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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Fear, pregnancy, where it comes from

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Author Topic: Fear, pregnancy, where it comes from
rosemat
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I wanted to post this message to talk about fear of pregnancy.

I am very paranoid about it. I feel that I can't hug my dad, because what if he unknowingly has precum in his jeans (and i have read men can't tell if they have precummed) which seeped through and got on the front of his crotch, and when i hugged him that precum got on my jeans and it passed through. I am not joking how much it bothers me. Hugging a male bothers me so much now!

Another scare was posted by me on the sexpert section, when i shook hands with a man, and touched my pad.

Other strong paranoias are sitting next to a male, and thinking maybe his precum can get into the couch, swim through and come to my pants.

These are very severe worries and paranoias which haven't gone. I see a lot of posts from a lot of girls asking similar questions often concerning fingering, a dry hand rubbing their clitoris but while the girl is wearing her pants.

Why is there so much fear? So much paranoia even with sex education available and the obvious being known. I asked this to myself and found the answer.

I HAD learned that periods means no pregnancy, but I have read that women bleed through many months while pregnant and they don't even know they are pregnant. My bubble broke.

I HAD learned that you can detect pregnancy hormone after 2 weeks of conception. BUT I had read that even a blood test after 2 weeks of conception doesn't have enough of HCG to detect pregnancy. That even blood tests have been wrong. And that a woman could not detect her pregnancy on a hpt for 3 months. My bubble broke.

You see, whatever my brain learned as fact, it was shattered later by more information which did not support what i had learned. And this happened time and time again! It wasn't like they said, this is how it is, but there are chances of this and this. All the new " But" information was learned later on, by reading stuff and online crap. Everything contradicting what was taught to me.

I don't know whether you have gone through yahoo and wiki answers where there are so many questions about how sperm can pass through cloths, you can get pregnant from this and that. And all of them say " YES" ! One horrible aspect of these answers is that the question itself has not be written properly. We don't know what the couple did, where the man enjaculated, nothing. Many answers saying that " many women have gotten pregnant without penetration, with only sperm being ejaculated near the vagina or near the vulva " And apparently this is very very common! or getting pregnant from semen undried on the sheets during sex.

Ofcourse non of them explain themselves probably, and written horribly.

Also new research which i read about AIR DRIED SPERM BEING ABLE TO FERTILIZE EGG ( in IVF only ).

But that did put into my head, is it possible for dry sperm to travel through cloths? In the sense , a man ejaculates in his jeans, it dries for days. A week later if unwashed the dry sperm is still there, and then if I wear it, or even hug a person wearing it, can the dried sperm get attached to my jeans, or my underwear and some how pass through it and enter me? Far fetched and ridiculous?? HUGGING A PERSON WHO HAD DRIED SPERM INSIDE OF HIS JEANS A WEEK AGO! AND WONDERING WHETHER THAT DRIED SPERM LATER PASSED THROUGH HIS JEANS AND ATTACHED ON TO YOUR JEANS! This thought comes from the previous mind break downs which were caused when one learned new stuff contrary to old stuff. If all that was possible, what stops this from being possible? One would think.

When you learn something which is stated as fact, and hear later that it was not accurate, your mind breaks down making you doubt anything you ever hear concerning that topic again. Now you doubt everything!!! PARANOIA STRIKES! The brain no longer believes. Therefore, if a you are wearing pants, and the guys hands are completely dry, and he touches your crotch, there is no fluid no where! it still causes anxiety!!! a little worse, if the girl starts lubricating and she gets wet, it makes the pants wet and the dry hand touches it, can the wetness rehydrate the sperm? THAT'S WHAT THE MIND THINGS! why?

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Yes another thing to this mess is the term " ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! IN MEDICINE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE " How many doctors say this?

Can this happen? Can that happen? what is the possibility of this and that? Doctor or scientist says " Well in all my years of experience in medicine, anything is possible! "

In totality, when your facts are proven wrong time and time again, when websites like wiki answers and yahoo answers have millions of posts which talk about how common some weird accidents are and constantly telling you that all kinds of pregnancy are not only possible but common! and then later doctors saying, anything is possible! And new research being published all the time like the air dried sperm fertilization article...
How does the brain believe anything?

I know a lot of teenagers post the same situations of pregnancy scares here, and believe me I am gonna be one of them! But the reason i think they are constantly scared is the same reason i am! The fact is you hear so much! Everyone gives a different understanding. And that's why one needs constant reassurance.

I personally want to stop my paranoia, I want to stop worrying. I have a lot of questions, and I guess I'll get them answered slowly, but I am still paranoid. My biggest paranoia! Is one thing in particular... Dry sperm. I know I know this has been answered twice! for me. But can't still help worry!

How do you stop this? By educating oneself? Then later some information negates the education. What does one do?

I want to know how to stop websites, people, articles from influencing me like this! I want to stop being paranoid and scared all the time. How may i do this? How may all we teenagers do this?

thank you

Posts: 105 | From: globe | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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There's a lot to adress in this post, and I'm on my way out, but I just wanted to touch on a few points.

I have explained the myth about women who continue to have periods throughout a pregnancy in your other query. So that's really not something you should be terribly concerned about: in all likelyhood, if you were to become pregnant, you would be able to find out in time.

Home pregnancy tests tend to be very accurate (and most of the cases where they're not? it's because they were used wrong) and if they're not enough to put your mind at rest, you can always get a blood test. And blood tests are incredibly accurate. So, again, there is no reason to think you could end up pregnant and not know.

As for your fears in general - it's totally normal to be nervous about the risks of sex, especially when you're just starting out. And in fact, it's healthy to be aware that there are risks, and to make sure you know what to do to protect yourself. But if you find you're worried about situations that contain absolutely NO risks (such as sitting next to a male, hugging a fully clothed male, etc) to the point of avoiding those situations, then you're dealing with way more than just simply being nervous.

Do you experience anxiety like this in other areas of life? Do you maybe have a history of severe anxiety? Have you sought counseling for it? If you haven't, sounds like now is a good time to look into getting some help.

--------------------
Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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rosemat
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dear september, you mentioned whether i feel like this in other aspects of my life. No i don't. I am fine otherwise.

You see I understand what you said about bleeding through pregnancy, pregnancy tests etc all these things. I used them as examples of how I had initially learned a fact about these things and later read contrary to these teachings. So that just made me think, if i was wrong about that! Then i could be wrong about a whole lot of other stuff! And the worry is fueled even more by websites, research/articles, sayings etc.. So the anxiety doubles!!!

Now the stuff i mentioned above is more concrete worries right? But worries like hugging a male (feeling anxiety due to possible touching crotches) would not have been a worry, or an anxiety in general if it hadn't been for the mental break down in information concerning those other topics. I don't know whether I am making sense...How do I put it, it's like:

If A is true, later is proven untrue. Then B must have possibilities of being untrue as well. Especially if A and B are both associated to the sexual body.

It all comes from information, its really not THAT disconnected. Let me see if I can link how my brain thought of all this :

- Precum can have sperm in it.
- Precum like cum can soak through cloths (jeans too).
- A man sometimes doesn't realize he has precum.
(I have read that precum is the equavilent of wetness in women. while one can control ejaculation, precum cannot be controlled. Sometimes out of slight arousal for even being brushed against, precum can come out.)
- Due to the fact a man doesn't know when he precums, and the fact precum can soak through cloths hence the soaked through fluid can touch another jean/pant.
- While hugging in case the person hugs you tightly and its a full body hug then the wet area can touch your jean/pant and attach on to you.
- And then soak through.

I know in reality this is crazy. But that's how my mind put the information together. Does this process make sense? I honestly didn't know before that a man couldn't feel his precum.

I in anycase always like hugging the upper body. I don't like leg to leg contact, full body hugs are a bit irritating for me. And crotches touching each other especially if its a friend or your dad is gross! And we automatically know and keep a bit of distance in that area while giving each other a tight hug from the top.

But anyways, you see part of my brain understands everything which is said, especially scarleteen that way has really helped me. But there is that other side, that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE side which drives a person insane. I feel because of everything i mentioned in my earlier post that maybe that's the reason for over anxious teenagers ?

And honestly every 2 min hearing something new is very unnerving. I have stopped going to wiki answers or yahoo because its all rubbish, questions are not printed properly with full detail as to why the person got pregnant or had a scare. the answers also are half written and are by people who are not sexperts, doctors, gynos, nothing! Just normal people who don't know much anyhow. Infact I read a post from a girl on this very site scarleteen, and read your answer. It made total sense. That very same question was i think printed by this same girl on the yahoo or wiki answers and all the answers were opposite of what you said. Scarleteen said " no pregnancy risk ". those other stupid sites were PREGNANCY RISK POSSIBLE! The anything is possible theory.

So you see. Also every website, article says dry sperm is dead ! Then later I came across an article which i have also posted on the sexpert section which was answered by David which was about AIR dried sperms fertilizing eggs. Now before David answered my question, my mind thought, everyone says dry sperm is dead, but then the new research is saying IT IS NOT! Now imagine what that does to the brain! You read one thing and then something else comes up. And let me also say that these days research papers and scientists are being very careless and irresponsible for printing information without explaining it in a way a layman can understand. They unneccesarily cause fear, scares which are not dealt with properly. But then there is so much research on so many things which are just untrue and badly done.

The reason iam mentioning all this is to show you were the paranoia and fear comes from. And the brain will just wonder into unrealistic possibilities. Now look at how you explained the bleeding through pregnancies bit. i understood that, but there are a lot of women saying stuff like i bleed till my 4th month of pregnancy and didn't know i was pregnant. All that confuses a person very badly.

I don't experience such anxiety in any other part of my life, cause in all other parts of my life what i know is still the same, no articles being printed to say " Hey did you know that it is not true! " I am studying right now literature. Macbeth still dies, Juliet still dies. English is still english, and an A paper still has the same components of good english, well written and fluid structure etc. Drinking water still makes my head aches go away, eating too much cheese still makes me put on weight, and working out still makes me feel more active.

No information being written contrary to those things. Forget pregnancy, even stuff like erectile dysfunction for boys, cramps pains for girls, variation in sperm , periods, etc its all still not precise. Still alot of ideas and theories on all of this. That's why i think it stresses out people more.

Knowing all this, I am trying to get out of the fear. Education is one thing, and scarleteen is helping me there. But keeping general paranoia out by asking you about how other teenagers are, and how they relate to this i guess would help more.

i hope my post on this makes sense. I hope its not confusing. I read in one of the posts what you said to a young girl who was asking about another pregnancy risk. And you said you need to solve the reason for your worry, the paranoia knowingly very well that there is no pregnancy risk. I thought maybe my post on why iam paranoid might bring some insight, as I myself would like to get out of the paranoia.

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rosemat
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sorry for the extremely long posts. I would like to mention though, thankfully to websites like scarleteen, I have to mention that everyone here, all the volunteers, you included september explain things so precisely and so beautifully, so well ! That after that there is no fear, there is no paranoia. I felt very relaxed with the information on periods during pregnancy. I read alot of the answers to posts in this website, and they are very well handled. And I want to say that scarleteen sex information has helped my paranoia quite a bit.

But wanted to use this opportunity to i guess i ask, what one can do about curbing paranoia. I think scarleteen deals alot with it, which is why you have a 3 strike rule on pregnancy scares. I think you guys deal alot with paranoia from teenagers right?

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September
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Alright, back to see if there's any more I can do to help you out. First of all, thanks for the compliments. Glad to hear that Scarleteen is helping you get a handle on your anxiety issues.

The first thing I wanted to point out, from early in your post: It's not actually possible for sperm to soak through clothes. They're not that hardy. If we're talking really skimpy lace panties or something of the like as the only bit of clothing in between - then yeah, it sperm might soak through. But anything other than that? Even one pair of cotton panties? Sperm can't really soak through that. So I promise you, there are no risks from hugging, even if you were to hug someone as they are ejaculating.

I think a big reason for all of the teens we get who post about pregnancy worries is the fact that there is so little sex education out there. So people want to fill that vacuum and it's easy to find all sorts of missinformation on the 'net.

Even though your anxiety seems to be restricted to pregnancy concerns, it might still not be a bad idea to seek some in-person counseling. It sounds like it's really affecting your life, and talking to a counselor about it might give you some more ideas on how to deal with it.

And if you're looking for a place to talk to other teens about pregnancy worries, this is the place:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=9;t=001131

--------------------
Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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rosemat
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I don't know if a counselor would help much. The paranoia honestly does stem from contradictory information. Did you read my second post? I had replied to your earlier post and again like a fool double posted! sorry about that. You had posted in the " stress and menstruation" topic at ask scarleteen and Lilbluemurf scarleteen volunteer also responded to my post there. The post you sent and the post sent by lilbluesmurf are contradictory in information. she mentions a woman who didn't know she was 36 weeks pregnant.

Ofcourse its a recent post (posted just a few min. ago) and still not sure how the woman didn't know for so long, i'll have to wait for lilbluesmurf to reply. But as you can see there can be contradictory answers, and that is worrying. I am kind of anxious now after what i read. Now I am wondering how someone wouldn't know. So the anxiety is coming from that. When you posted i felt settled, I understood your information. Now there is a contradicting information, now I can feel myself tense up.

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September
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Smurf did explain how it could happen that a woman could be 36 weeks pregnant and not know: it is entirely possibly for women to be in denial about pregnancy.

Not all women react to pregnancy the same way. Some gain very little weight, have no mornining sickness, etc. And in those cases, it is very easy to ignore the signs that are there (such as a missing period) and convince yourself that you're not pregnant. Those cases are rare, though.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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rosemat
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oh i see... was she relating that story to denial ? Or continous bleeding? I wasn't sure. Oh well I'll await a reply. Smurf might give more information, as to what her possible symptoms were in order to over ride them and be in denial.

Wow... this is still very very strange, very difficult to understand. I totally get how you said symptoms could be missing and only missing periods. Or it could be no missing periods and all symptoms. Wow, to be in such denial must be really something. My god. Well I guess this also must come from situations like " Non intercourse sex, where maybe it was dry sex, or semen fluid on the vulva area. Any kind of unprotected non intercourse sex. In this case people feel there was no intercourse hence no risk. So one won't believe they are pregnant anyhow. apparently lots of women get pregnant this way and are very shocked.

or if one is using contraceptives and it failed but you don't know it did and you feel safe that everything was fine, and hence denial about pregnancy. These are the only two reasons which come to mind.

But still.. Iam sorry if i sound insanely shocked but I am. 36 weeks and no knowledge... A pregnancy starts showing in the second trimester right? The stomach has to grow in order to accomodate the baby. That should happen atleast by 6th month! Iam sorry I just literally smiled right now, because i still can't believe it. I get not knowing for 3 months. but that long! damn...

Well I guess to summarize and integrate the posts, you are saying that although periods do not exist during pregnancy, there is such a thing is implantation bleeding etc, and pregnancy can be caught well in time. now connecting smurf's posts,

Nevertheless there is a possibility for women not to catch their pregnancies on time due to a)lack of knowledge about periods and implantation bleeding differences, and b)lack of pregnancy symptoms.

All though one or the other will always be present during a pregnancy( that being missing periods, or physical pregnancy symptoms
).due to lack of either one there can arise denial. Denial could be a great factor in not believing a pregnancy. Am i right in my summary?

Is there ever a case where one is bleeding or spotting rather for a couple of months and there is no pregnancy symptom? in that case there will be extreme denial, cause no sign of pregnancy! Unless one can tell the difference between periods and spotting! Hell I say if you are having sex, always be aware!

I apologize if I am posting too much on this, I am still trying to understand it. Its quite baffling to me. I guess being 19 everything is baffling, so forgive me for it. If I may also ask, implantation bleeding is spotting I get that, but the egg only implants once. Why should one bleed for 4-5 months? Egg doesn't take that long to implant... why the continuation?

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LilBlueSmurf
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Just to clarify ... This is EXTREMELY rare. I've been working in OB/Gyne for one year and have seen it once.

Also, this is what the patient and her partner CLAIMED. They may have suspected it very early on and just not tested or seen anyone. Who's to say?

I agree that you should probably give counseling a shot. A counselor can help you process all of this information and help w/ the paranoia.

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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rosemat
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lilbluesmurf, thank you for your post. I really don't see what counselling would do...Like I said my anxiety is from lack of good information. Once that is fixed, it shouldn't be a problem. I don't have this anxiety in anything else.

And over that I don't know any counselors. you need a good one, and that's not easy to find. I think i need a kick as gyno who is as smart as scarleteen. Any chance i'll find someone who matches up! Honestly good information which is stable keeps me quite happy and sensible.

I agree that its possible they knew early on and didn't check.

I read this one post about a woman who had unprotected non intercourse sex with her partner. I think fluids were involved, semen near the vulva etc. She missed her periods the first month. She didn't think much of it, because she believed there was no way in hell she could get pregnant without penetration. She missed her periods till the 3rd month. After that she decided to get a test done. And realized she was pregnant. She just never checked because she felt it was not possible.

She didn't know that sperm is what needs to get into the vagina, not a penis neccessarily. So there you go. She finally checked and realized. I guess those are the type of situations right.

I wish you had more information on this couple, it would be good information to know of. Like the one I mentioned. You know whether she had missed periods, or symptoms of any other kind etc.

Lauren posted a lot of information in another post. That helped a lot. Her post really centered a lot of information. Now that helped me a lot!

Actually when you first posted I felt your information contradicted september's information. Now i realize you were just mentioning other aspects, like denial factor etc. Also i thought you were comparing implantation spotting to light periods, meaning they resemble each other. I think I misunderstood that.

Thank you again.

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Heather
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I feel like it might be a good idea to mention in this thread, for whomever is worrying, that even when there ARE valid reasons to be concerned about pregnancy, and when unplanned pregnancy IS likely, an unplanned pregnancy really, truly is rarely the absolute end of the world.

Unplanned pregnancy is totally manageable, especially for women of an economic class and/or in cultures where they have several accessable, available options for managing an unplanned pregnancy. But no matter what options are available, and which are chosen should a pregnancy happen, it seriously is unlikely to be anything akin to an apocolype: life will go on for the vast, vast majority of women. Really.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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rosemat
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dear heather, its me who posted and was worried. I am not scared of unplanned pregnancy. I know there are options like adoption/abortion etc.

But I don't want to learn wrong information. that is the only reason I am here. To separate myth from fact. I have really not had enough exposure to good sex education. For that I really need support.

If I have sex using contraceptives, and that contraceptive fails and results in pregnancy. Iam not scared of that. Because i know very well that contraceptives do have failure risks.

What I am worried about is false information. I don't like not hugging my dad because of fear some unnoticed precum getting on me. That kind of worrying is very bad and very unhealthy. That worry comes from false information I am trying to clear. I believe once that is done, I won't worry anymore. These worries are not being made up in my head really, they come from false information.

I do believe our bodies are not that mysterious. And that we can learn correctly. I really feel quite unhappy and confused when information keeps changing. Especially for a teenager who is just learning all this.

Lauren posted a really good post on the topic. I still have some questions regarding one or two of her mentions. But that post helped me.

Its honestly not about it being the end of the world. Its truly and honestly about being educated correctly with knowledge of only VALID risks. Not imaginative ones. IF you get a chance to read my post i would really appreciate it.

Its not only about pregnancy, even catching a pregnancy on time, not being shocked later. its just a myriad of different information, one not leading up to another. September, lilbluesmurf and lauren have all posted and given me valid good advice.

I know you believe children who have good sex ed are more confident and less confused when they grow up. Those who don't end up very scared and confused. SEX = pregnancy risk, right? Knowing that is good, but thinking anything other than SEX can also result in pregnancy is not sensible or good for the person.

How do i say this, its not about unplanned pregnancy, rather unplanned pregnancies coming out of imaginative situations which are fueled by bad information.

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ErinK
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Let me be clear then:

1) Hugging, shaking hands with, or having casual clothed contact with men is not going to pose a pregnancy risk. Neither is touching towels, fabric, doorknobs, etc.

2) Pregnancy risks only occur when fresh (not dried; less than 20 minutes old) semen or pre-ejaculate has direct contact with the vaginal area.

So: a situation where semen or pre-ejaculate has come into contact with your vagina DOES pose a pregnancy risk. However, there is NO pregnancy risk from simply going about your life and having casual contact with people. You would notice if someone had fresh semen on their clothing or hands.

That's it. There's really no need for you to go through countless scenarios and try to make them "add up" because they all have the same implications: you can only get pregnant if semen comes into contact with your vaginal area. That's it.

We've all been spending a lot of time helping you with this, and I really don't think that we need to keep reviewing the same facts over and over again. If you want more information to help you feel reassured, we invite you to read the articles at the main site (including the pregnancy risk charts), or we'd be happy to recommend some books and other resources on pregnancy risks.

Also, we've had users in the past with the same irrational levels of concern about pregnancy risk from casual contact, and usually it was because they had an obsessive-compulsive or anxiety disorder. You might want to consider if either of those conditions is fueling your anxiety.

[ 07-03-2007, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: ErinK ]

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rosemat
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dear erinK. thank you for your post. Yes I have had scarleteen explain this to me well. I think everyone has misunderstood my post here. You see I wasn't trying to get the questions clarified in this post. I was more interested in talking about where these anxieties come from. You see I read a post in one of the sections where a volunteer told the person that you should see where the anxiety is coming from. I realized mine was coming from false information. That's all this post was about. I think I made a mistake in posting it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I hope you understand what i was trying to ask. The post was not at all about " answering questions about dry sperms etc ".

I was merely trying to get some feedback from others about why there is anxiety. I was using my worries as examples. For eg. Showing how my mind thought of one thing and then the other, and how it was supported by false information. I guess I was trying to explain where anxiety comes from. Not just from myside but from other teenagers.

Lauren very sweetly answered all my questions. And she explained to me how and why there is so much false information. Her post was simply beautiful.

So please don't misunderstand this post. It wasn't a post about solving those worries which were examples. I guess I was sharing where the ideas and thoughts come from.

Does that make sense? I was just wondering whether others felt the same way. That's all. I wasn't trying to repeat the questions or anything. I have already got my answers on that query. I think its possible the reason for this post has not been coveyed properly by me. I apologize for that.

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rosemat
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I apologize for posting this post. I infact choose the " Support group" to share with others and even scarleteen where I think teenagers anxieties come from. Other than anxiety disorders, the truth also is even with sex education, there is also a lot of false information floating around, and its very difficult sometimes to separate one from the other. I felt this to be true and thought i share my views on it.

If I had questions I would have posted them at the " Ask scarleteen " Section. Which i have. I have a few questions about pregnancy tests etc which were previously answered by Lauren. I have some follow up questions as well. My questions especially regarding dry sperm have been answered very well. And I have cleared that well. I wasn't repeating scenarios or questions. I was just saying how it did affect me BEFORE, using it as an example.

But this post was solely to discuss and share where i believe my anxiety is coming from. That's all. I used my worries as pure examples. I thought the views and ideas might help, but i don't think they have. I am very grateful still to september and lilbluesmurf for their posts and advice.

I think i din't make myself clear in my earliest post. Sorry for that. But strangely lauren some how just went directly to it! To where my head was swinging! She literally explained to me why there is so much false information. I mean her post was mind blowing, it not only cleared up questions which i was intending on being cleared up in my post, but she also explained why their is anxiety, how pregnancy is hyped, how there is a lot of embellishment etc. It was great to get so much insight. That's exactly what I needed. What i needed to understand.

I guess that's all i was looking for from this post. But still i apologize for this post.

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KittenGoddess
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It is important to remember that just as our bodies grow and change, so does our understanding about and knowledge of health information. In other words, health research is ongoing, so there are times when guidelines and info will change because we learn new and exciting things about the way bodies work. Also, everyone's body is different, so on the finer points not all experiences will be exactly the same.

That said, there certainly is some blatantly false information out there! So one of the things that you need to do is carefully evaluate the information that you find or that you hear. I certainly agree with you, all the confusing information does make it difficult for teens and really anyone else to sort through and find the truth of the matter. You'll find that most folks around here at Scarleteen ended up here for much the same reason. We'd heard some odd bit of info and wanted to find someplace with correct information. Rest assured, here at ST we try our best to provide honest, up to date information to the very utmost of our ability. You can also look at other reputable medical sources. If you find inconsistencies with what we are saying in those reputable sources, then it'd be great if you could provide a link for us that shows us the new info that you've found so that we can take a look and compare it with our other sources.

Rest assured though, you're not the only person who is confused and worried because of misinformation. Lots of folks are in the same boat.

--------------------
Sarah Liz

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rosemat
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Dear sarah,

thank you so much. That really helps me. That's exactly what i meant to ask , and meant to say.

Yes I absolutely understand there is always new research. And I do agree all bodies functional differently. Especially on finer points. And I am trying to clear a lot of this up. AND I HAVE ! For eg. I had a question about bleeding through pregnancy. And I had my questions on that cleared well. So there you go. They did mention how some have implantation bleeding, some don't. But that there is no such thing as periods in pregnancy. That's the basic. That's the fact. Now the finer sidelines are spotting and learning how to recognize that. So I am learning that there is fact, fiction and there are slightly different experiences concerning the fact itself.

I am glad you understand where I am coming from. I felt this post was a bit confusing. But yes all I meant to say was that false information it can be very unnerving.

Yes I did find some new information. In fact, I posted it at " sexperts " section and david answered it for me. I have posted the link of it there as well. I wanted to repost it for Lauren, because she replied to my post. Its already been answered, but maybe she would like to take a look at it. If you would like to refer to it, the title is " Air dried sperm fertilizing egg". Its on the first page of sexpert.

But your post was very beautiful and supportive. thank you. I felt maybe there are many teens like me too. Glad to know Iam not alone. And glad to know scarleteen is always there. Thank you sarah.

Actually some of the volunteers did mention the two main reasons for anxiety in teens is :

1. Bad sex ed.
2. Anxiety disorders.

I wanted to add a third!

3. good sex ed, but bad information around! (but in my case bad sex ed, AND bad information!)

As you very well said, " We heard some odd bit of information, and wanted to correct it." that's exactly it.

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rosemat
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I should also add, that many times in the medical profession, doctors i think have to say "Anything is possible" which is what one doctor was mentioning to a friend of mine. About something, i don't remember clearly. I think they say this to protect themselves, so that they don't need to take responsibility. But I do want to say that, by saying that, they discredit basic information, and then its like " so are you saying you are right, or wrong? ". You know in your Pregnancy risk assessment page, after everything you don't say " Yet anything is possible". You stick to your information because its scientific and stable.
Why don't doctors do this too?

Why are they so scared about saying this is fact, this is not? I know every doctor doesn't say this.. but some act very strange. I find this also to be very irritating and very stressing. Do you find this too? because then you don't know what to believe.

If you think about educating young kids from 12 onwards, they will never have a sense of stability in understanding their bodies with that logic. Why do doctors behave like that?

They are doctors, they should be responsible about their information. Yet they seem least concerned. They make you feel like anything is possible out of thin air or out of the sky!

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-Lauren-
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Doctors have to worry about malpractice and legal trouble much more than we do -- we back up what we say not only based on current knowledge pertaining to sexual health and biology, but because we explicitly state in the guidelines that any material found on the site should not substitute for professional medical advice.

A doctor's credibility and livelihood depends on covering all their bases, and as the person ultimately responsible for something as complicated and unpredictable as the health of human beings, they really have to err as much on the side of caution of possible. [Smile]

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rosemat
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I guess I understand them covering themselves for legal aspects and stuff. For eg. In your risk assessment page, that is factual. Even a doctor should match that. Even when you say they need to see all possible aspects etc, they only see VALID aspects. As in they too are covering scientific points. Its never covering an insane idea.

I mean even my earlier questions about dried sperm etc.. a doctor would say the same thing as you did. The doctor over there wouldn't state otherwise.

But for lets say vaginal discharges or something like that, yes i know scarleteen also gives there opinion and says consult a doctor. In that sense of advice ofcourse one should check up. But in other basic sexual health, sexual functioning etc that would be the same.

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rosemat
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i don't think every doctor ofcourse responds like this. There are those who actually have their facts and know what is and what is not. But then i feel there are some doctors who seem to care less about their patients more about the "not getting sued".

But even usually when they talk of covering all bases they are talking about " VALID bases" right? Not imaginative crap like my bases before.

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