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Author Topic: My guy troubles
sher2007
Neophyte
Member # 34025

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I was wondering if someone can help me with this. Off and on, I have felt as if guys only want me for sex and if I do not go along with their demands of having sex with them then they do not want anything to do with me. At the same time if I do, they do not want anything else to do with me afterward. It seems as if I am not good enough for anything else with a guy. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me. Not only that, but even the decent guys over look me for the other girls. I know I am intelligent, attractive, fun to be around, and a decent person. I have been trying to figure this out, and it seems as if no one understands what I am going through. Hopefully, someone help me understand this.
Posts: 6 | From: Kansas City | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
spartania
Neophyte
Member # 34024

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I guess I have a couple of questions for you before I can give you any advice. Are you going for a "type" of guy? If so, maybe you could help me by defining this type for me.
Posts: 2 | From: Twin Cities | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Member # 29292

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Welcome to Scarleteen ! [Smile]

Have you ever thought that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with you, that it was mostly about those guys not having similar interests as you when it comes to relationships ? That it was about you maybe having gone for the ''wrong'' guys if I may say ?

Some people prioritize sex in relationships way more than other things that comes along with it. There are some people who prefer relationships mostly based on sex alone. And it's okay.(But that doesn't mean in any way though that the way those guys acted with you is alright, far from that. Guys shouldn't sorta like blackmail their partner in order to have sex with them. That kind of partners seems to want to pass their own needs ahead of yours and it just isn't an healthy thing to do when it comes to relationships or any other things for that matter. And lying to partners on top of that, just is far less cool and those are all reasons NOT to stay with those kind of partners.)It is okay too if you are not into this kind of things. We can't all share the same interests or like the same things.

If you do not want to have a relationship based mostly on just sex too, then that simply means you two may not be that great of a match afterall. It doesn't mean in any way something is wrong with you but mostly that this kind of relationships might not be the best for you if that is not something you are comfortable with. Anyway, as I said, those guys simply don't seem to be like great partners to be with, period.

(And btw, you should never give in to sex and go along with the demands of your partner of having sex when sex is not something YOU also want to do in the first place. (I don't know if this was your case ?))

So it appears that those guys were simply not a great match for you, nor great partners to be with period, and that you simply haven't found yet the kind of guy you are looking for.

[ 05-25-2007, 02:47 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sher2007
Neophyte
Member # 34025

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To Neophyte:

The type of guy I would be interested in is someone who does not have a hard time showing me respect, someone who is not with me just to get what he can get out of me, someone who wants to have fun without wanting to lay around have sex or make out all the time, and someone who is NOT SELF-CENTERED. For the most part, I want someone who has the same goals as me and who is supportive of my goals as I would be with his.

Posts: 6 | From: Kansas City | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
De-Man
Neophyte
Member # 31736

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Maybe guys don't know you have these kind of intersts. They are guys who can respect that & are attracted to this. I'd love to find (and am looking for) a girl who have these kind of intersts. But Yeah, you must be dating only 1 "type", I think you'll do good if you looked for someone you feel basicly have those same intersts, (every gut won't choose you over someone else) & not going out with anybody who asks unless you feel they're into you, and not just sex. But you is real, there ain't nothing wrong with you at all.
Posts: 18 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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