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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Healthy Relationships

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Author Topic: Healthy Relationships
Member # 18135

Icon 1 posted      Profile for rhiannonwitch     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi, my name is Rhia and I'm rather new to the boards, but I really like/appreciate the site. I am a virgin in all ways but "fingering", so my sex life isn't much of an issue, other than this one thing. I have had alot of issues with depression and Self-injuring. My current boyfriend(a year tomorrow), was a great friend to me before we started dating, and helped me through some depressed episodes. During this time(before we were dating), I felt as though I was getting to close to him, and in an effort to push him away, I told him there was a slight glitch to my romantic relationships that he might not be cool with. That I had to be hurt, physically for the most part, because it didn't make sense to me that I could be loved. Well, he kinda backed off as a romantic interest, but we continued to be close friends while he dated another girl. Once they broke up, we got together, and I brought the subject up again. Mind you, until him, I had never had a committed, long term relationship and I had never actually tried the physical pain thing from another person. He was still uncomfortable, but once we talked it out, he said he'd be willing to try. So recently, we got into the dirty sex talk, hair pulling, and bondage, which would be classified as BDSM, except I know that my allure of this comes from cutting myself as an emotional release. I don't like pain, I simply like the way it makes me feel-out of control, and yet in it. My main question is, is this a good idea since I am a self injurer, and will it be a detriment to our relationship? We both like it, but I just wondered what other thoughts on the issue were as it relates to me. Feel free to move this to a more appropriate forum...just give me a heads up please! Sorry it's so long, but any replies are welcome!
Posts: 5 | From: Wilmington, NC, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17691

Icon 1 posted      Profile for maroonmoon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wow this one's a toughie. I suppose it's okay for you to engage in this kinky play as long as you're not using it solely to hurt yourself. Do you still hurt/cut yourself? Maybe you should get help for that before taking on the responsibilities that come with a sexual relationship. It might be too stressful.
Posts: 15 | From: Mass USA | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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