I'm wondering what you all feel about how important it is to share details of your sexual history with your current partner. I'm not talking about the necessity of sharing information about STDs one may have, but rather what do you all feel you would want to know about your partner, and what would best be filed under Too Much Information?

I just started dating a wonderful girl (I'm calling her June for posting purposes) and I'm her first romantic relationship of any kind. I, on the other hand, have had quite the handful of girlfriends, flings, hook-ups, fool-around friends, what have you. I've really had it with tomcatting around and it's looking really good for me having a meaningful relationship with June. Strangely, she hasn't asked me much about my past so I'm not really sure if she wants or needs to know anything. This is unique to me since many of the other girls I've dated wanted to know (a little too much, in some cases) about my sexual history. Many of these girls were curious college chicks who saw me more as a lab experiment than a girlfriend, so I'm not sure where such conversations fit in to a real relationship. Plus, next to June I feel like a complete slut and I'm a little embarrassed about how much experience I have compared to her. Should I wait to see if she asks me about anything or do I offer up the unsolicited Astonishing Tales of Kara? I've never connected emotionally with anyone like this before so I kind of feel like I owe it to June to share everything with her.

So, what do you all think, both generally and specifically?

Once you get past the obligatory stuff about STDs I would talk about boundries. Asking if ther is anything she doesnt want and so on so forth. My close friend started dating somon who's previous partner enjoyed public affection, which she hated. It took them a while to get that straight.

About what sex acts you have done or whatever, that wil come up when it needs to. You dont need to rattle off a laundry list of everything you have done sexually. Those things just come up if they need to. If she wants to know she will ask.

But don't feel like a "slut" because you are experienced. I am sure she isnt bothered by it, and if she is then she isnt worth it ya know?

------------------
Sarah Liz
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)