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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Too tired to make friends?

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Author Topic: Too tired to make friends?
Sulma
Neophyte
Member # 94272

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All my life I've had difficulty making friends. Recently I did make some connections, but I wound up graduating from college, so I had to leave them behind.

Basically my biggest issue is whenever I want to talk to someone who's an acquaintance, I don't know how to have a conversation with them. I never know what to talk about or how the keep the conversation going. It's something I've struggled with for years. Usually I'm someone who just doesn't want to talk all the time (I'm an introvert), yet it feels like that to make friends, I have to hang out and talk to people all the time. It's tiring and I don't like doing it, yet I want more friends.

What can I do?

Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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Hey, fellow introvert. [Smile]

I hear you on how tiring it can be to form new friendships; I recently moved to a brand new city so I'm sort of in the same boat you are.

I've found that it's definitely a lot easier to keep a conversation going when you've got a few things in common with someone, so these acquaintances you have: how do you know them? Do you work together, are you in some sort of activity (like a sports team) together? Something else you might try is finding a few people who might want to go to a museum or movie or concert or something along those lines together - that way you don't necessarily have to talk the whole time you spend time with them, and it gives you something to talk about as well.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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What I do sometimes when I feel like this is to ask people questions about themselves. Like their hobbies, job/study, family and where they come from. Most people like talking about themselves [Wink] , and it lets them know I'm interested in them while reducing the talking burden on me.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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