Good sources for that would be a school counselor or trusted teacher, an extended family member, or, as programs like this are common, by asking your local authorities or hospital for a list of local support groups for those who have recently lost family members.

Which ever feels most comfortable for you, reach out that way. With so many things you're dealing with right now, some of which are incredibly hard, and how helpless you're feeling, you truly need to take the steps to create a support network for yourself.

As some users and volunteers here know, I'm not going to give giant lip service to suicide here. I very fully understand what it is like to feel suicidal, but I have also now had three different suicides in my life, one of which was beyond tragic and heartbreaking for me, so you won't ever find me convinced that suicide like this is EVER excusable or ever " a way out." We have no way of knowing is someone who suicided ever found any peace at all, and we ceratinly do know it causes a gargantuan world of pain for those who have loved ones who suicide, sometimes far more that what you're feeling now, if that puts things in any perspective for you.

You just need to talk to a counsellor or someone to get all of your feelings out. I've been to one and it really helped me alot.

You know how much it hurts when someone close to you dies, so I don't think you would want to have someone else feel that much more pain if you were to commit suicide, would you?

I think you really just need some help and support, and coming here was a good first step. Try talking to someone you trust like a close friend or family member and talk to them. There's never a reason why you should kill yourself, so think about it.

Alot of people have it just as bad as you, and even worse but they do make it. You're still young and have alot more left to live for, so try to think about the positive things instead of all the negative.

The toll free hotline number is
1-800-784-2433 They answer 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Here is the web site for the national hotline info: http://suicidehotlines.com/