a few additions: I asked for Dr. Ruthie, another educator who volunteers for us to eyeball this and she added a few extra thoughts:

- Are you taking any antidepressents and anti-anxiety medications? Any heart and blood pressure meds, chemotherapy, etc.

- Are you using a lubricant rhoughout all or any of this activity?

- Make sure your GYN also checks for a bladder infection, as that's another kind of infection that can potentially cause pain like this.

Ruthie also asked if you could stimulate the clitoral shaft (rather than the glans) without pain? Does it still hurt if you this area, not the glans?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Niketa
Neophyte
Member # 47151

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Niketa     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
alright!this is the first time i'm using scarleteen. i posted a question but never got any reply. i guess this is the only way i might find an answer. the thing is around two months back my bf and i had unprotected sex for the first time but since it pained too much we couldn't continue it for more than two-three minutes. i took an i-pill for safety and had my periods thrice after that. recently i had my periods within two weeks from my last periods.now what i want to know is whether it is safe to have sex during periods or within two days from the last day of periods, even when he is using a condom.btw, i'm undergoing homeopathic treatment for irregular periods. plz reply. i need good advice.it's getting harder for me. my bf and i had fights regarding this. all his friends enjoy with their girlfriends,have sex.he feels that he has a boring gf.plz help!

--------------------
fvgbnvb

Posts: 2 | From: gbh | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Niketa
Neophyte
Member # 47151

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Niketa     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
alright!this is the first time i'm using scarleteen. i posted a question but never got any reply. i guess this is the only way i might find an answer. the thing is around two months back my bf and i had unprotected sex for the first time but since it pained too much we couldn't continue it for more than two-three minutes. i took an i-pill for safety and had my periods thrice after that. recently i had my periods within two weeks from my last periods.now what i want to know is whether it is safe to have sex during periods or within two days from the last day of periods, even when he is using a condom.btw, i'm undergoing homeopathic treatment for irregular periods. plz reply. i need good advice.it's getting harder for me. my bf and i had fights regarding this. all his friends enjoy with their girlfriends,have sex.he feels that he has a boring gf.plz help!

--------------------
fvgbnvb

Posts: 2 | From: gbh | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Nikita: in the future, when you have your own, unrelated topic, can you use the "post new topic" button instead of adding a post to someone else's thread about a different topic? Thanks!

It's fine to have sex during periods or at any time of your cycle if you want to. Take a look here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/sex_period

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eric22
Neophyte
Member # 78437

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Eric22     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi sushincoke, did you make Some progress at your gyn? I know this post was a long time ago so i hope you read this! My girlfriend seems to have the Same problem. Instead of an orgasm her clit starts to hurt a lot and we have tried a lot but nothing seems to work. As a result my girlfriend had never reach an orgasm in het life and it really effects her sexual well being. if any one could help us i Would be so greatfull!!
Posts: 1 | From: The Netherlands | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Stephanie_1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Eric22: This area is for staff and volunteer replies only - and the post is from over a year ago meaning the topic is likely not even relevant to the original poster. Please keep to the areas other than Emergencies and Crises and Ask Scarleteen and more current posts with replies. Thanks [Smile]

--------------------
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
iammischief
Neophyte
Member # 95605

Icon 1 posted      Profile for iammischief     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
SushinCoke, I don't know if you are on here ever, but I am really desperate to talk to you. I have never in my life encountered someone who has such similar symptoms as me, and I am wondering if I could talk to you. Please message me or reply back!
Posts: 2 | From: Albertah | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Saffron Raymie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome to Scarleteen, iammischief. I'm afraid SushinCoke was here a long time ago, so may not still be around. However, this is an area for Staff and volunteer replies only - although we're more than happy to address your concerns about and troubles with pain with orgasm, and can talk you through those in a new topic of your own. You can make a new topic by clicking on the 'New Topic' icon in the top right of the screen. Thanks a lot. [Smile]

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen