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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » "Those people"

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Author Topic: "Those people"
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Ever been in a conversation with someone when they start using the term "Those people" and the "They" about a person (or group of people) that is/are G/L/B/T/Q? Sometimes the stereotypes are just so laughably ridiculous...

So here's your chance to share some of those classic ::Headdesk:: moments when someone said something that was just over the top ridiculous where rather than the stereotype hurting it just left you rolling around laughing.

Mine from the other day...
Friend: "So, you're bisexual... right?"
Me: "Yep. Why?"
Friend: "Can I ask you something?"
Me: "Sure. What's up?"
Friend: "Well, does that mean like if you're walking around downtown, everyone you pass turns you on? So you're just like... constantly turned on?"

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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i suppose in a way, i am lucky that has never happened to me. However, i am unlucky in that all the 'stereotype' convos i find myself in are decidedly hurtful and hateful.
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 62155

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My mother is aware that I like women who are under the category as 'masculine' or 'butchy' and because of this I constantly hear her nag about how I *secretly* want men, due to the fact I am sexually and emotionally to women of the masculine type. She says 'If you're into women who look and act like men, why not date a REAL man?' ;/

I love you Steph. <3

Posts: 53 | From: Halifax | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I have two if you would like to hear.

When I came out to my mom, she was constantly looking at me and expecting me to suddenly turn into a girl in a boys body when eventually I had to tell her that I AM A BOY!

Then I have lots of arguments with some religious extremists at my school who tell me I should try accepting God and them telling me that he will take my homosexuality away and give me a happy life, and not a sinful one.

I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31388

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An ex and friend of mine once, when he found out I was poly/partnered with two people...

"So I guess you're still a commitment-phobe"

XD I guess that would explain the 5-year relationship and the housing plans...

We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.

Posts: 90 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My mum, just one of her gems, from I don't remember when: 'You've stopped shaving your armpits?! You'll turn into a lezzo hippy!' Funny thing is that although I wasn't at the time, I have since started identifying as queer. Needless to say, I'm not out to her.


"Oh baby I said,
It's all in our hands,
Got to learn to respect,
What we don't understand,
We are fortunate ones,
Fortunate ones, I swear."

Posts: 61 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My dad, upon seeing a woman on tv mention that she was there with her girlfriend "Well of course she's gay, she dresses like a guy and everything"
My mental response "So, my insane love of dresses and dressing up and girly stuff means that I'm not gay? Cause I'm pretty sure I am. And, my friend with the long hair and makeup and dresses, and our other friend, again very girly and dressy?"
Bah, stereotypes.

Posts: 183 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My mother was little bit more vulgar with her statement at the time. I asked her if she wanted me to be happy and she said:

"Of course I want you happy! Go ahead! Eat pussy-pie! See if I care!"

She also said that she'd never be able to buy me a "real" wedding dress.

Posts: 2 | From: Home from College | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Dad- You can tell he is gay!'
Me- " could tell?" (the kid was very energetic and looked a bit on the feminine side...that was it).
Dad- OF COURSE! But it's okay I have no problem with gay people.
Me- But I'm bi and you said you wouldn't accept that!
Dad- haha of course I'm okay with gays...just not in my own house. I don't want any of that in my house. Your straight or I'm disowning you.
Me- ....

he hugged me after...yes that makes up for the disowning comment. ^^;

Mom- (when talking about me cousin) Oh so he is a fag? I mean I have no problem accepting that wonder he is in a abusive relationship.

me- er what? (Yes, because all gay people have dysfunctional relationships, obviously. Also, all lesbians are demanding bitches. :/ sighs).

Dad- Ya. I mean if it was a lazy woman then I'd accept it but his partners a MAN NOT A WOMAN.

I'm so confused over their responses! We are not huge on religion (though my mom is big on it she doesn't force it on us) and their pretty open to things. They may be very set in their views but they are very nice people yet when it comes to this their just not....what funny is that when I said I was confused they said they'd love me regardless. Once I said 'I'm pretty sure I'm bi' their attitude flipped and was one of 'Well OF COURSE we said we'd accept you were just confused then !"

So, yes quiet a few /facepalm moments.

Posts: 60 | From: Windy LittleTown | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Talking about politics in a social studies class, when the conversation turns to sexuality. We talk about being straight, gay, and lesbian, and generally establish that all of these things are okay.

Person 1: "But I don't understand bi people. Like, either you like boys, or you don't."

Me: "well, I think bi people like boys AND girls. That's why they call it bisexuality. Because a bi person is attracted to BOTH genders."

Person2: "so they're just confused."

Me: "No. You can be attracted to both genders"

Person 1: "So they're always dating a boy and a girl?"

Me: "No, they might date a boy, then date a girl, then date another boy."

Person 1: "But they're still attracted to that other person?"

Me: "No. I'm dating a boy right now, and I'm not interested in anyone else, because I'm dating this boy, but I could later want to date a girl, if we broke up."

Person 2: "You're just confused."

Me: " No, I'm not. I'm pretty definitely able to be interested in both boys and girls."

Person 1: "Have you ever had sex with a girl?"

Me: "" (Why are you asking me this....?)

Person 1: "Then you're not bi, you're just confused."

Me: "Uh. what?"

Person 1: "Well how could you know you were lesbian or bi or whatever if you haven't had sex with a girl?"

Me: I haven't had sex with my boy

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Sorry, accidental post.

-friend either, but I'm still dating him."

Person 1: "That's different"

Me: "How is that different?"

Person 1: "It just is"

Person 2: "Yeah, you're just confused"

My social studies teacher, at his desk in the back: *Facepalm*

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My roommate from this past year, while she was awesome and over all accepting of my questioning my sexuality, sure had some things about these people.

"Is s/he gay, is s/he bi, what's wrong with her/him?!"
"Why can't you be one of those in between people? "(meaning bisexual)

Earlier from a couple of strict Christian friends in high school when asked their attitude towards LGBT:

"Well... God says we're all sinners anyway!"

Oh that's
Thankfully, there is a pretty thick line between homophobic and unknowing, I guess. I feel like listening is a good skill for all.

New to all this

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I'm in a polyamorous relationship with two people, one of whom is a MAAB bigender femme who most people assume to be "a guy," and the other of whom is a lovely femme woman. I am butch and genderqueer, but people who aren't in my queer friend group tend to assume I'm "a girl." I don't hear a lot of comments to my face, but my friends and partners tell me stuff they've heard.

The main comments are usually phrased as concern for me and my female partner, since people seem to assume that the big mean "guy" must have somehow duped us into this arrangement. Um, actually, she doesn't identify as a guy at all, and all of us grew into our polyamorous identities in our own way.

My female partner's mother was the most blunt in this regard - when she found out about us, she told her daughter, "Someone's going to get hurt, and it's not going to be the guy."

For the record, ma'am, I'm the only member of this triad who comes close to identifying as a guy, and you know who actually suggested that we try a three-person relationship? YOUR DAUGHTER. Yes, the tiny, pink-loving, femme girl who you tried to raise as a meek, straight Republican. Sorry none of those plans worked out, it turns out that she is a kinky poly feminist who wants to ditch Texas for the Pacific Northwest and she is very literally "in bed" with the liberals.

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Man: "Why are you on birth control, don't you have a girlfriend?"
Me: "Yes, but pills are for my painful periods and acne medication."
Man: "Aren't you gay?"
Me: "No, I'm bisexual, but I don't--"
Man: "Oh! Oh, well then it makes sense for you to be on birth control!"

yes because my sexual orientation has TONS to do with acne and menstrual cramps, doesn't it?

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Like most of you, I'm used to hearing pretty naive things from some straight cisgender people.

But the most shocking think of all I heard was from a Gay guy:

"It's one thing for girls in relationships to hang out with gay guys, but lesbians are different. I wouldn't have trusted her around my boyfriend"

-regarding to a friend my ex had that was a lesbian

He also said a whole bunch of other things about how "Gay guys and lesbians were so different", and implied that most lesbians were really bisexual, and that they were usually "mean".

How on earth does he expect for LGBT people to advance in recognition and respect if he's so busy bashing lesbians?

Posts: 444 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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