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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » dirty text messages

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Author Topic: dirty text messages
Member # 95505

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I am 15 turning 16 yrs old in October and I recently just got involved with about 5 guys that all want to take my virginity and all I wanted to do was have a fun conversation on the phone. I text all of them everyday and each one of them say they really want to have sex but I didn't want to go that far. Now all of them expect for me to have sex with them and I've never even masterbated before (I could really use step by step directions). I feel as if I should have sex with all of them that way it doesn't look like I was playing them but at the same time I really wouldn't know what to do during the sex (again tips). Help!!!
Posts: 5 | From: Dover,DE | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Hi thing1, good on you for coming to Scarleteen to talk about this. It sounds like you were wanting to have fun phone conversations with guys, but now you're feeling pressured to have sex with them although you don't really want to. Have I got that right?

Please know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. Having a conversation with someone, flirting with them, talking about sex with them....none of that means that you're 'playing them'. Even if you told someone that you want to have sex with them, you're allowed to change your mind later- it's your body and your decision. Any reasonable person should be able to understand that.

How would you find it to talk to these guys about not feeling ready for sex yet?

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Burdened with glorious booty
Member # 93241

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No one should ever feel like they SHOULD have sex with them, nor should your friends just expect you to have sex with them based on what I'm going to assume was a joke, or a bizarre conversation. Just tell them the truth - that you don't want to have sex with them. And if they get angry, ask them why - because no one should be angry with you when you're only doing what you feel comfortable with. Basically, don't do anything you don't want to do.


Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Btw, I'd say that all these guys sound like bad news, and more contact with them at ALL is probably a bad idea.

That's not to say that texting sexual stuff has to be bad: it doesn't. But people framing sex with you as 'wanting to take your virginity," and framing email sexual play as you owing them anything are giving clear messages that THEY aren't people who are safe or sound to be sexually engaged with in any way, including with your cell phone or computer, okay?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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