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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » depression?

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Author Topic: depression?
sl0w_dance06
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Member # 27694

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i'm having a really hard time lately. for the past few months, i've been telling myself it's just my pms that's been making me feel this way. but now it's not just a certain time of the month anymore that i feel like this. it's almost all the time.

i can't take it anymore. i feel so emotionally exhausted with myself i can't even stand it. i'm not my happy self anymore, and i just want to be how i used to be.

there's so much negativity coming from my parents all the time about money, jobs, and paying for college in the fall. i can't handle it. i'm doing the best i can to save money, i have a babysitting job five days a week. but it's just not good enough. i feel like nothing i ever do is good enough.

i feel like a waste of life. i'm 18 years old and i feel like i'm not going to end up to be anything. i'm overwhelmed all of a sudden with growing up. my parents insist on me trying to find a full-time job that has benefits to pay for insurance, since their insurance will probably no longer cover me since i'm 18. i've tried to find a job but i haven't been offered anything except babysitting. i just can't seem to make them happy, even with that. i know it's not good enough, but i'm trying to do the best i can.

i'm not "moping" around as my friends say i am. i'm not doing it on purpose or for attention. i'm just extremely sad all the time. it doesn't take much for me to just burst into tears.

my boyfriend doesn't think i'm happy with him anymore because of this, but he doesn't understand that i really am happy with him. i just don't know how to show it.

when i'm alone, i cry. i'm just so sad. i want to just be pulled out of this hole i've somehow got myself in. i never used to be like this, i want to be my happy self again. i can't bring myself to go out and have fun anymore. i don't know how things got this bad.

i don't want to talk to my parents about this. i just don't think they'd understand. i don't know what's wrong with me. i feel like i just need help.

Posts: 20 | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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sl0w_dance06, you do sound depressed to me; there's nothing wrong with you, it's just that you have to deal with the depression. But it's good that you want to work on it; as hard as things are right now (I've been where you've been), they will get better, even if it takes awhile to work things out.

That is not very kind of your friends to call your behavior "moping around." While it may not be easy for them to deal with your sadness, not taking it seriously isn't very kind. I see how it's hard for your boyfriend right now, too, but I think the best you can tell him right now is that you realize you're depressed and trying to work on it.

Why don't you think your parents would understand? "Mom and Dad, I feel really depressed right now" may not go over with dense parents, but "Mom and Dad, I have been feeling increasingly depressed lately and want to go to a therapist to work on it."

You're going through a lot of changes right now: it's certainly not easy, and it's not surprising you feel overwhelmed. It is a big step, especially if you are feeling unprepared.

Empowerment starts with little steps. Such as by calling your parents' insurance company to find out if you are still covered and the conditions. Often full-time college students are still covered, so definitely find out for sure.

It is really good that you are working (babysitting is a good job; jobs with health insurance coverage arae not easy to come by) and looking for other options.

Will you be attending a local college and living at home? Will you be funding college entirely by yourself with financial aid and work-study or getting help from your parents, etc.? Where do you live? Once you describe your situation more, we can talk about different options.

Your parents probably don't mean to be so negative but rather are introducing you to reality in a harsh way. But it gets manageable, and the independence will eventually feel good. Do you have your own bank account? Car? Etc.?

You have a lot of wonderful opportunities waiting for you out there, it's just getting through a tought time. What are things you think you do well? I mean anything: having an eye for room arrangement, reading quickly, doing a cartwheel, putting things in alphabetical order? Starting with the little things can be good when everything else seems difficult.

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sexualghost
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I agree whole heartedly with everything EcoFem has said. As someones who has been through a severe depression, has had suicide attempts in the past and lives with anxiety everyday of his life, i know it's not easy for you.

First off there's nothing wrong with you, and no matter how hard it is to see it your parents do love you and only want the best for you.

Your Friends aren't treating you very fairly at all, although it may be hard for them to comprehend they should understand where you're comming from and what you're going through. Depression is a very serious thing.

Like Ecofem said your job is a good one, and one that carries benefits like health insurance are hard to come by. Your parents of all people should understand that.

If you're ever feeling down or depressed, something that cheers me up is doing something I love, like Reading, Writing, talking to friends, or even watching a movie on my own. Sometimes some personal time heals us. And if we're around people to often, we often forget what it's like to be alone, therefore we become dependant and think we always need to be with people in order to be happy which is not the case. What you should do is think of something you love doing, could be by yourself or with others and just go out and do it. Have fun and enjoy life, because lifes to short to miss out on all the little things.

Hope i helped a bit to put things into perspective...Hope you're feeling better:)

Ciao!

Posts: 42 | From: Drifter | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kristin@ MHS_@2009
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Member # 29979

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quote:
Originally posted by sl0w_dance06:
i'm having a really hard time lately. for the past few months, i've been telling myself it's just my pms that's been making me feel this way. but now it's not just a certain time of the month anymore that i feel like this. it's almost all the time.

i can't take it anymore. i feel so emotionally exhausted with myself i can't even stand it. i'm not my happy self anymore, and i just want to be how i used to be.

there's so much negativity coming from my parents all the time about money, jobs, and paying for college in the fall. i can't handle it. i'm doing the best i can to save money, i have a babysitting job five days a week. but it's just not good enough. i feel like nothing i ever do is good enough.

i feel like a waste of life. i'm 18 years old and i feel like i'm not going to end up to be anything. i'm overwhelmed all of a sudden with growing up. my parents insist on me trying to find a full-time job that has benefits to pay for insurance, since their insurance will probably no longer cover me since i'm 18. i've tried to find a job but i haven't been offered anything except babysitting. i just can't seem to make them happy, even with that. i know it's not good enough, but i'm trying to do the best i can.

i'm not "moping" around as my friends say i am. i'm not doing it on purpose or for attention. i'm just extremely sad all the time. it doesn't take much for me to just burst into tears.

my boyfriend doesn't think i'm happy with him anymore because of this, but he doesn't understand that i really am happy with him. i just don't know how to show it.

when i'm alone, i cry. i'm just so sad. i want to just be pulled out of this hole i've somehow got myself in. i never used to be like this, i want to be my happy self again. i can't bring myself to go out and have fun anymore. i don't know how things got this bad.

i don't want to talk to my parents about this. i just don't think they'd understand. i don't know what's wrong with me. i feel like i just need help.

Hey sl0w_dance06. I read your post and had instant flash backs to my depression. Every thing you have discribed reminds me of myself. I have tryed to end my life on 4 differant occasions b/f i got help!!!

what alot of people don't get is that depression also hurts phisycally as well as emotinally. You just want to feel right! right?

Let me give you some advice that my counselor gave to me when i felt overwhelmed w/ starting highschool. $being the best is a matter of opinian. there is a big differance b/t being the best and being your best. And your best is all anyone could ask for. If you are doing your best then you are the best. And if anyone doesn't like that well then thats just too bad&

as for your friends, if you cant turn to your parents, they are you biggest support system. Tell them how you feel. If their really your friends theyll want to help you. TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND HOW YOU FEEL. if you don't, you risk the chance of loosing him. I lost my last boyfriend b/c i wouldn't let him in.

Here are a few things you can try when you feel sad or upset a/d something. Start a journal. write down your words and them burn them if you want to but get it out of your system. Meditate. Find a dark quiet place to just sit and think. Find the good stuff a/b you and what you did today, Even if it is as small as smileing at a person and having them smile back or as big as saveing someones life, and save it for a bad day. Throw the rest away. Do this every day and it will help. Try exerciseing. it releases pent up energy and gives you a boost of power. try reading Chicken Soup For the Teenage Soul on Toughf Stuff. It actually stopped me from trying to kill myself. But most importantly, get medical help!!!!!!!! That's what the it's there for.

If you ever need any one to talk to i want you to know that you can turn to me.

A few parting words for you. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. AND YOU ARE LOVED.

--------------------
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.

Posts: 4 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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