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Author Topic: ...clinically depressed?
twentysix
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so i've been pretty down since my 2 year relationship ended. my exboyfriend told me that "you need to control your feelings and emotions.. it's really not that difficult."

and yeah, i realize that what he said was insensitive and jerky, but the more that i think about it, the more that i'm convinced that i'm crazy. the only thing i'm emotional about anymore is this broken relationship and the fact that i haven't successfully moved on yet. i would call him all the time, crying, making myself look extremely pathetic and dependent.

not talking to him helped IMMENSELY but those horrible thoughts kept creeping back. i had terrible nightmares about him. i stopped talking about this with my friends, figuring that i've bored them all with the details. not talking about it seemed to help... temporarily.

i hate that i made myself look so weak to him. it's so easy for him to move on, knowing that i'm still crying over this crap. my self esteem has dropped, and it's all my fault, because i just keep repeating the same bad habits and behavoirs. i want to ask my mom to schedule me an appointment with her therapist, but i'm a little scared. what exactly goes on during therapy sessions? is talking about this whole situation making it worse? how do i stop thinking about all of this?

i keep myself busy with hobbies and friends but in the back of my mind, i'm always thinking about him. it's sick >.<

Posts: 86 | From: california | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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A common quip among therapists and those in the psychiatric know is that the people who think they're crazy usually aren't the ones who are. [Smile]

I think talking to a therapist might be helpful for you. What goes on during sessions? Depends on the therapist and their own approach, but in general, you do a lot of talking, they ask a lot of questions to elicit that discussion and to help you be able to look at things in a new and different and/or deeper way than you might all by yourself. Therapists also usually will work to help you find ways to cope, heal and deal.

2 years is a long relationship, especially when you're young. This final breakup is still really fresh for you, twentysix, so I'd really encourage you to cut yourself some slack. And from what I can gather based on your post history about this relationship, a lot of the time you spent in it, it wasn't an especially healthy one, either, and that usually takes extra long to bounce back from.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 67219 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
twentysix
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Thank you Miz Scarlet [Smile]

I've had quite a few ups and downs since the whole ordeal, and this morning I feel pretty good now that I know what I'm going to do.

I'm just a bit nervous about opening up to someone that I don't know quite well. (Well, it's easy to do that on the internet, but this is an entirely different situation.) I am very shy!

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Heather
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That's okay. That's something you can tell a therapist: that this is your first time with any sort of therapy, that you're nervous, that you're shy.

It's their job -- one of them, anyway -- to do everything they can to elicit open, safe communication, so a good therapist is absolutely going to take those things into account.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67219 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
br0ken
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I feel the exact same way. I talk to her all the time (broke up 3 weeks ago, my first one, and was 6 months long) and I feel so weak and pathetic. I don't blame her though because I feel like I caused a lot of it...I'm really sensitive and overly emotional sometimes...i think it's bipolarity...

Do you have any tips as to what you could do like...therapist-less? I mean...people that know me know that I'm suffering from my thoughts everyday, but I don't want my parents involved, especially since I'm about to go off to college..

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twentysix
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Hey br0ken, if talking to your ex is causing you grief, perhaps you should hold off from that.

I've found that keeping myself distracted with making plans with friends and watching movies has eased the pain tremendously. If you feel like you're "suffering from your thoughts everyday", try keeping yourself busy with other things so you don't have to be confronted with those thoughts in the first place.

Beating yourself up about the break up won't do you any good. You have your whole life ahead of you to make new connections / relationships.

Posts: 86 | From: california | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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