posted
Hi, was wondering if anyone here doesn't speak to either of their parents / been kicked out / disowned? Also, has anyone ever had a fight with / been abused by one parent and the other has completely sided with the parent in question?
Has anyone ever felt they were being pushed into a romantic relationship to be taken off their parents' hands?
Have you ever felt that one or both parents expects you to take care of one/both of them (them being able-bodied), without ever recieving anything in return - no affection, housing, money etc, - even though you are under 25?
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Wiesel Posts: 1231 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
I don't know if I count because my situation is extremely strange, but I don't speak to my father because I only lived with him for a year while I was in high school and didn't really have much contact with him other than that. My mom and dad are divorced and I was raised by my grandparents. My dad remarried and doesn't seem to make me a priority in his life. I felt like I was making all of the effort in the relationship and it was not a very good situation for me, so I don't bother anymore.
Posts: 83 | From: Virginia | Registered: Jul 2011
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Sorry I didn't realize you meant both! But I guess, I'm still kind of in that boat because even though I speak to my mother I choose to have limited contact with her because she has bipolar disorder and goes through periods where she refuses to get help and engages in extremely self-destructive behavior.
Posts: 83 | From: Virginia | Registered: Jul 2011
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You totally count! Thank you Shroeder, my mother is a little the same; has anxiety and depression, goes through severe crisises - she once called the police in the middle of the night and told them to arrest her - and I had to go and help. I didn't mind, but now I have nowhere to live and she doesn't want to know.
They are separated, since I was 6 years old, but dad won't take me in either because I don't want to speak to my mum anymore. The situation with your dad is also similar to mine with my mum and to a lesser extent my dad - mum only wants to know me when I can do something for her, so I stopped making an effort. She hates to even listen to me talk, even though she never sees me. Dad only ever says 'how's your mum?' and once shouted at me for not knowing where she was (in the house...).
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Wiesel Posts: 1231 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
Thought I'd chip in. This didn't happen to me, it happened to my mother. Her father died, and she and her mother got along so badly that, aged about nineteen, she was thrown out of the house and forbidden ever to come back, even when her mother wasn't there. She got put on academic probation at university and had to go to night school and live with a family whose children she baby-sat for her keep.
Well, she managed. She is a secondary school English and special needs teacher, a trade union organiser, a good friend and a very devoted and loving parent. She has lots of intellectual interests, is quite widely read, has traveled, has done all sorts of things. So, there's hope for all you guys. Posts: 170 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2011
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I understand how hard it can be to deal with a mother like that, my mother has had a few good moments where she's really stepped up and tried to be supportive and help me with things the way a "normal" mother should but other times I feel like I have to be the parent. She's called me and told me that she was going to kill herself before and obviously that's a very stressful situation to deal with.
I suppose I'm fortunate though in that I have lots of support from other family members/friends who have encouraged me to do what's best for my health/sanity and encouraged me to keep my distance.
So for sure in certain instances you have to do what is best for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks. It must be tough that your dad is refusing to take you in because you won't speak to your mom. I'm sorry you're going through that.
Posts: 83 | From: Virginia | Registered: Jul 2011
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posted
Thank you bump on a log and shroeder for your support with this; you have really, really helped. My dad has never really been there for me or my brother to be honest shroeder, so it's not such a biggie. I'm sorry you've gone through something so similar to me, my mum rings me saying that, so I know how you feel. It's great to hear you have support from others in keeping your distance; good on them!
bump on a log, I'm so happy your mum did so well; what an inspiring woman, really good to here about her. Hopefully I will be like that one day.
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Thank you Shroeder, my mother is a little the same; has anxiety and depression, goes through severe crisises - she once called the police in the middle of the night and told them to arrest her - and I had to go and help. I didn't mind, but now I have nowhere to live and she doesn't want to know. 
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