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Author Topic: im not sure
tracy6789
Neophyte
Member # 30735

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okay. i'm an extremely screwed up kid and i'm not really sure what to do anymore. i had a lot of family issues growing up, and my family isn't the best. my dad hits me sometimes but not so often i think its putting me in danger. i started uttig about two years ago. as of today it is two months since i last cut. i also was bulimic and anorexic at different points. or i guess you could say i ate very little and when i did eat i felt guilty and threw up. i'm still trying to get myself back to eating properly once more. my best friend isn't quite sure what to do and niether am i. shes the only one ever concerned for me ebcause my parents basically don't care. i've tried therapy but somehow it doesn't seem to work. i'm not sure what to do. i've attempted suicide before only to think it over and realize i don't want to die.
Posts: 12 | From: united states | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hi tracy. I'm very glad that you realized you don't want to die. That's a very important realization and it shows that you can get better and be happier again, it will just take some time and work. I'm also glad to hear that you have such a great friend who is helping you right now. You said you tried therapy before but it didn't work. Why didn't it work? What kind of therapist did you go to? Not all therapists are the same and you may just need to do a little more searching before you find one whose methods you like and whose personality meshes with your own.

Do you have any other family members or adults you can go to for support in dealing with this? Also you said your dad hits you, would you like us to help you with finding some resources in your area? No one should have to live in an abusive environment and you don't have to stay there. Getting out of that environment may also help you to get the help you need so you can feel better.

[ 06-27-2008, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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tracy6789
Neophyte
Member # 30735

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i'm not sure. i've gone to a few different therapists but none seem to work. i find it extremely hard to open up to people and to trust them enough to talk to them. i usually just sit there trying to force words out.

and not really. my grandma died a few years ago and she was really the only one. and i'm not sure....it seemed better until tonight. but now mymoms on the couch crying herself to sleep because of him. i'm just not sure. i stll care about my mom, and i think somewhere deep down she still cares about me. so i can't leave her.....

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cool87
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You know, I also find it hard myself to open up and trust people. It might take a lot of time before I am able to do so with someone but that's totally alright. How you feel is totally understable given what happened to you. A therapist is there to go at your own speed and she knows that trust issues are something a lot of people who have been in a similiar situation as yours have to deal with. If this takes weeks before you are able to open up and trust your therapist or even say something, then so be it, your therapist will just wait for you to get there and if you do not ever get to that point, then that just means that your current therapist might just not be the right one for you.

It sometimes might take more than a few tries before you find the right therapist for you. I know it might sound right now like this simply doesn't work and it might be frustrating for you but it's important not to desperate and keep on the search because there's definatly the right therapist out there for you, you simply haven't found him/her yet.

[ 06-28-2008, 08:10 AM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Do you think it might help to start by talking with someone over the phone or the internet? RAINN has an online hotline and a phone hotline (1-800-656-HOPE). They're completely annonymous, you can stop talking at any time, and they can help you to find local resources as well.

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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tracy6789
Neophyte
Member # 30735

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thaks a lot you guys
one more question though
what exactl do the hotlines do?
i've never really understood them...

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Love-Life
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Well, it is completely confidential, as Orca said. And they will talk to you about what has happened and how you feel. It is very "at your own pace." They won't pressure you to talk about things you don't want to talk about, and they will give you helpful strategies on how to deal with things. They may give you resources, or help you get in touch with an in-person counselor.

They really do the same thing that we do here on Scarleteen, except for it is more personal. It is still anonymous and if you get uncomfortable, you can always hang up.

Good luck, hope this was helpful. [Smile]

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tracy6789
Neophyte
Member # 30735

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thank you guys
i appreciate the help

Posts: 12 | From: united states | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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