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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Rape & Abuse -- Here's My Story

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Author Topic: Rape & Abuse -- Here's My Story
Member # 3542

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*takes a deep breath* I am really not sure how to even start this.. but here goes nothing.
Um.. It all started November 1st of 2001. I had this friend that I began falling in love with. He was my bestfriend and I couldn't ever believe that we ended up being together. For about the first 6 months he was perfect. Mr. Charming, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Everything. He would have brought down the stars for me if I asked him to. I was truely on top of the world being with him. After those 6 months, something went wrong. He started to get angry, unsatisfied. He was getting more and more edgy the more I seen him. I was blaming myself saying: "Maybe it's something I did.." "If I didn't piss him off then he wouldn't be so angry.." "If I wasn't so stupid.." I continued to blame myself and things continued to get worse. He began putting me down saying that I wasn't good enough, that I ruined our relationship, that our relationship was MY responsiblity, He called me a F*** Up. *sigh* About a year into our relationship he forced me to have sex with him. I screamed and whined and pushed him away but he told me to shut the F*** Up and that it would eventually happen sometime anyway. I cried and he didn't appologise, he just held me and appologised. I hate the line "It'll never happen again, I promise." About a year and 4 months into the relationship, one day he got angry with me and hit me in the leg so hard that he left a bruise. He was upset whenever I wanted to go with my girlfriends and have a good time. He began telling me what to wear and what to do with my time. I quit after school activities to make him happy, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I felt trapped. Like I couldn't get out. I stayed to try and work things out. I gave him a 2nd chance, which was the wrong thing to do. The longer I stayed, the worse things got. He began hitting me more, yelling at me louder and more frequent. He was judging me and didn't care about how my day was or who I had been with. I couldn't hug another guy without him on my case or thinking I was cheating or anything to that extent. A year and a half into the relationship, he came over to my house and we were watching a movie and he dragged me into my room, laid me on the bed, put a song on that I can't listen to anymore and started to undress. I told him I didn't want to and he grabbed me hard and slapped me. He started kissing me rough and putting his hands all over me, I screamed and pushed him away with my hands and feet kicking him to get away. He started taking my clothes off, then picked me up and put me on top of him hard. Then he laid me back on the bed and I kept yelling at him and begging him to stop. He bit my breasts so hard that I had bruises and bit marks for a couple weeks. He forced himself so hard on me that I bled unlike the times before. He abused me, got his way and left. I cried on the bathroom floor, thank god mom and dad weren't home, but in ways I wish they would have been. I gave up fighting against him because I didn't have the strength to fight anymore. I kept my distance from everyone.. I couldn't tell a soul. After that I began to plot for a way out. I had been online searching for information and sometimes it only left me at dead ends. Finally, I got the courage to speak up to my friends and my mom only knows barely half of it. I am proud to say that speaking up has led me out of that dangerous life I was leading. He harmed me and I was scared half to death of him every time he was around. My dad couldn't figure out why I flinched and ran out of the room whenever he slightly raised his voice. He'll never know. Getting out wasn't easy. Saying no doesn't work and promises aren't kept. I told him it was over, returned his stuff, I cried. He is still harassing me after being over for about 8 months now, but somehow I get through it. I filled out a report against him for harassment and a threat, it helped a little. But still.. I have flashbacks and nightmares that I have a hard time dealing with. Most of the time I don't sleep. But I have an excellent boyfriend now, that gets me through all of this.. he has been wonderful.
It's not exactly my whole story, but I had to skip a lot of details. I am so sorry girls, if any of you need someone to talk to.. my e-mail is on my profile, feel free to e-mail me and talk to me. I would love it. Survive girls, don't let them get away with it.. You deserve better.

Posts: 41 | From: Michigan,USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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this belongs in support groups.

if p then q (statement)
if p then not q (negation)
if q then p (converse)
if not p then not q (inverse)
if not q then not p (contrapositive)

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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