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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » What Parents Don't Understand

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Author Topic: What Parents Don't Understand
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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It can be very difficult sometimes being younger to reach parents on a level where they see us not as children – but as young adults, ready and able to make decisions. It can be extremely difficult to talk to parents about what we’re seeing and feeling, especially knowing that they’re looking at us as their “baby.”

This can make important discussions just that much harder to initiate. I’m remembering back to a discussion I had with my own mother just recently when she opened my drawer to put pencils away and found a box of condoms. This is nothing new for her – she knows I’ve had sex – and yet she initiated a conversation about how I shouldn’t be thinking about sex, I was too young, and condoms or no I definitely shouldn’t be having sex.

While we may not always be able to get our parents to listen to us – we should have somewhere to speak where others will. So here’s a chance! What would you say to your parents? What do you wish they would listen to? Eapecially - what do you think they really don't understand about you?

1. Mom, I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and my boyfriend and I are careful. We use protection, and have talked about and have a plan in the event of failure.
2. I don't think my parents trust me. I know they want to protect me, but I don't think they get that I need to make decisions on my own - learn from my own mistakes.
3. I get frustrated sometimes when I come home from college to have curfews and someone asking where I'm going. I don't report to anyone when I am at school, but when I come home I feel babied.

[ 02-15-2009, 03:13 AM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 42061

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I am totally going through stepfather had a discussion with me right after my boyfriend left. I don't even tell them what I think, because to an adults eyes, you're the younger one so they're always right. I would really love it if they treated me the age I am, if they just let me be! I've always been a good daughter..if they let me make my decisions, if they stop putting pressure on me..they depress..sometimes they contradict themselves! I believe that going on 18 im old enough to choose what I want to do with my not dumb..I think before I act..I consider myself a little more mature than average girls my age. I think that everyone has the choice to pursue they're own happyness, and when the time comes, ill pour this to my parents.


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Member # 29292

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1. I do get frustrated too sometimes about my mom always asking me where I'm going and at what time I expect to be back home, even though thank god I do not have curfews. I feel like when there is somewhere I am going that I don't want her to know about it, that I have to lie to her and not be honest.

2. I am tired of my mom always reminding me about safety, telling me to be really careful and to not go out alone at night without taking a taxi because it is dangerous. I already know that and the more she'll say it to me, the more I'm going to feel fearful about going out alone at night, which is not a good thing.

[ 02-15-2009, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Member # 43709

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My dad gives me advice about everything. It's usually good advice, too, but I'm so sick of hearing it I just try to ignore him, which I really hate having to do. I mean, everything I do gets a "be sure you do this" or a "one way this works is to do it like this." Things like closing the refrigerator door and blowing my nose, even. I could never talk to him about sex.

My mom's either in denial or just won't ask me straight-out if I've had sex or not. She hints that she wants me to bring it up. She says, "You should get on birth control, so, when you're sexually active, you'll have the prescription."

I think they also don't want to "give me up" to my boyfriend. If I've gone out somewhere with him, they are super reluctant to let me go see him later in the day. They say "You saw him already today" or "... I guess you can go, for a while" and always seem really unhappy that I'm going to see him. I wish they could understand that I need this, a healthy relationship with someone my own age. He's the only person my age who I actually share things with.

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Maritess ^_^
Member # 44593

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1. I'm getting frustrated with my mom about my boyfriend and I. I'm 17 AND old enough to make my decisions without feeling judged, guilty, or worried about anything from her!

2. I'm tired of my mom distrusting me! I don't do anything to have her not trust me. I'm very open with her and tell her everything. I've even come to her openly about me wanting to make my own decision on having sex. Yet she treats me like a child! She tries to prevent me from seeing him sometimes and also tries to scare me into NOT having sex. I am ready to make that decision and shown to her that my boyfriend and I are going to be safe. We have condoms and I'm on birth control. No matter how much I try to show her how mature I am, she's not going to get it!

Life's a gift full of sweets, bitterness, and everything in between, so just accept it! ^_^

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Member # 45877

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1.Why wont you listen to what I'm saying for once! 2.Listen to what Im saying and trying to understand where I am coming from.
3. Nothing.

Posts: 6 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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