It really sounds like you're going through some serious stress with the fire and other experiences you've had with fire probably are resurfacing to add to the stress you are facing.

The right therapist may also be able to help you with cognative exercises that help you work through more stressful periods, overcome fears you have, etc.

My advice on finding a therapist is this:

Do not stay with anyone who automatically wants to write off your problem as a certain condition; find one who will listen to you and work with you to decide what it is exactly that is going on. This should not happen in a first or second session, it should take more time to work with. Find someone who you are comfortable sitting with and talking to- some people tell me this is silly when I explain it to them but to me, at least, it treally made a difference. I had a counselor once who wore the ugliest clothes and clashing colors I had ever seen and it made me uncomfortable; yes, horribly shallow of me probably, but it made a difference in how I was responding with the therapy.

Take your time, don't feel forced to explain all your fears and stresses all at once. Sometimes establishing a more familiar background is important before diving straight into the issue. It depends on what you're comfortable with, but it's usually how I prefer to work when I've talked to someone.

Aside from therapy, which as much as you may be resistant, may be the best way, you may also look into taking meditation or yoga classes. The meditation may help you relax your mind and body and help you overcome some of what you're dealing with.

I hope you'll find something that will work for you. I do to an extent understand the sort of traumatic effects something like a fire can have, and especially since your situationalso involved escaping an unsafe situation it seems completely understandable to me that you'd be having these difficulties afterward.

In addition, a big part of the after effects of traumatic events (such as a fire) is the lack of control one feels.

Do you have smoke detectors? Do you have one in/near your bedroom? Do you check the batteries regularly? Are you cautious about not leaving lit candles unattended, stoves on, etc?

If yes, you're really doing all that you can. You're prepared. You're as in control as you're going to get.

Also, don't judge your healing by someone elses. Everyone's different. Just b/c he's over it, doesn't mean you have to be too. Sounds like you weren't fully over your last traumatic event, and now you're dealing w/ the effects twofold. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You'll heal in time.

*hugs*