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Author Topic: I'm SCARED...
CourtnieJohnson12
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Hi, my name is Courtnie. I'm going to make this short and to the point b/c I really need some expert advice on how serious my situation could possibly be. I'm 19 years old, and I've been in a relationship for the past year & a half. I love him with all of my heart, but we had sex for the first time Saturday (9/22/2007) so it's been almost 2 days since we had intercourse. Things just got carried away since i'm off at college and we haven't seen one another in so long. He didn't use protection (DUMB I KNOW) and i'm not on birth control b/c i've never had a reason. The morning after we had sex, it happened again that morning and i'm positive he didn't pull out, i'm scared to death. I felt lots of wetness and I know it was from me but i'm positive it was from him also. I drove to my best friend Ally's house about an hour or two after this happened, and I was freaking out b/c so much was running through my mind. I waiting until around 5:30 to go get PLAN B b/c I didn't know what else to do. I took the pill at exactly 5:30, waited 12 hours afterwards but I took it at 14 hours instead. (Will that put me at a higher risk of being pregnant?) Could I be pregnant right now? How long does it take for the sperm to reach the egg after he's ejaculated? If he didn't pull out and he did ejaculate inside me does that mean I could be pregnant even after I took PLAN B? I have so many questions and no answers... so if you would please respond it would be a blessing. Thank You!

[ 09-24-2007, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: CourtnieJohnson12 ]

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Courtnie Johnson

Posts: 13 | From: Greensboro, NC | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Pregnancy isn't instantaneous, and it isn't definite. There has to be an egg for the sperm to meet, and there has to be penetration of the sperm into the egg. THEN the egg and sperm have to implant in the uterus. It takes a few days, minimum. This is why Plan B is effective when it is (up to 120 hours after the risk).

Plan B is up to 80% effective when taken up to 72 hours after the risk. Taking the second pill when you did should not greatly affect anything.

You've done all you can do, at this point in time. You now need to plan for the future. You need to discuss this at length with your partner ... Your readiness for sex, what you would do in the case of pregnancy, and how you wish to prevent pregnancy from now on.

You and your partner are also at risk for STIs. If you haven't BOTH been tested, and are monogomous, you need to be using condoms (only condoms can prevent STIs).

Here are some articles you should check out;

Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction
Margaret Sanger's Disneyland: Choosing Contraceptives
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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CourtnieJohnson12
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Thank you so much for replying! I've been so worried for the past couple of days. I'm sorry for posting that twice, I tried to delete the first one but it said only Staff could delete the post? Hm...

Should I still be worried about pregnancy though even if I took PLAN B.? I want to take care of this without informing him that I might be pregnant. We both are too young to handle this right now, which I've always believe this but I’m so ashamed that I’ve let things get to this point. I've always been taught safe sex/abstinence etc., but somehow I’ve gotten my life out of order.

Since I took the 2nd pill so late it may not be effective right? Also, I should be starting my period this weekend; it comes almost every two weeks? Could you please tell me the right time I should buy a home pregnancy test, if you believe it's necessary?

I just want to take all the necessary precautions; I could handle having a baby but its wrong timing.

Thank You.

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Courtnie Johnson

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LilBlueSmurf
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Yes, only volunteers and staff can delete posts.

Worrying about it now isn't going to get you far. And as i said above, you've done all you can do right now.

Is there a reason you don't want to talk to your partner about this? I think you really NEED to talk to your partner about this. He needs to know that you both made a mistake that cannot happen again. He may also be of some support to you in the meantime.

Plan B should be effective for you, even though you took the second pill late. A few hours shouldn't make a huge difference.

How long has your period been coming every two weeks? Have you seen your doctor about this? If not, you need to.

Pregnancy tests are accurate the first day of a missed period or 10-14 days after the risk. At this point though, because you took the Plan B, your risk greatly decreased. I would wait until you are a few days (or more) late for your period to take a test.

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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CourtnieJohnson12
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There are alot of reasons I don't feel comfortable talking to him about. I know that I love him, but it's been very complicated between us for the past few months. He's always been great about not pressuring me into having sex but it just happened Saturday and I have no regrets excpet we didn't use protection. I've been so scared about all of this that i'm not sure I want to be with him anymore. It's not just b/c of the pregnancy scare but it's alot more than that.

My period has always been irregular, but since my senior year it started coming at a regular time every (2 weeks). I know this b/c I go home every two weeks from school and i'm usually on my period.

I realize i've made a major mistake by having unprotected sex, but i'm scared to talk to him about this. I feel like we're already so distant, and I almost felt like having sex would fix things & bring us closer together. Truthfully, it's been a huge reality check and I need space.

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Courtnie Johnson

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LilBlueSmurf
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If you're not able to discuss contraception and possible pregnancy with your partner, this is NOT someone you should be having sex with. But i'm sure you see that by now ...

You need to see your doctor about your periods. This is not normal and needs to be assessed.

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I also wanted to make sure that you knew that LOTS of people have the experience you did.

There is so much cultural mythology and idealism around intercourse, it's impossible for nearly anyone to escape. It's also really hard both to have realistic expectations that given, but also impossible to predict the results. Sure, it can make some people feel closer, but it can make other people wish they were further apart, or really illustrated a distance that's already there when that closeness doesn't happen.

And that's tough for anyone, especially when you then toss worries about pregnancy and health on top of all that.

I just wanted to be sure you knew you weren't alone in all of that, and wanted to encourage you to at least find a close friend to talk to about this so that you can unload all you're feeling, particularly since you don't feel able to talk to your partner. hang in there!

[ 09-24-2007, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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CourtnieJohnson12
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Heather, Thank you so much for this post. I really have felt so alone through all of this and just hearing you say those things have really helped me see that it's going to be okay. I feel like a horrible person because my boyfriend has called every single day since we had sex, but I haven't answered. I don't even know what to say to him about everything that’s happened. It's sad that I can't confide in him even though I know that I could...he's a wonderful guy, things have just been so complicated lately. I would hate to scare him with something that might not even happen, such as me being pregnant. Is there still a chance that I could be? Do you think it is necessary that I call him and tell him there is a chance?
Since I haven't been able to discuss this pregnancy scare with him, I have realized how blessed I am to have such a great best friend. She has helped me through all of this; she was with me when I went to get the EC. I don't think I could've faced this alone. I'm just hoping and praying, that I didn't wait too late to get the Plan B EC though.
I know this is a really long post and I’m sorry for taking up your time. Thank you so much for being so understanding.

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Courtnie Johnson

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Given that you got Plan B so soon, I'd class your risk as very low at this point.

Too, no one is obligated to tell a partner when they are having a pregnancy scare. It can be a really weird thing to deal with between men and women, just because the stakes are so different: after all, they aren't the ones who might be pregnant, you are. So, as far as I'm concerned, telling him or not -- now or later -- is 100% your call, based on whatever feels best for you right now.

I would advise not just blowing off his calls, though. He may have had a very different experience than you did, and first-time sex can really do a nukmber on a person. Having a partner just blow you off utterly afterwards can really, really hurt and feel very scary.

So, instead, I'd suggest either calling him and letting him know you're sorry about not talking to him, but that the experience left you feeling very confused and wanting some space for yourself.

Really, I'd just do that: I don't know the whole story here, but unless something else happened, not calling at all just isn't kind.

And you're welcome, absolutely.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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CourtnieJohnson12
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Today, i've been a paranoid mess. I was supposed to start my period today and I haven't. I start my period at this same time every 2 weeks. I'm not sure why I haven't started and i'm panicking. It might come tomorrow but it's not likely. Could the EC cause my period to be irregular? Would it be to soon for me to buy a pregnancy test this weekend if we had sex on the 22nd? Answers would be much appreciating, thank you so much!

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Courtnie Johnson

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Heather
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Well, you shouldn't be getting your period every two weeks.

While by no means is everyone on an every 28-days-cycle, every two weeks bleeding indicates something is going on besides a period.

And yep; EC can absolutely toss your cycles off for a bit.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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CourtnieJohnson12
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Hi! I just recently got back to school today from being home for the weekend. I've been paranoid and stressed out all weekend & i'm not sure what to do about it. I still haven't started my period, I had sex on Sept. 22nd...so it's been almost 10 days since we had intercourse and i'm still not having my period. Is it to soon to buy a pregnancy test? Thank you.

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Courtnie Johnson

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-Lauren-
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EC will throw off this month's cycle; you really can't expect it to be regular at all this time around.

If you'd like to take a test, it's best to wait until 14 days past the pregnancy risk. Plus, waiting a few more days will give your period some leeway in which to appear. [Smile]

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La Land
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Courtnie, we're in the same situation. I'm curious to do that did u get pregnant ? Thanks!
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-Lauren-
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(Courtnie posted in this area because she doesn't want regular users responding, however well intentioned you might be. If you have a question about your own pregnancy risk, though, please check out the sticky at the top of the Emergencies and Crisis forum to assess your own pregnancy risk. If anything remains unclear, feel free to make a post of your own! [Smile] )
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