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Author Topic: My friend was "attacked" !!!!!!!!
vballchck
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yesterday (1/ 29/03) one of my best friends was attacked by an older man.

She had just gotten out of basketball practice and came outside (from the doors to the locker) and someone came up and grabbed her around her waist...he pulled her to behind where our busses are and started to push her around. some how she ended up falling/"galloping" down the hill behind the busses. she saw him up at top w/ shoes, sweatpants, and "hoody" on..and a beard. he came down after her. he started to push her shoulders to the ground..but had trouble because she was struggling. but he got her down on her back. he started to rub her legs and arms. she was going to say something but he said "if you say anything i'm going to kill you" in a "deep voice". he got close to her face so she kicked him. she turned over on to her stomach and started to crawl away. he grabbed her ankle. he let go because he got hurt somehow, probably a stick scratched him or something like that. but she ran up the hill and got away. she got a second chance on life..and w/out something horribly horribly drastic to her..yes. she did get scared mentally, but thank god not physically.

this is not a lie.. this is the full truth. no lie...i swear to God, i swear to my death. You can check it. it was reported to the police today because her parents and the people who knew are stupid...but i swear it happend. if its not true she lied to me, tones of people, the principle at our school, her parents, and tomorrow the police. so i doubt this is fake..but please believe me..

but anyways...i'm really scared. she is one of my best friends, i tell her about almost anything. but she could of been raped, she could of been killed. she could of been hurt very badly. this happened at my school, to someone i know. i mean i go to a private school, and i live in a considerably safe city, so this is really shocking. i can't believe it and no one else can believe it. i know we've all heard things like that, but to actually know it was it happened to is just horrible. i'm so scared now.. i want to go look to see where it all was, i would usually do it alone, but now, now, now its just to scary, idon't trust our school, we're on a hill, around as you say, not the best neighborhood. but what do you think about this. do you believe me? but i'm not lieing unless i was lied to. do you think i can trust my city again? do you think if it happened to me i would be more prepared? do you think i would beable to fight back my instink/natural way? i'm so scared.

please reply. i'm so scared and i feel horible, because its my friend, one of my best friends, who i would hate to loose. :-(


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Heather
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I'm afraid to tell you that you'd have a hard time finding a city this sort of thing -- and worse -- does NOT happen in, often regularly.

That's a hard thing to live with, but it's so.

You can call the police yourself and voice your concern about school security -- that's a totally valid thing to do (do call the non-emergency number, however). I'd also suggest you have your parents call your school and ask about what they're doing in terms of security measures.

It never, ever hurts to learn about self-defense and safety, no matter where you live. perhaps your folks could even suggest your school get someone in to lecture on it or give a class.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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-Jill
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(((hug)))

Something that may make you feel safer is to network with your friends. Travel in groups, make sure someone knows where you are, things of that nature. The more everyone pays attention the harder it will be for something like this to happen again.

Obviously this isn't foolproof -- as your friend had the misfortune of learning.

Moving to Support Groups


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vballchck
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hey thank you so much for actually believing.. i'm hoping i can ask the school about the safty thing..cause this is a big thing. will it be in the news? cause i don't think it would be smart to do because the poor girl has to repeat..again. she's told alot of people. but its friends, but if she has to tell police and stuff, it could get a bit scary. has this ever happened to anyone else before and how they coped w/ it?
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Heather
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Didn't you say she'd already reported to the police in the first post?

Just confused.


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vballchck
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she called them today.....and i said she would lie to all those people "and tomorrow the police" sooo i didn't say she reported it, and if i did, i didn't see it when i just reread it...but like i said, they called today and she talks to them tomorrow.
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Heather
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Well, it's not atypical after an attack to have to tell the tale a few times.

However, the police are usually pretty darn skilled in knowing how to make it as easy as possible for victims of attacks.

Chances are it'll be a whole lot less scary for her reporting so she can know they're working on finding this man.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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*sweetie*
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she was attacked?? thats absolutely horrible, a friend of mine told me that she was hurt once-by a guy that she had just met-i felt so bad for her, she didn't tell her parents but i was scared for her so i did-then about a week later when the police started questioning her she got really scared and then she told me that it hadn't happend-that she had made it all up and just told everyone-like a cry for help. i couldn't belive she had done that-she finally told her parents and got in a lot of trouble-no one could believe she had made it all up
-anyway-the moral of my ramblings is that i hope your friend will be okay and to watch out for all your friends
~*Sweetie*~

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vballchck
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wow, if someone goes that far just for a cry for help then they must be in trouble. i hope everything is ok now. if my friend lied though she lied to everyone, even the police. i know somethings that kind of prove that it did happen, but somethings tell me that it doesn't work out...


but don't get me wrong...i still believe her

[This message has been edited by vballchck (edited 02-04-2003).]


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*sweetie*
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vballchck-i hate to be nosey but im just curious-how is your friend? i really hope she is okay and if the school you attend has some sort of safety plan they are willing to put into effect
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JustSomeGuy
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DEFINATELY suggest to your school that they improve security. If it happened after sports practice, it must have been during the day sometime- does your school have hall monitors/security guards that regularly patrol the school/grounds during and after school? If not, they should.

Obviously this person also came onto school property- how easy is it for someone to gain access to the school grounds? At my school, for example, you can really only get onto school property from a visible area- a fairly heavily traveled state road or the side road that runs in front of the school, which has an assortment of businesses/people on it. Most of the rest of the property is fenced- of course, you could get over the fence fairly easily, but it certainly might scare some away because of increased getaway time or whatever- even though the woods that surround the school might be restrictive enough (ah, rural New York state). If your school property isn't fenced, push for them to install a fence- if you can't do it on your own, get together a group of concerned students and parents and battle the school board if necessary. Suggest that they limit access to a main entrance/visible area if possible.

Also, don't limit yourself to outdoor security. if someone can get onto school property and attack someone that easily, it may indicate a general lack of security. My school keeps only the main entrance unlocked during the day (and most times when school is not in session)- and there is a reception area from which all people coming into the building can be seen. Suggest cameras if necessary, if parts of the building and grounds cannot easily be seen- which it seems is true, if this happened down a hill behind a bus area. Your school SHOULD have hall monitors and security staff on duty at all times, and someone should be available to monitor cameras if they do install them. My school's cafeterias recently installed cameras to cut down on stealing, and they're monitored during all lunch periods. at the same time, they wired the entire building for cameras, if they want to install them somewhere down the road. they could easily be installed all over the building and outside if necessary, and be monitored all the time, because they already have a security office with all the necessary equipment- I'm sure your school could do the same.

Find out what kind of security policies your school has- my school has an emergency guide with instructions for dealing with any kind of situation- whether its an intruder, fire, bomb scare, or structural failure, and each teacher has a copy. if your school has one, it should be easily accessible. If not, each teacher should have one.

so, what I'm trying to say in a nutshell is BE VOCAL. gain support for the cause- if parents knew about what happened, they should be willing to fight for increased security measures. if your school doesn't listen to your suggestions the first time when you calmly present the case, then don't be afraid to fight. be as high profile as you can- get the media involved if you have to.


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vballchck
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Hey my friend is doing fine..we haven't talked about it much.....and no my school has no security monitors or whatever..they haven't done a thing..they didn't send a letter home, they didn't call the parents, they didn't tell the students. they didn't do a darn thing because our school isn't smart and doesn't realize how they NEED to tell parents about it...even if its not true (but i think it is) they should send it home...and if for some odd reason its not true just tell the parents again....so yeah..
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Whatsthatmommy
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that's really scary. My school doesnt have security guards after school. The only advice i can give is once you turn 18 you can get a concealed weapon permit which allows you to carry a gun with you as long it's concealed.
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Milke
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Not in the UK. Not in Canada; not even in every state. Not if you're opposed to the use of firearms, or realise that in many cases you're as likely to have the gun turned against you as successfully use it against someone, or if the idea of having to shoot someone bothers you. She can get a cell phone -- in any country -- and have it programmed with the number of local police (since 911 dialed from a cell phone can be confusing to its dispatchers), but I realy wouldn't suggest walking around armed -- or going to school that way. That's not exactly the sort of thing that's allowed at schools anyway.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost

[This message has been edited by Milke (edited 02-24-2003).]


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persephone801
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why does vballchick keep obsessing over wheher or not this is true and whether or not we believe her? This sounds strange to me... either her friend was attacked and she believes it and we would here too as rape (attempted or otherwise) is talked about here, or she thinks her friend is making it up or someo ne else does... just ....We believe, no more fervent replies, you seem traumatized by this, get help, for your sake.
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Milke
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Persephone, enough with the suspicion and diagnosing stranger's psychiatric disorders for them. I think you're making a bit much of the bits of information that are being presented here. It's easy to come to the wrong assumption when we only see a fraction of the whole story.

------------------
Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost


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religously concious
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(((pat on back))) well, this IS a support group so OF COURSE I belive you. I am very glad your friend is OK...well, physically anyway. I hope that you will be able to get over this nightmare with her. I wish you both the utmost luck and a long, happy life.

------------------
Crazy Polish New Yorker
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Cause I am Crazy, Polish, and from New York State


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