Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » gay myths (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   
Author Topic: gay myths
Nailo
Activist
Member # 26390

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nailo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There's no doubt there's lots of myths on sexuality.What have you heard about orientation?

Just thought I'd share this one: Yesterday, a classmate of mine said that it could be proven that homosexuality (in men's case) is wrong. He said that because gay men can only have anal sex, and this is wrong because the anus can actually be "extracted" through this practice. In other words, if two men have anal sex, the one receiving can end up with his anus hanging out, stuck to his partner's penis. He was really convinced about this because a philosofy teacher at school said that to the class. This teacher is currently writing a book about sexuality, and considers it his passion.

Why he didn't think about the fact that heterosexuals may also engage in anal sex, I don't know.

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...or the fact that the anus cannot be pulled "out" of the rectum.

Good gawd.

He might also have thought about the fact that a great many gay men do NOT engage in anal sex.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
Activist
Member # 26390

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nailo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Another one:

Bisexuality is really just a phase many confused people go through. At some point in their lives, these people always end up choosing one side or another.

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The trouble countering that one often is that most people end up choosing MONOGAMY in their long-term partnerships.

So, it's presumed that rather than choosing one person to partner with, we're choosing one gender. Which, effectively, if we choose monogamy, we are, but no more so for most people than say, a person is choosing one race they're attracted to by choosing a partner of a given race.

Of course, there's always the ever-popular "Lesbians hate men."

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
... and the "Guys who grew up without a male role-model will become gay".

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
Activist
Member # 27369

Icon 1 posted      Profile for origami_jane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What about "lesbians are that way just because they haven't met the right man yet"?

I get that a lot from my mom when she tries to explain to herself why I don't date, even though she thinks I'm straight.

Someone on here said their mom used a similar expression involving lesbians just "needing a big, juicy steak." *laughs*

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kitka
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22756

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kitka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
heh... the "all male role model" is very easily disproved by my heterosexual and nearly always ready-to-go Irish boyfriend.

"All lesbians are butch - short-haired and manly-looking."

"All gay men are effeminate."

I once dated a very masculine guy - the typical all-American. Turned out he had experimented with other guys in the past, and had identified as gay for a long time.

[ 05-13-2006, 01:05 AM: Message edited by: kitka ]

Posts: 455 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I personally love the "situational homosexuality" myths.

Prisoners and truckers. That's all I need say.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
Activist
Member # 27369

Icon 1 posted      Profile for origami_jane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think that there is some truth to the "gay prison sex" stories, though. I might be wrong, but I think I read that there's a lot of guard/prisoner rape and prisoner/prisoner rape, and the guards and other prisoners are often of the same sex.

I guess it (pretty brutally) establishes a power structure inside the prison.... and maybe it's excluded when someone is determining his/her sexual orientation because it was never about attraction, it was about power and dominence.


Dunno about the truckers. Isn't there one about all female truckers are lesbians?

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I personally love the "situational homosexuality" myths.

What do you mean by "myth" in this context?

As far as I know, "situational homosexuality" is used to refer to the fact that given a prolonged period in a situation where the only sexual opportunities are same-gender, many people will engage in sexual activity even if, outside that context, they identify as completely "straight".

It seems fairly clear that the phenomenon exists, however you want to interpret it.

--------------------
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I wasn't saying that I believe situational homosexuality is a myth.

I was simply stating that those two situations are ones in which, at least in my experiences, it's implied that ALL of the men/women involved resort to homosexuality.

And yes, all female truckers being gay is one I've heard. And mechanics. And tennis players. The list goes on.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
Activist
Member # 26390

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nailo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I used to have a trans friend, whose father was positive his "son" could not possibly be trans. Why? Because she had always liked firearms.

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(Interesting to note, always, with things like this, how many myths and sterotypes about orientation are actually based in sterotypes about gender.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fallchild
Activist
Member # 28780

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fallchild         Edit/Delete Post 
I recently came out and identified myself as a female bisexual. I felt fantastic closure when I finally accepted this and found pride in it (i was nervous about coming out because my family's religion, but not mine, is EXTREMELY restrictive). However, I ran into a little confusion when my step-dad told me that he believes bisexuality is the "thing", "fad", "trend", call it what you like, not a valid sexual orientation. Am I just being trendy? I firmly don't think so, but I'm not sure now. Any opinions on this idea?

(This might not belong in this thread, but I think it goes with this myth idea. If it doesn't belong though, feel free to move it.)

--------------------
"It's better to die on your feet than live down on your knees"

Posts: 117 | From: SLC, UT | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
Activist
Member # 27369

Icon 1 posted      Profile for origami_jane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah, there's a lot of myths about bisexuality, and that's because people often think of sexuality as a switch: straight or gay... when really it's more like ....... oooooh, lemme make a school supply metaphor for this!!

Okay, some people think sexuality is like a plain graphite pencil on paper. It's black or white. But I subscribe to the idea that sexuality is like a huge-o box of colored pencils--comes in a wide range of shades and often has names that people disagree on. Like "burnt sienna"---what is that?

Nailo wrote something earlier on this thread, and I think Miz S had a better response to this than I could write up.

(Oh, and the school-supply metaphor? Totally based off of This Thread.)

[ 05-15-2006, 05:52 PM: Message edited by: origami_jane ]

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Per your folks, fallchild, give it time.

It's pretty difficult for a lot of people to accept bisexuality, especially given that since most people choose monogamy, it's even trickier to wrap one's head around sexuality that isn't simple either/or.

And if you're not dting someone same-sex, it's all going to be academic to them anyway: it's not like they can feel what you feel like, or read your mind to understand your attraction base.

I'm 36 years old. I've had boyfriends and girlfriends of all genders since I was literally 11. And I can say in all honesty that even as of two years ago, when I had a female partner with me at a family function, a lot of my family STILL didn't get it, though over the years, they do seem to get it a little more each time, and are certainly much more accepting than most of them were in my teens.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
Activist
Member # 26390

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nailo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Fallchild: you read my mind. I was going to post the exact same myth. You see, my dad says the same thing all the time. "People think it's so cool to be gay now, it's like it's a fashion statement!" My mom says that sometimes too. I always tell her that more people are coming out now because it's easier. If someone came out when the inquisition was still going around, they would be burnt to crisps in no time. Therefore, people did not see it wise to say if they were gay. I even heard once that Leonardo da Vinci was hiding from the inquisition because he was gay. You don't even have to go that far back to see similar discrimination. Now, at least, people are opening up a little. Why do I think more people are coming out? Because thank goodness, now lots of us don't have to worry about getting stoned to death because of it. Doesn't mean millions of people suddenly decided to "become" gay for the heck of it.

Heard an aweful myth the other day. Another classmate said that homosexuals should never, under no circumstance be allowed to adopt children, because the children come out "wrong". She probably meant they also become gay. Yea, just like heterosexuals can only have heterosexual children.

On a different branch: I read somewhere on here that homosexuality can be found in other species too? I'll believe that. I had gay rabbits once! We had two males and a female, and the males would leave the female aside and go hump each other. Happened with two pairs of rabbits, actually. With the other, we thought we had bought a female and a male because they would be at it all day, but they ended up being two males. It was really quite funny [Razz]

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
Activist
Member # 27369

Icon 1 posted      Profile for origami_jane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sadly, that adoption myth is widely believed. Which is a shame, because I had a friend raised by her biological mother and her mother's partner, and she's straight. My brother also has a friend whom I think is being raised by a lesbian couple (my mom got really uncomfortable when I asked about the girl's family and mumbled something about her "other mom."), and she and her sister are both straight. (Then again, the friend is 12, so it might still be up in the air.)

Similarly, people (like my parents) also believe that homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to teach or lead youth groups (Boy Scouts, etc). I can explain it better by paraphrasing the conversation I had with my mom about it.

Me: (reading article about gay teachers) Do you think gay people should be allowed to be teachers?
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: Well, why not?
Mom: Is Ms. F gay?
Me: No, she's had like four husbands. She's the Liz Taylor of the school.
Mom: Oh. Well, does she talk about her husbands?
Me: Uh... yeah.
Mom: And if she were gay, she'd talk about her....... girlfriend. And if she's in a position of authority over you, and talking about her girlfriend, then that's like telling the whole class that her choice of lifestyle is okay. Which it's not. I don't think that their lifestyle is right and I don't want anyone... especially my children..... to be exposed to that kind of thinking.
Me: (seethes silently) Whatev. (walks away)

In my experience, that's the kind of thinking in my area, and I think it's pretty common across the country (or at least, that's what friends in NC, AR, TX, WV, etc say).

Anyway, I read an article about gay sheep, and they do the same thing--ignore the females. Pandas too, I think. And wasn't there something about a baby penguin raised by two male penguins?

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PenguinBoy
Activist
Member # 28394

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PenguinBoy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hell yeah for the penguin child! hehe. nailo!! i loved the story bout the rabits which made me giggle.

My mum who i thought wasn't a conservative still thinks that kids with same sex parents will have long term psychological problems.

It annoys me that these myths just make it almost impossible for queer people to make mistakes or have problems without it being blamed on their sexuality!

There were 2 gay penguins in lonon zoo also as i recall, and there were loads of protests which were against seperating them. as the zoo had planned to do. luckilly they were left together. [Smile] [Smile]

Tell that to the fools who claim that the "march of the penguins" is proof that the lord himself thinks everyone should be hetrosexual.

--------------------
Jacob - my Scarleteen Blog - Please help sustain scarleteen

Posts: 633 | From: Bedfordshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You can find homosexuality in almost any animal species, actually - plenty of primates, including chimpanzees (our closest relatives) and almost any other species you can think of. It's pretty well-documented.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
catalinacisne
Activist
Member # 27839

Icon 1 posted      Profile for catalinacisne     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Two male penguins at the San Francisco zoo attempted to hatch a rock together. The zoo keepers then gave the two of them an abandoned egg, and their penguin-baby is doing fine. The two male penguins are still partners. *sighs contentedly*

--------------------
amawesome - (adj.) a combination of 'amazing' and 'awesome,' usually by someone who has tied on a few too many. Ex: No, dude, listen! I like, luv ya man! I mean, you're like, amawesome!

Posts: 65 | From: Colorado Springs, CO | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BelleMorte
Activist
Member # 27890

Icon 1 posted      Profile for BelleMorte     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Or how about the ever popular "You can't be bisexual/ gay, you're Christian (or other faith)"

And I have to say "Awwwwwwwwww!" about the two male pengiuns. That is so cute!

--------------------
"Ne donne un baiser, ma mie, que la bague au doigt" -Méphistophélès from Faust (Don't give a kiss, my sweetheart, until the ring is on your finger)

Posts: 44 | From: Oregon | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BelleMorte
Activist
Member # 27890

Icon 1 posted      Profile for BelleMorte     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
O, and what about people who think just because someone is gay or bi means that they want to hook up with said person. That one really gets me, just because I like girls, does not mean a like ALL girls. Just like a hetero girl does not like ALL guys.

--------------------
"Ne donne un baiser, ma mie, que la bague au doigt" -Méphistophélès from Faust (Don't give a kiss, my sweetheart, until the ring is on your finger)

Posts: 44 | From: Oregon | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Biguy(formerly AmberTS)
Neophyte
Member # 29192

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Biguy(formerly AmberTS)     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by origami_jane:
Sadly, that adoption myth is widely believed. Which is a shame, because I had a friend raised by her biological mother and her mother's partner, and she's straight. My brother also has a friend whom I think is being raised by a lesbian couple (my mom got really uncomfortable when I asked about the girl's family and mumbled something about her "other mom."), and she and her sister are both straight. (Then again, the friend is 12, so it might still be up in the air.)

Similarly, people (like my parents) also believe that homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to teach or lead youth groups (Boy Scouts, etc). I can explain it better by paraphrasing the conversation I had with my mom about it.

Me: (reading article about gay teachers) Do you think gay people should be allowed to be teachers?
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: Well, why not?
Mom: Is Ms. F gay?
Me: No, she's had like four husbands. She's the Liz Taylor of the school.
Mom: Oh. Well, does she talk about her husbands?
Me: Uh... yeah.
Mom: And if she were gay, she'd talk about her....... girlfriend. And if she's in a position of authority over you, and talking about her girlfriend, then that's like telling the whole class that her choice of lifestyle is okay. Which it's not. I don't think that their lifestyle is right and I don't want anyone... especially my children..... to be exposed to that kind of thinking.
Me: (seethes silently) Whatev. (walks away)

In my experience, that's the kind of thinking in my area, and I think it's pretty common across the country (or at least, that's what friends in NC, AR, TX, WV, etc say).

Anyway, I read an article about gay sheep, and they do the same thing--ignore the females. Pandas too, I think. And wasn't there something about a baby penguin raised by two male penguins?

Wow. I wish people we're more open-minded. Honestly, if I was to stay a male and be heterosexual, and I had a family, I wouldn't care one way or the other about my kid's sexuality.

Jimmy: Dad, I think I'm gay...
Me: Great! What do you want for dinner tonight?

I wish it weren't a big deal like it is, and more like the dialogue where it's just another fact, and then you keep going with your conversation.

--------------------
Used to think I was transsexual, after further consideration, a feminine bisexual male =P

Posts: 25 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just because, know that even some very open-minded parents, including queer parents (and closed-minded folks also come queer-flavoured, for the record), aren't easily okay about kids coming out, or having a given orientation. It's not always so simple as being open-minded or not.

For instance, a queer parent, knowing how hard it can be to live in the world as queer, may not be so thrilled because they'd hoped their kids would be spared that. The mother of a daughter may not be so happy her daughter is heterosexual, because there are things she might have to deal with she would not were she lesbian. For MOST parents, of all types, their kids just growing up and reaching the age where they're having or considering any kind of sexual partnership at ALL is a big pill to swallow when they were a baby, from many parent's perspective, so, so shortly ago.

Many parents really are pretty invested in their kids happiness and well-being. So for some, sure, NOT being okay about a kid's given orientation may be about bias or bigotry or closed-mindedness. But it's often more complicated than that, and it's pretty easy to say we'd be lax about something as a parent when we haven't been one yet.

(And I had one parent myself who WAS just that accepting, for the record. Which was great, butcha know, it actually would have even been a little better, when I think about it, if rather than shuttling off to the next topic, he'd have asked me how I was doing with it, how I felt, if there was any help I needed, anything I wanted to talk about, what have you.)

[ 06-04-2006, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Biguy(formerly AmberTS)
Neophyte
Member # 29192

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Biguy(formerly AmberTS)     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I understand. What I meant by that, is that I wish we lived in a world where it didn't really matter. But yes, you raise some good points. It's just that parents have to be able to put their kid's happiness first.
Posts: 25 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't want to derail this particular topic, so if you want to continue this particular discussion, go ahead and make a topic on parents and coming out, or bring this to an existing one, okay?

Butcha know, parents are people, and human. They're not martyrs or saints. And absolutely, a child's happiness and well-being should be paramount for a good parent, but what a CHILD thinks will make them most happy and what a parent thinks might are not always the same. And sometimes, the parent's greater perspective on the world, merely by living in it for longer and more broadly, adds a lot.

It DOES matter in the world we live in. Sexual orientation and identity matter, sex matters, gender and gender indentity (no matter what it is) matter. Quite a lot in many arenas, often more profoundly than most of us can know at young ages.

None of this to to say that the discussion Jane was recounting was like this. Clearly, homophobia and bias are at the wheel of that car. But for some parents, their unhappiness or poor reaction is because they know these things DO matter in the world we live in, and know, suspect, worry or think that certain orientations/identities, or approaches to same may end up NOT resulting in their child's happiness ultimately. In another thread, you advised a user to put her parents on the defensive, for instance (which isn't the best idea, but that's another issue), which is generally something which INCREASES bias, rather than getting someone to examine it/change it over time. To some parents, a child being out in certain situations is something they know might do that, even if to their kid, it seems like it'd net a better result than a different approach.

In a word, parents really are people, and families are communities, where everyone's happiness and well-being is (supposed to be) paramount. It's generally really helpful to leave room for that, for parents and their kids alike.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blarg
Neophyte
Member # 27213

Icon 1 posted      Profile for blarg     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
"... and the "Guys who grew up without a male role-model will become gay"."

This one always cracks me up, because I'm gay and I don't believe I've had any FEMALE role models, other than my mom . . . seriously, all the people I looked up to, other than my mom, were male, and boy did they vary . . . anywhere from Michael Jordan to my absent-minded, pudgy 5th grade english teacher to Freddie Mercury to my dad . . . all over the place.

Posts: 18 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Blarg, you might appreciate a little anecdote my partner passed on to me via a gay comedian the other day, whose parent was clearly operating under similar mythology.

Seeing he loved to play with Barbie dolls, and deciding this was something which might spur her son on to be gay, his mother, instead, got rid of the Barbies and gave him.... He-Man dolls. Rippling, tan muscled macho dolls.

You can imagine why this might not have had the intended effect. [Razz]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shining Sugar
Neophyte
Member # 30244

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Shining Sugar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Nailo:
Another one:

Bisexuality is really just a phase many confused people go through. At some point in their lives, these people always end up choosing one side or another.

My mom told me that same thing when I, "came out."

Me: Hey, Mom, remember how I told you I thought I was a lez? Yeah, well, I still like guys too, so I'm pretty sure I'm bi.
Mom: That's a phase, Meg. There's no suxh thing as bisexual. You'll get over it soon.
Me: *thinking: "ZOMGWTF!! You're trying to dispel proven sexuality like it's the monster under the bed!!!"*

Weird.

--------------------
quote:
And all I really want is some peace, man,
A place to find a common ground,
And all I really want is a wavelength

And all I really want is some comfort,
A way to get my hands untied.
And all I really want is some justice.



Posts: 4 | From: New England | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think sometimes a good response to this is to explain that IF it is a phase, it is a one some people are in for decades; some a whole lifetime.

I tend not to argue against the "phase" business. One parent of mine treated it that way twenty years ago, and here I am, still bisexual. Twenty years ago, I also was working on being a writer, which I still am. Who knows -- maybe another twenty years from now being a writer will have been a "phase," but even if it was, it's taken up a big chunk of my life, so waiting for it to "go away," rather than living my life with that a big part of it would have been pretty darn silly.

Yes: sexuality IS fluid, and yes, sometimes ANY given oriennation IS a phase. People who initially ID as heterosexual sometimes end up IDing as bisexual or homosexual. People who ID as bisexual sometimes end up IDing as homosexual. Sometimes, people are dead-on when they first ID and stay that orientation lifelong.

So I've found it takes a lot of steam out of that argument to just say, calmly, "Okay, so, what if it IS a phase? It's where I'm at right now, just like my interest in zoology (or art or chess club or drama, whatever) might be a phase, but you encourage and support that, so why not this?"

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pockyqueen
Activist
Member # 30161

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pockyqueen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
heheh. my parents have never been particularly supportive of any of my "phases", unless they were based on math, science, or law. It's a wonder that I've had any art or drama classes at all ^^;;

I find it interesting that no one has brought up this myth:

"HOMOSEXUALITY IS A DISEASE. Hanging out with the homos makes YOU a homo."

That's my dad's explanation for my open-mindedness (and whatever sexual persuasion I am at the moment... still not sure about that one). Apparently, having gay friends will make me gay. The funny thing?

I WAS ALREADY GAY/BI/TRISEXUAL WHEN I MADE THOSE FRIENDS.

oh! and back onto the topic of the fuzzy lumpkins cutesy same-sex animal couples, does anyone remember the lesbian swans in Boston? I thought that was so sweet ^^

--------------------
"You almost look like a... a.... not a woman..." -- Oriental Occultist, The Incredibly Cool Club

Posts: 45 | From: a very nice, well-aerated closet | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chocolicious
Neophyte
Member # 38714

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Chocolicious     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, I know! All artistic/creative guys are gay.

Which is funny considering my completely hetero father is a darn spiffy artist.

And any girl who is a nerd also must be both ugly and gay.

On a completely unrelated note: my friend's mom has a roommate who is very butch, but they're not together. Though, everyone who sees them always thinks that, so there's this running joke that James as two moms. Fun times. ^.^

--------------------
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."-- Dr. Seuss

Posts: 9 | From: Las Vegas | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Atonement
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42492

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Atonement     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, I wonder if the reason that bisexuality is considered a "newer" thing is because in even less tolerant times, it was easier for bisexuals to just have opposite sex relationships and pretend to be straight.
Any thoughts?

Posts: 444 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Spelaea
Neophyte
Member # 46489

Icon 8 posted      Profile for Spelaea     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This one was brought up the other day at school.... At a Friends of Dorothy meeting, no less!

"Oh, often people turn lesbian because they were abused by men and so they can't form a stable relationship with one."

When everyone said "Uhh... That's a complete myth," she just said defensively, "Well, it happened with my aunt, okay? She was abused and now she's a lesbian!!!"

Grrrr.... First of all, sorry 'bout your aunt, but correlation does not equal causation.

Does this mean it a guy was abused by another guy, he will 'turn heterosexual' because of it? Of course not, so why the double standard?

Posts: 4 | From: Earth | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   

   Close Topic   Unfeature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3