When you say see him again, do you mean have sex? Because it sounds to me like it was something that over all didn't feel good to you.
I think maybe it'd be really good for you to think about sex and how you feel about it in general, and where this feeling of guilt is coming from.
It might be that you don't have the support that you need right now to feel supported, by friends or familly in being sexually active. That can really make us feel guilty, despite really not really doing anything wrong.
What it does mean is that if we are having sex then it'll be a lot harder to deal with what comes with that, risks of pregnancy or STI's, getting hold of ways of reducing those risks (contraception and barriers). So you would need to make sure practically is that you know you can deal with that, get hold of, for yourself, what you know you need and want for the safe sex you'd like, and that you feel comfortable taking responsibility for things if you get pregnant for example. So maybe feeling guilty doesn't mean you're doing anything 'wrong' but maybe it's part of something bigger that is maybe telling you that you don't really want or feel ready for sex right now.
It could also be cultural or religious attitudes to sex, or media portrayals of sexuality have had a strong impact on you. In which case the important thing is to think about where your personal guilt comes from... knowing what something is made of is the best way of being able to have control over it.
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
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