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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » HELP..i can't stop cutting

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Author Topic: HELP..i can't stop cutting
trixieish
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I'm 15, and since March I've been cutting my arms, and hips. It's gotten worse in the last 2 months, and I can't stop. I' not doing it to get attention or because it's a new "fad." I'm so scared. I was wondering am I the only one whose doing this? and how can I stop? I don't want to talk to a counceler, or my parents, I'd be so ashamed if anyone found out. please help.

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somethings have to be believed to be seen
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Posts: 6 | From: canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Allysa
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Hun, I know first hand the effects of cutting as I do it myself when things are bad, is there any reason why it has gotten bad? I have never told my mum about my cutting but she has seen it and has figured out that's what it was, hun cutting doesn't solve whatever you're going through trust me, I know it seems like it helps but it is a short term solution to a long term problem.

You may not want to talk to anyone about it but it is for the best, they can help you through the bad times and help you to realise that cutting isn't a good option for what you're going through.

Hun I know you're scared and you are not the only one who does it, I have many scars on my arms from doing it, there is nothing to be ashamed about either, ppl may not understand why you do it, but that's why you need to talk with someone so you can tell them what is going on.

Don't let this get out of control hun, you are worth so much more than this, and whether you want to or not, I would highly reccommend that you do speak to someone about it, trust me it will help.

Stay safe sweet

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Ally

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Chandie Lee
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Hey Freyish. Cutting is a very difficult thing to deal with, I know. I want you to know that you are not alone with that. Alot of people do cut for alot of different reasons. I was a cutter at your age as well. Although you don't want to tell your parents, it would help you. You don't want to go through this alone. And Allysa is right- you don't want to let this get out of control. She's also right in saying that it's nothing to be ashamed of. In this day and age, things are very stressful, and that's why you should tell your parents and maybe they can help you to find out why you;re cutting.
I hope you can get things figured out and feel better

Chandie

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*Make me high on lullabiez <33*

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wobblyheadedjane
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freyish, you might get some more replies on this topic in the Support Groups forum, so I'm going to move this topic there, okay? There's also a few different posts on cutting and how to stop cutting that might help you that'll I'll link you.

See you in Support Groups!

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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wobblyheadedjane
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Here's our main thread on Cutting/Self-Injury: Cutting Support - it might be a bit of a trigger but there's also lots of ideas in there of things to do instead of cutting that could help you.

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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trixieish
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thank you, everyone. I was reading some of the other threads that delt with cutting, and it helped me understand that I'm not the only one who is doing this. To respond to Ally's question about why it's gotten so bad: I've moved around a lot, I lived in Minnesota for most of my life, until I was 12, then I moved to New Hampshire and lived there until this past year. And I really hated it in NH, but when I uproot and move, I feel like a part of me is ripped away from me, and even though I disliked NH,the move hurt me more then I would ever addmit, and in the last 2 months I think I've missed my friends there more then ever...I know it must sound stupid to cut because I miss people...but that what I think is happening

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somethings have to be believed to be seen
-unknown

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LabelHater
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hey. i've been going through the same thing, cutting, I mean. On and off. I live with my grandparents, my dad's in jail, and I don't have a mom.All of this just happened recently. I don't know what to do either and the cuts are getting deeper.......
Posts: 2 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
one sad little kitten
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hey, umm I feel kind of weird telling this to people but I'm 15 I've been cutting my self for almost two years no. I started when my grandmother went into the hospital. I've lived with my grandparents since I was two because my parents didn't want to take care of me and my grandmother means everything to me. I don't have a good relationship with my Mom, both my parents do drugs but my Mom took me to buy drugs with her so I choose not to visit her anymore. My Dad has bipolar, and both my parents,but mostly my Dad, have tried to commit suicide several times. I walked in on my Dad trying to kill his self by slitting his wrists when I was two, which is another reason I live with my grandparents. The first time I cut myself was when my grandmother was is the hospital and my Dad had to come over and watch my brothers and I. My grandmother was in the hospital for a few months because her whole leg was infected. I was really worried about her, then my grades started to drop, and I was having problems with my boyfriend, and I ended up cutting my self with a pair of scissors. She has a heart sever heart condition as well so since then every time she got really sick or I had problems with my family I cut myself. My friend who has been like a mother to me has just joined the army and I ended up cutting myself again. Sometimes I cut myself everyday and other times I can go a few weeks without cutting. This last time I cut myself I cut pretty bad, I have 34 cuts on my arm. It seems like every time I have to cut more and more to get the same relief. I'm not ready to tell anyone yet but I don't know what else to do. Do you have any advice?

[ 10-18-2008, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: one sad little kitten ]

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

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Alice
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hey there kitten

(first off, next time please feel free to start your own topic, that makes it easier & more organized for us to address your problem)

I am glad that you came here and that you admitted your problem & let it off your chest. That is a big first step, congratulations. But here's the thing - you can't fix this alone. Just from what you've written here I can see that you've already had some serious challenges to overcome in your life. Internalizing it can feel like the right thing to do in the moment, I understand that. But to really beat this you need to take it beyond just yourself.

So that said, is there anyone available you can think about trusting in real life? Are you in school? School guidance counselors (and some teachers, too) can be a hugely wonderful resource. If they are not able to help you right now they can tell you where you can go. This would be a good place to start.

Other support people to reach out to could be friend's parents, other family members, a doctor, etc.

Something else to consider. When you talk to your school counselor for the first time you don't have to lay it all out there right away. You can start with here are some things going on in my life, I don't know how to deal with them, I'm really overwhelmed and scared and I need some support or something like that. You can build up the trust before you tell them about the cutting.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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one sad little kitten
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I've thought about telling one of my teachers or my guidance counselor but I'm afraid that they would tell my grandparents. Plus my guidance counselor never really gives me a chance to say anything, he's always too worried about getting to the next students and when I do get a chance to say something he changes the topic. Also the teacher I was thinking of talking to has been to busy with the play that every time I try to talk to him he just asks me how I'm doing with my lines. The scene I'm in is about a girl who was addicted to drugs and I told the girl who wrote it that I use to cut myself last year but I haven't told her that I still do. She talked to me about using that emotion for my scene and about how I would feel if my grandmother wasn't doing well and I wanted to cut again, but that's the problem, my grandmother isn't doing well, again, and I do want to cut again and every time I talk to her she makes me want to cut even more. I just don't know what to do.

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

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Alice
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Ok, here's what I got: Go to the counselor's office (or teacher, or whoever) just for info. Like, first off: I'm having a problem dealing w/stuff and I really need someone to talk it over with. Is there a time where I can talk to you for maybe 30-60 minutes, (or if not) can you direct me to some resources that could help me out? And then ask, firstly, about their required reporting. This probably varies from state to state but I know in most places they are required to report abuse & minors who are in immediate danger (suicide, etc). I'm not sure if cutting falls under that catagory, I think it's kind of at their discretion. Like, when I was in middle school I talked to a counselor about it and she said she had to report it. But then in high school I talked to a teacher about it who said she had to report it to the counselor but that she would access the severity of the situation before calling parents.

So try that.

And really.. what are you afraid of as per them telling your grandparents? How do you think they'd react?

For the play thing, it's not surprising that acting out this emotional role would be triggering for you. Is it just the talking to the writer or is it the whole role. Do you have an understudy? If you feel like this is putting you through serious turmoil that will be dangerous to you then I'd recommend you step down. However, on the flip side: it can be helpful in sorting out your feelings on these things.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

Posts: 1180 | From: WA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
one sad little kitten
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I'm still kind of afraid to tell my guidance councilor or my teacher because I know that my teacher would send me to the guidance councilor. Every time I use to tell him something that was bothering me he would just look at me like I was insane, so I just stopped talking to him all together (a few years ago). And if I ask about their required reporting they'll know somethings up and he'll probably contact my grandmother and tell he's worried.

I know my grandmother would be really upset if she found out I cut myself. She would end up blaming herself for not noticing that I was upset. Also she'd feel like she let me down just like she feels she let my Mom down. Plus she's told me and my brothers before that it would absolutely kill her if she ever found out we did something to harm ourselves, chemical or physical.

She has enough to worry about anyway, she thinks she might have cancer. She has to have a ton of tests done. She doesn't need anymore to worry about, I don't want her to have to worry about me on top of everything else...

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

Posts: 6 | From: York, Pa | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alice
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I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this, and I understand not feeling like you can trust people, especially if you've felt like you were brushed off before.

Here's the deal: You need support. This just isn't going to go away on it's own, chances are it'll just get worse and become a deeper problem.

I have a homework assignment for you. Get in touch with these people:

http://www.ywcaofyork.org/index.html

320 E Market St
York, PA 17403
(717) 845-2631

They should be able to help you, or at the very least point you in the direction of support and resources.

I know it's hard to make that step out of your comfort zone, but believe me, you will feel so good that you did.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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one sad little kitten
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I know about the YWCA I use to swim there for the Blue Dolphins I didn't join this year because I decided to be in the play.

I don't know how I would get in touch with them or what I would say.

It was really hard just to find something like this and tell someone about it. I don't know if I could make my self tell anyone else...

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

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Alice
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They should have counselors there. Just call or go in and ask if there's a counselor or social worker you can talk to. And like I suggested w/talking to your guidance counselor, you don't have to come right out with it. You can just talk about coping strategies for stress and stuff like that. The key is building of trust w/somebody so that you can get to the point where you feel confidant enough to ask for help with the cutting.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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one sad little kitten
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I'm still really afraid even to just tell them my problems. I have been so use to keeping and dealing with things by myself that telling someone about things is really hard for me. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to talk to someone...

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

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DogLover
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hello, im a self harmer and have been for over a year. its hard but it helps me cope, i know i should stop but its not that easy. but i found that writing things down helped me a lot, so whenever i got angry or worried, i would write all my feelings down on paper, then by time i had done that the urge to cut had gone, and i was proud i hadnt cut. it helps. or if you are not ready to talk to a counsellor, maybe ask if you can write things down to them, and then when you have trust in them you will be able to speak to them. worth a try. if you want to.

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x Just me x

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one sad little kitten
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That is a good suggestion and I've tried it before and it helps me to think before I cut and some times I didn't afterwards but other times it only made me cut less. And Thank you for the advise [Smile]

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Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this :(

Posts: 6 | From: York, Pa | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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